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I would like my own bank account, after years of only having joint accounts with DH - questions

(39 Posts)
Celery Fri 12-Sep-08 09:29:51

I have been with dh for 13 years, married for 7. We have always had joint bank accounts. I feel now however that I would like my own account. The marriage is faltering, I'm not sure what is going to happen, but I would like to start being practical should the worst happen. What I would like to know is, would it be possible for me to open and maintain my own account without his knowledge? We also have a joint mortgage, and will be moving as soon as it is sensible to do so ( with the current housing market ). I presume when we move, the mortgage people will want details of all our accounts, so would it be possible to keep the fact that I have my own account secret from my husband.

Please, no marriage advice, or comments on the fact that I would effectively be lying to him. I've put this in the money matters forum, because I just want advice on the feasibility of having my own account without anyone else's knowledge. thank you.

ChasingSquirrels Fri 12-Sep-08 09:33:23

yes you could have your own account without him knowing (in that there is no need for him to know - although hiding the evidence might cause problems - card, bank statements etc - but then online account could overcome some of this).
I don't see why you would need to disclose it to a new mortgage provider, if they are happy to lend on the basis of what you supply then the fact you have more shouldn't be an issue (but this is my thoughts rather than any knowledge).

Crunchie Fri 12-Sep-08 09:42:07

You dh doesn't need to know bank accounts and nor does a mortgage company.

Please sort one out. make sure you get online statements etc and you will be fine

Good luck in what ever you decide - one always needs a 'running away account' it is crucial - no matter how happy the marriage

Niecie Fri 12-Sep-08 09:42:53

No reason at all why you shouldn't open your own bank account. As CS says an on-line one would do away with statements and the odd letter they send could easily be passed off as junk mail. You don't even need to have a cheque book. A debit card would do the same job.

Having money to put in it would be more difficult to achieve. Would DH notice that there was less in the joint accounts?

No need to mention it in the mortgage application if it is kept in credit and you didn't huge amounts in it which you have to rely on to get the mortgage. I am sure lots of people don't list, either deliberately or by mistake, all their financial arrangements on a mortgage application.

Celery Fri 12-Sep-08 09:48:20

Thank you everyone, that is very helpful and reassuring.

tiggerlovestobounce Fri 12-Sep-08 10:15:35

I have accounts that I didnt mention in my mortgage application (not for any reason really, just have a couple of "old" accounts that just sit there with a small amount of money in them).

Do you have anything like that that you could start using again?

I think that the advice to make it an internet account is good, otherwise could be hard to explain the statements!

Good luck.

SueW Fri 12-Sep-08 10:29:16

If you have an internet-based account, make sure you can pay into it and draw out through a high street branch if you want to. Small amounts of cash - even the change from your purse after you've been shopping - squirrelled away on a regular basis can mount up over time. Otherwise chances are you'll be leaving a trail of cheques you've paid in.

I have a separate account which isn't secret but isn't held with our main bank - the statements are filed in our banking statements folder if DH ever bothered to look but he is not interested in finance. If friends give me cheques, say to pay for a ticket to the theatre or their share of a meal, those will be paid into my own account even though the initial expense will have been paid from the joint account.

Celery Fri 12-Sep-08 10:33:01

He rarely pays attention to the finances, that's my "thing", and we are well off enough for me to be able to squirrel some money away each month without him noticing. If nothing else, it will help me to feel less trapped in the marriage - I don't work, and we have had a lot of financial help from HIS family over the years. I really have been a kept woman, which terrifies me now. I am starting an OU degree this year, and taking small steps to be more independant.

SueW Fri 12-Sep-08 12:02:34

Go for it then!

I've always had this separate thing because DH is freelance and I feel safer knowing there's provision for the down times. I also have my own PEPs or whatever they are called now and share portfolio (although that's worth about half now what it was at its highest point, sadly).

I've just gone back to full-time work, recently qualified as an antenatal teacher for extra money in addition to f-t job and have, like you, started an OU degree (altho I'm struggling to fit that in at the moment).

DD's now 11 and I'm enjoying my new lease of life. Good luck.

RambleOn Wed 17-Sep-08 01:18:57

celery - hope you're still around.

I would advise against this course of action in the light of my friends recent experience.

If you are married to your partner (you call him DH, so am assuming you are), all assets would be up for grabs in the event of separation/divorce.

ie. The account that you set up in your own name would be considered a joint asset, and as such he would be entitled to his share.

Much better to do the following:

Find trusted friend/family member who will look after your money for you.

Every time you buy food at supermarket, get your max £50 cashback, and pass this cash on to your friend to deposit for you.

This way, it is untraceable to you, and it looks like you've spent it on the household.

An added bonus wouldbe someone who is a non-taxpayer, and will not pay tax on your their interest.

Good luck.

RambleOn Wed 17-Sep-08 01:22:41

Immoral? - Perhaps.

Illegal? - Almost certainly. wink

solo Wed 17-Sep-08 01:32:39

I'd put it in one or more of my childrens names and hide the fact from Dh. Good luck.

RambleOn Wed 17-Sep-08 02:43:49

If it's in your childrens names, you are unable to then access it.

Celery Wed 17-Sep-08 06:52:31

Hi, thanks for your comments. I am still really unsure what to do. Almost tempted to get a shoe box and hide it under the floor boards. I'm in discussions with a friend. Still thinking about opening my own account. mmh, it's a toughie.

foofi Wed 17-Sep-08 06:59:16

Celery, I know that last comment from you was a flippant one, but I would agree that it is actually safer to keep cash in a box if you don't want it looked at as joint assets later.

nervousal Wed 17-Sep-08 09:38:33

rambleon - why would it be illegal?

solo Wed 17-Sep-08 09:56:33

You can access your childrens accounts if you open it and hold the book/card etc, as long as they are under 16 I believe(best to check the age limit). I used my Dc's money in both their accounts to pay the mortgage earlier this year, so unless it's an untouchable savings account or a trust fund, it should be fine - just don't tell the bank that that is what you are doing as that is illegal. It gains higher interest and is non taxable.

SpandexIsMyEnemy Wed 17-Sep-08 10:00:14

actually rambleon, DS has a bank account and i'm the signatory on it. so I can get to the money. XH can't thou as it's only my name on the account.

SpandexIsMyEnemy Wed 17-Sep-08 10:00:50

(then again I don't actually use it iycwim) but could do.

Celery Wed 17-Sep-08 10:09:33

Opening a children's account is an idea worth pursuing. I guess I could just close it and transfer the money elsewhere when the time came? There is no way the bank could question why I am transferring my child's money to an adult account is there?

solo Wed 17-Sep-08 10:26:42

You wouldn't tell them that Celery, you'd just say you were putting 'their' money into a trust fund at another bank. Watch your back, tell the bank nothing that they don't need to know.

Celery Wed 17-Sep-08 10:40:28

Thank you.

solo Wed 17-Sep-08 11:54:47

You aren't a tax man are you Celery? if so, I'm guilty! and caught! shock

Celery Wed 17-Sep-08 12:38:23

no, deffo not a tax man. your secret's safe with me smile

solo Wed 17-Sep-08 12:55:48


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