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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Free legal advice is available from a Citizen's Advice Bureau, and the Law Society can supply a list of local solicitors.

restraining order

(12 Posts)
Aniles Sun 20-Mar-05 12:14:03

I split up from my ex-h more than eight years ago. For the 3 years after we split he was constantly harrassing me, trying to kick my front door in, making threats etc until I moved house and broke off all contact. I've recently made contact with him regarding changing my dd's surname. He seemed extremely reasonable, agreed to meet me, signed a letter etc. I thought he was being a bit too reasonable but he is now living with another woman who he has a child with, it's been a long time, so I thought he's just grown up and moved on. However, it seems I've opened up a whole can of worms. In the middle of the night he left messages on my mobile phone saying that he is coming to get me and then turned up at my house, he banged on my door for 15 minutes, and has smashed and dented my car. I have no idea how he found out where I live, or what car I have (it wasn't parked outside my house). I've obvioulsy reported this to the police and am waiting for them to come round, which I imagine will be all day!

Am I in a position to get a restraining order against my ex-h? I have copies of a solicitor letter that states that he was harrassing me at my previous address. Would it be a costly procedure? Do I need to go to a particular type of solicitor?

Thanks for any advice

Freckle Sun 20-Mar-05 12:19:19

If you have evidence that he is acting like this and causing you to be concerned for your and your dd's safety, then I would go to see a solicitor as soon as possible. Family lawyers are used to dealing with these types of application. The police may also be able to help.

Good luck. It sounds a perfectly dreadful situation.

Aniles Sun 20-Mar-05 22:01:14

Well, surprise, surprise the police haven't come round! I'm going to phone a solicitor first thing in the morning but in the meantime I'm sitting here sh**ing myself worrying that I might get a repeat performance and worse! And if he does turn up again it doesn't look like the police wil be rushing round to help!!

Freckle Sun 20-Mar-05 22:03:48

Have you called the police again to find out why they haven't bothered to come round? That's disgusting. I'd make a huge fuss. Hope you don't have any more bother.

Aniles Sun 20-Mar-05 22:09:42

Yes, I phoned them a couple of hours ago and was told that they are waiting for some officers to become available but that it would probably have to wait til tomorrow. I told them that I'm worried about a reapeat performance but it didn't seem to make any difference.

Aniles Mon 21-Mar-05 08:35:50

OMG I'm going out of my mind here. He didn't return last night night but I obviously didn't get a wink of sleep. The police still haven't turned up so they obviously aren't taking this seriously. He treated me like this constantly for 3 years and now it's started again I don't think it's about to stop. He knows very well he CAN treat me like this because the police NEVER DO ANYTHING!!

I don't know where to start in choosing a solicitor so I've got phone numbers for the Law centre (free advice) and CAB but lines for both aren't open til 10.

I'm just sitting here waiting, completely on edge and getting angrier and angrier that no one seems to care!!!

irishbird Mon 21-Mar-05 11:34:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Freckle Mon 21-Mar-05 14:28:11

Any progress? Did you manage to see a solicitor? Did the police ever turn up? If not, I'd contact the police complaints authority.

Aniles Mon 21-Mar-05 16:11:49

The CAB didn't seem to be able to do any more than suggest a solicitor, who I'm going to see tomorrow for a free consultation. The police didn't come round so I ended up going to the police station myself (went to 3 diff ones, first 2 were closed!) I gave the details to the lady on the desk who appeared completley uninterested. She wrote down some details, said that it would be a diff station that would deal with it but since it was likely to be my word against his, they wouldn't be able to do anything! She didn't want to hear the message he left on my mobile saying that he was coming to get me and said that even if there was proof that he left the meassage and that he was banging on my door, they couldn't do anything at all about that!!

I doubt I'm going to have any more luck with the solicitor so it feels like I'm just waiting for the next time!

aloha Mon 21-Mar-05 16:14:15

Ask to speak to the domestic violence unit -there will be one and they really should take this more seriously. It sounds terrifying.

Aniles Tue 22-Mar-05 15:35:32

The solicitor was very nice and sympathetic. He's taken all the details from the last 10 years and is writing a letter to ex-h telling him to stay away from me and my house. He said that if ex-h comes to my house once he has had the letter then I should be able to get an injunction straight away, which is reasurring. Shame I've had to pay £180 though!!!! I hope it's worth it!

Freckle Wed 23-Mar-05 20:53:40

Ouch! However, it might be a good price to pay for peace of mind in the future.

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