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Always skint

(19 Posts)
curtains Wed 02-Mar-05 13:47:01

Sorry to be a moaner here, but I'm really down and fed up with being poor.DH earns 200 quid a week and I do part-time jobs that fit round the kids to try to raise our income, but I always feel really poor.It doesn't help that we stay in an "affluent" area and everyone has a people carrier/SUV and a much bigger house than us.I know it's not important to have material things but when your house/car etc. that's always the smallest,or the oldest it gets me down after years and years of it.Also none of my mummy friends work as their dh,s are on mega bucks or at least enough to have the standard 2 cars, extension and conservatory, holidays etc etc.
I'm really happily married and I love my kids and my dh is great, but being the poor one is just getting to me.We never have spare money, we just seem to pay for repairs to the old car, we can't get a new one as we've no spare cash.We haven't had a holiday since our honeymoon 9 years ago,everyone here is starting the "and where are you going this year" conversations and as usual they don't ask me as they don't want to embarass me.I know I sound pathetic and I'm sorry, but today I just feel really down about it all and I don't want to moan to my dh as he knows his money is crap and doesn't need it rubbed in...

Tortington Wed 02-Mar-05 23:53:16

really sorry you are feeling a bit low - theres no advice i can give other than this.... ever watched desperate housewives? everyone has problems behind closed doors.

also keeping up with the jones will continuosly get you down - your doing the best you can for your family - no one can ask more of you than that!

colditzmum Wed 02-Mar-05 23:59:48

If its really getting your down, move to a less affluent area. There is nothing like having your neighbour knocking on your door to "borrow some potatoes until Tuesday" to make you feel lucky. Our family income sounds about the same as yours, me being a sahm is NOT an option and if that makes me a bad parent, tough!

But there are people in this country who are so poor it's unbelievable. Not that I'm getting at you, we went on holiday last year for the first time ever together, and we just don't have a car!

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 03-Mar-05 00:01:41

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} curtains. I'm sorry that you feel so bad at the moment. We never have any money either and holidays are a rare thing for us. Took us years to have a holiday and now we have DTs so no more holidays until our numbers come up. Be glad that you have a healthy loving family.

threadkillingstrawberry Thu 03-Mar-05 00:15:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

threadkillingstrawberry Thu 03-Mar-05 00:17:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MunchedTooManyMarsLady Thu 03-Mar-05 00:27:20

just posting to debunk your name strawberry

curtains Thu 03-Mar-05 07:25:32

Thanks for your replies, you are all absolutely right.I'm looking at my kids watching TV in a cosy living room and I shouldn't be moaning about anything!
I think my problem as a SAHM(most of the time!) is that my little world is really small and I don't get "out" to mix much with people that don't have kids and aren't in the keeping up with the Joneses way of life.I know when my kids are all in school I'll get back into the real world more and get a better prospective on things!

toot12 Thu 10-Mar-05 08:12:51

I was drawn to this title as it applies to me too!

Just to be nosey, how much disposable income does everyone have after all bills/expenses? We never seem to have any!

Expectantmum Thu 10-Mar-05 08:48:06

Curtains I really feel for you, but as others have said, money doesn't buy you happiness. Your children are healthy and happy, you and your DH sound like you have a lovely relationship and yes, one day when your children go to school, you will have more time on your hands which means you could work a few more hours. In a way, I'm envious of you because I am expecting my first child in June, I earn a relatively good income and so does my DP, but I will just about manage to be able to take six months off and then I will have to go back full time. Have you ever heard the saying "the more you earn, the more you spend"? That is definitely true, so when you are feeling sad and low just remember that those friends who seem to have everything, are having to make sacrifices somewhere, possibly some that you are not having to make.

