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Income support question

(3 Posts)
FUB Mon 01-Sep-08 13:46:10

I have been single for many years and recently I have met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. He has asked me to marry him and I have said yes.

The only problem with that is he lives 150 miles away, he has a six year old daughter (whom is a delight btw), I am disabled and have my family and support network here. We are willing to work around the distance thing by just seeing each other when we can. We know we can't live together until his daughter is older but we still want to make that commitment to each other and get married.

I know it sounds crazy, but we love each other, we want to live together as man and wife but we can't just yet.

I am on income support as I am unable to work and he can't afford to keep two homes going.

My question is; if we get married will he be expected to support me financially?

IRockThePartyThatRocksTheParty Mon 01-Sep-08 13:57:43

Yes he should support you financially if you are married I think ,so far as IS goes. Unless you said you were seperated but it would seem odd and be fraudulent.

Honestly I think you are right, it does sound crazy but , congratulations to you both smile

Why can you not move regardless of your disability if he means so much to you? Is yor disability very physical and requires constant care?

How old does his daughter have to be before he will contemplate moving?

FUB Mon 01-Sep-08 14:13:19

I would move to be with him but my daughter is here (she is grown up with 2 children of her own). I couldn't imagine not being a daily part of their lives.

My disability does require a lot of care etc but I know he would provide it (he is a paramedic and knows what he is taking on). My condition is quite rare/complex and it has taken a long time to get the right sort of care and treatment for me and it would be a complete nightmare to go through it all again. If I were to move to be with him I would struggle to find an occupational therapist, physio, Dr etc who understands the condition.

I am not sure how old his daughter would have to be, it honestly depends on her. At the moment he plays a very big part in her life (as he should) and sees her daily. She would have to old enough to be comfortable with just seeing him at weekends and holidays. I really don't want to be the one who disrupts their relationship at all, I would hate that.

I know it sounds crazy but he is my soulmate, the one etc and if you had told me I would be saying all of this a year ago I would tell you that you were being mad.

We want to marry to show our commitment to each other, even if we do have to live separately for a several years.

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