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Feeling financially vunerable...want to ensure I don't get screwed in worst case scenario

(13 Posts)
givemeabreak Thu 21-Aug-08 08:04:45

My partner and I have 3 children and have been together 6 years.
Upto last year we have always lived in a property owned by myself soley in my name. Then last year partner inherited a property between him and his sister and we moved in to that. We sold my property cleared both our debts with profits and also bought a property in joint names (using profits from sale of my house) to rent out.
My partners sister is wanting to sell us her share of the property we are living in. My partner has a shortfall of about £30K in which to buy her out. As I still have some of the money left from sale of my property we were just going to use that. He however doesn't want my name going on the deeds as he is scared if we split I'd claim 50% of equity (about £300K), I on the other hand think if we split up in years to come I could be completely shafted as he could claim 50% of rented property we bought with profits of my flat sale (equity about £40K), also the debts I've cleared won't be considered.
We are going to get married next year, so hoping we won't ever split and it won't become an issue. But does anyone know would I have any stake in property he has inherited if we ever were to divorce in future. Not trying to be heather mills here but genuinely want to ensure I have enough to provide for my kids if wirst was to happen.

BreeVanderCampLGJ Thu 21-Aug-08 08:10:04

He wants jam on it.

MrsTittleMouse Thu 21-Aug-08 08:11:15

If you marry then you'll be protected (at the moment you're not). So the only issue is whether the wedding actually takes place next year. If you waited until after the wedding to buy your (future) SIL out then that would be the safest, but I can see that she might not want to wait that long.

FourArms Thu 21-Aug-08 08:12:45

Maybe it's time to get some professional advice from a solicitor and get who has paid what down on paper?

MrsTittleMouse Thu 21-Aug-08 08:13:01

Could you formally "lend" him the money (with a solicitor drawing up the agreement)? That would give you some clout if you split up before the wedding. I have to agree with Bree that his attitude isn't the best here. You have children together, you're planning to marry, but he doesn't trust you enough to put your name on the deeds of your house?

Cappuccino Thu 21-Aug-08 08:13:07

"he is scared if we split I'd claim 50% of equity"

he was mysteriously silent when you cleared all his debts for him

agree with Bree about the jam

givemeabreak Thu 21-Aug-08 08:51:00

Thanks so far...we are in scotland. Does that make a difference?

Piffle Thu 21-Aug-08 09:25:08

i think scotland have co habiting laws?
If your payments are documented then you can receive benefits from that. But if not record of who paid then no
You need to have detailed and separate records and receipts in order to stake a claim.

expatinscotland Thu 21-Aug-08 09:30:16

NO! Scotland doesn't have co-habitating and common law laws. They got rid of those years ago in order to stamp out 'irregular marriage', a custom of theirs which was far more ingrained than in England.

You need to see a solicitor asap.

Or marry now.

'He however doesn't want my name going on the deeds as he is scared if we split I'd claim 50% of equity (about £300K),'

This speaks volumes.

He has taken large sums of money from you, lived in your property rent-free and now means to use £30K of your money, all whilst you lie down and play good doormat partner.

You are leaving yourself out there.

LittleDorrit Thu 21-Aug-08 10:44:38

GMB - I think you are being incredibly sensible. Hopefully you will all be together as a family for the rest of your lives, and none of this will be relevant BUT we all know that anything can happen.
As everyone else has suggested, please get some legal advice. Your partner is obviously thinking about protecing his own interests, so you need to do the same.

Piffle Thu 21-Aug-08 11:31:39

expat thanks for correction!

Yes protect yourself take legal advice.
I amplanming to marry dp next year we have 2 kids plus my ds1
Dp is happy to share everything
I am written into everything and my contribution to this house is documented by solicitor
You can love without conditions but not giving yourself security is silly
Good on you for thinking of it now

elkiedee Thu 21-Aug-08 16:16:42

I would insist on having your name on deeds too even if you're married - his name is on the deeds of the property you bought jointly with your money, isn't it? It's not just security for you, it's the kids too.

MrsGuyOfGisbourne Thu 21-Aug-08 16:29:07

Bree - yes, not good attitude. We are having similar issues, tho' we are married, and would PLEAD with ayone in the OPs situation to cover herself, particularly for the children's sake.
Please GMAB get some professional advice on this?

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