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Divorce, exh suing for money, long story any advice at all?

(10 Posts)
piffle Tue 29-Mar-05 13:08:00

not for me!!!!!!
For a friend with no pc or internet knowledge
she was living with her ex for 11 yrs, they bought house together, they split, she borrowed heavily to buy him out (he wanted out of house too btw - amicable split) as she has a really good managerial position she has worked for company since leaving school and now is in charge of lots of business areas etc
She then meets childhood sweetheart - he is in navy, has mum in debt who he sends money to from his navy wage
anyway marry - he leaves navy, gets job with friends compnay in electrical (she got him job IYSWIM) he pays her £50 pw as if board and lodging no more no less, this also includes her buying special vets dog food for his diabetic dog at £7pw
Anyway they have darling little ds, decide to move house as her old house in slightly rougher area and they want nice palce for little ds.
So she sells her old place, buys new place, she alone pays mortgage even though house is £75 k more. he still pays just the £50pw board, she busies about doing house up and stuff
He then buggers off 1 mth after getting his name on the house.
He has paid no child support but sees ds diligently and is good dad when he has him. when exh left he took out 5k loan (in his own name) to furnish his flat (sharing with another woman as it turned out) he is also insisting she pays this off for him)
He wants half her house equity (about 60k), she is sole carer for ds, works very hard, pays childcare etc - exh has every 2nd weekend with ds.
She wants to keep it amicable but if he gets the equity she will be unable to afford another house
Any ideas anyone on likelihood of what he could rightly claim?

piffle Tue 29-Mar-05 13:08:58

meant to add all his other wages minus the £50 he gave BM, went to his mum for her debts

tribpot Tue 29-Mar-05 13:23:02

What a nasty situation. My guess is he is not entitled to 50% of the house but I would suggest your friend do some or all of the following:
- make an appointment with the Citizens' Advice Bureau
- arrange to see a solicitor (first half hour consultation should be free in most cases I think?)
- you also might want to post your question on \link {\The Legal Issues board} at the Fool, although I suspect the advice there will be that she needs specialist help.

I can understand why she wants to keep things amicable for the sake of the time ds has with his dad, but it doesn't really seem like the ex is playing the same game. Wanting a loan he took out after leaving her to be paid by her? Surely not. I hope for her sake the loan in his sole name.

tribpot Tue 29-Mar-05 13:23:49

let me try that link again!

piffle Tue 29-Mar-05 13:40:07

it's in court at the moment, a judgement is due in about 7 weeks, her lawyer says she must appear to be helpful and not selfish so she has maxed out her mortgage capability to offer him $4k one off payment.
yes the loan is in his name only.
she is trying to make plans ahead as she does not know if he can force a sale or not with her and her ds living in it. her lawyer will not confirm as she says it differs in cases...
she is desperately worried

Freckle Tue 29-Mar-05 15:58:04

The courts will look at needs and resources, but will also consider contributions if relevant. As she has their ds with her, her needs will be greater than his. This coupled with the history of virtually no financial contribution by him will probably mean that the courts will not grant him a very large proportion of any joint assets. The court will also look at his failure to pay any maintenance and take that into account.

If she offers a one-off payment of £4,000, perhaps she should suggest that she pay this once he has contributed his fair share to the upbringing of their child. Sounds like a bl**dy chancer to me.

piffle Tue 29-Mar-05 16:07:18

he is exactly a chancer, that's what is really annoying her, he has tickets to go to Australia with his mum on a one way type scenario as soon as he has his loot.
So ds will lose out and if she loses the house...

Freckle Tue 29-Mar-05 16:23:04

Does she have any proof of this? If she has, she should let her solicitor know as this is evidence that a court would consider.

tribpot Tue 29-Mar-05 16:50:57

I can't understand why she is even considering keeping things amicable if he's just going to up sticks and vanish once the court settlement comes through. Is this taking place in the UK? (I notice you said originally $4,000). Her solicitor can surely give her an idea of what the likely outcome is, but I would have thought Freckle's prediction was pretty accurate.

piffle Wed 30-Mar-05 10:12:19

£ not $ yes UK
The lawyer has said she cannot use the Oz trip as he has not stated that he will be away for anything more than a short working holiday, he will save up the money for his return trip while working over there
Everyone knows he won't come back as his mums settling over there again.

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