Big hugs and keep smiling!

tarantula Thu 10-Mar-05 09:17:22

Oh this is me too. Was sitting in work yesterday getting really depressed about how little money we have for the rest of the month (Think Ive got PMS too tho ). I try really hard to economise and still give dd good food and keep her and dss in clothes and just seem to end up with no money at the end of the month. and to top all that dp waved with off to work this morning with "See ya later scruffy" (dont normally care how I look but made me cos cos I cant afford to buy new clothes which is stupid cos if I did have extra money I prob wouldnt buy new clothes anyway )
Still I keep telling myself that at least Im not working all hours and really stressed just to keep up a lifestyle. Think I need a dose of Monty Python. All together now "always look on the bright side of life...."

TwinSetAndPearls Thu 10-Mar-05 15:34:19

My partner and I bring in a good income and yet we are always broke and wondering how we are going to afford the things we want such as the extension and we need to replace our car. I also feel selfish for moaning about it as I have been a genuinely skint single Mum and I work with people who have far less than me.

As someone else said there are people in dire poverty but that doesn't always make you feel better when your car is rattling, the central locking keeps failing and you have to eat dinner in the kitchen as there is no money for the extension. Dp and I ahve talked about me working more hours to raise money ( I work 6 hours) but then I would miss dd so I might be earning more but then I would be paying out for childcare and be miserable and stressed.

I think the more you have, the more you think you need so the nore you spend. I used to be a single mum living on benefits in a dodgy rented house but we now have an income of £40 grand plus and a nice house yet there are still times we struggle to meet bills and have the odd treat.

My dp got sick of me moaning that I couldn't have new things ( I think I must have been a miliionaire in a previous life and somehow death and rebirth haven't changed my expectations!!. We have started selling stuff on ebay such as dd clothes and the money goes in our treat fund for new clothes or a naughty night in a hotel. I am quite good with a camera so have taken some kids portraits for a small fee and also done some sewing and even sold a few cards I have made. Do you not have any talents you can exploit for cash or even clothes the kids have grown out of or stuff you don't use that you can sell?

flamesparrow Thu 10-Mar-05 15:40:41

Our finances are poohy too - a lot is because I chose to be a SAHM but tbh, I wouldn't have been earning much more had I stayed a work and paid a childminder.

I get annoyed seeing people wasting money on pointless stuff when I can't afford to buy the things I want, my biggest downfall is clothes for B - I want to spend a fortune on them but I just can't!!

I just keep telling myself that it won't always be like this, and something does always turn up to fix it - and then have a good cry once in a while (watching a girly tearjerker is great for that, especially if you don't want your partner to know that's why you're sobbing into your popcorn!).

I know there are those worse off than me, and you, but they ain't living our lives, which (even if people don't admit it) is the only life you really care about!

Something will turn up. Huge hugs from someone who is with ya!!!


expatinscotland Thu 10-Mar-05 15:46:57

Well, you've got plenty of company! Won't get paid till 28 March and we're already hundreds of £££s into our overdraft. But being rich has n/thing do w/money. (((HUGS))) to you!!!

TwinSetAndPearls Thu 10-Mar-05 15:51:03

My overdraft was a gift from my bank when I graduated , and not wanting to be rude I make gteat use of it permanently!

expatinscotland Thu 10-Mar-05 16:11:56

If only our overdraft amount and our bank balance figures were reversed . . .

ssd Thu 10-Mar-05 19:42:33

do you have any experience with kids?

you could maybe childmind if you're at home anyway...

or maybe you have experience doing something else?try to think what you enjoy doing and maybe you could do it to bring in some extra income

curtains Thu 10-Mar-05 19:45:45

Thanks ssd, the main problem is really my dh's income.It's just so low and it's never going to raise by more than the cost of living raises.
I wouldn't ever swap him, he's a brilliant dad and hubby.
Maybe one day we'll win the lottery!!!

flamesparrow Fri 11-Mar-05 07:59:49

I comepletly agree with you twinset... I wouldn't want to offend anyone at the bank by not making the most of their generous overdraft girt. I do wish the nice credit card people wouldn't keep gifting me with higher limits though... I'm actually having to use self restraint!!!!

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