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Sorry to be morbid again but I am so stressed about the fact I can't afford my grandmas funeral and perhaps to have her will dealt with. What am I going to do?

(16 Posts)
twinsetandpearls Wed 10-Sep-08 20:56:48

We have just wiped out all of our savings moving house and paying for medical treatment for me. We have some debt for my medical bills and from me being a SAHM. We are paying rent here and most of the mortgage on our old house which hasn't sold. We were also giving money to my grandma every month as she was living in real poverty. We have just found out she owes over £15K to the bank. She has, or had nothing, she had sold anything of value apart from a few rings.

She has a funeral insurance but I am not sure that she kept up the payments and even if she did when the money goes in the bank it will be siezed to clear her debts.

We have found her will and it leaves things most of which she no longer has, apart from a ring to her sister and another ring to a solicitors who are also exexutors of the will. So I will also have to pay to have a will sorted that has no value.

katz Wed 10-Sep-08 20:59:43

try talking to hula, her DH is a fab solicitor and he might be able to advise you.

phdlife Wed 10-Sep-08 21:03:04

sorry to hear that twinset, can't help but maybe this will bump and someone else who can will be along soon.

twinsetandpearls Wed 10-Sep-08 21:03:43


Anchovy Wed 10-Sep-08 21:08:10

No twinset, probate of will is probably not not necessary. If there is nothing to leave under a will, you don't need to do anything. Even if there are only a few small things, a lot of people will deal with a death certificate.

If the bank need to see one to close the account you can do it yourself. It is v easy where there are small estates. All info is available online somewhere. I'm sure we can all talk you through that bit. (I talked my mum and dad through it as they did my grandmothers and I was v heavily pregnant then had weeny baby). So don't fret too much about the legal fees side of it.

Sorry for the rest.

georgimama Wed 10-Sep-08 21:08:11

I think, if there is no money to pay for a funeral, the council will pay for one. I would get in touch with CAB as they should be able to point you in the right direction.

If there is a funeral policy with any value left in it I am not sure that it would be seized to pay her debts, it is for a specific purpose so I think it is ring-fenced as it were. Again, CAB should be able to advise.

paddingtonbear1 Wed 10-Sep-08 21:09:28

so sorry to hear about your grandma T&P.
It makes me so angry to hear about unscrupulous lending like this.

Most funeral homes have payment plans for something like this, if that would be any good? Would SS be able to help?

paddingtonbear1 Wed 10-Sep-08 21:11:04

pressed too soon! When my ex-p's granddad died, noone in the family had any money for a funeral. I think the council may have paid.

filthymindedvixen Wed 10-Sep-08 21:12:21

oh T&P, I m so sorru you have to deal with all this on top of the fact you have lost your grandma.
Agree, speak to CAB, they are very knowledgeable about all sorts of things, especially leagal and debt etc.
I presume the rest of the family cannot/will not help you?

twinsetandpearls Wed 10-Sep-08 21:14:15

My mum has looked into getting help with the funeral but apparantly it goes on the salary of the person planning the funeral who would officially be my mum. But she does not have the money to pay for it and I know my family will look to me as I am the one with the supposed large salary.

I did not know the funeral policy has been ringfenced. Hopefully she kept it up to date.

I am not sure about the will, my mum said just say to everyone there is a will but most of it does not exist so have what you want. So far we cannot finf the ring for the solicitor but I have seem it recently, now this solicitor are also executors for the will, so do we not have to let them deal with the will.

georgimama Wed 10-Sep-08 21:20:30

Be very careful about disregarding the will, it should be properly executed even if it is no longer possible to fulfil its terms because the property/money no longer exists.

Can't understand the problem with your mum and the funeral, if it is calculated on the income of the person "paying" and your mum is that person and can't afford it, why would you have to pay? Surely she would then qualify for assistance?

twinsetandpearls Wed 10-Sep-08 21:28:54

My mum won't qualify for assistance she earns too much but having just paid for my sister to go through university she has no savings and just has no spare income.

I thought that georgimama but I can't afford to execute the will.

georgimama Wed 10-Sep-08 21:34:06

Sorry, not trying to be antagonistic, but why is it your responsibility to execute the will? Are you the executor - if not, I don't understand why it falls on you. If your mother is your grandmother's next of kin it is up to her to obtain probate.

I am pretty fuzzy on all this, it may actually be that you don't need a grant of probate at all because there is no property for which you need one to assume ownership. CAB or local law centre is your best bet. A solicitor who knows about estates and probate will give you 30 minute free consultation.

twinsetandpearls Wed 10-Sep-08 21:54:35

I will see a solcitor, not really look for the answer on here just venting stress.

I am not the executor, she has named someone who is dead and this solicitors at the other end of the counrty who may no longer be in operation, the will was made 20 years ago.

My mum is next if kin but I don;t want her to become stressed by money and practical things when she is grieving for her mother. I am also the sesnsible on of the family who tends to take care of things. We also live the closest to my grandma. My mum is also not in particularly good health.

As my grandma was in a rented council house we only have 2 weeks to move everything out of her house.

scaryteacher Thu 11-Sep-08 07:25:54

If there is a funeral insurance, it should be paid up, or have been a one off payment. The company should make the payment direct to the funeral directors. If it's through the Co-op, check what they do. That's what my Nan did, and my brother and I didn't have to pay too much for the funeral.

We didn't get probate either as Nana lived in sheltered housing and lived on her pensions, so really nothing left about from personal possessions and a couple of what we thought were paid and worthless insurances, which actually yielded about £3,000.

I found this on the North Wilts Council website; I presume it is the same for all councils:

A person named as an executor in a will is not under any legal obligation to act in that capacity. If, however, they do so, they are subject to certain legal obligations, the first of which is to make appropriate arrangements for disposal of the remains. The reasonable cost of a funeral is always the first thing that has to be met from a deceased’s estate and takes priority over all creditors including the Inland Revenue. Further advice on the role of an executor can be obtained from a Solicitor or Citizen’s Advice Bureau.

I am sorry about your Gran. Mine died two years ago at 93, and I still have to stop myself picking up the phone to call her each Sunday. We are lucky though to have had them around this long, as my maternal grandparents were both dead by the time I was twelve. My Nan got to see and know 3 great grandsons, and see my brother and I settled in our lives and careers. I do miss her though, even though she used to drive me insane at times.

twinsetandpearls Thu 11-Sep-08 18:02:30

93 is a very good age. Thanks for that scaryteacher.

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