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HELLO I'M NEW AND . . . . *** Help/advice needed about what money/benefits I would get if I move in with dp*** please :)

(21 Posts)
LA33 Mon 28-Jul-08 16:45:54


New on here and need some advice

I'm currently living on my own with my 4 yr old son so I get income support, Child tax credit and child benefit which in total is over £100 a week plus I gat my rent and council tax paid.

I want to move in with my boyfriend who gets approx 40 - 45k a year (before any deductions), according to tax credits website I would only get about £10 a week tax credits, obviously no income support and the usual £18 a week child benefit.

His wages may sound a lot but once all deductions have been taken which include csa etc, after he has paid mortgage/rent, bills car etc... there's not that much left.

Does this sound about that what I'd get?


meemar Mon 28-Jul-08 16:53:33

Hi LA33 and welcome smile

That probably sounds about right, I don't know how the earnings brackets work.

My DH is self employed based on his last years income of 28K we currently get about £45 per month in tax credits, plus child benefit.

We have 2 children.

LIZS Mon 28-Jul-08 17:05:36

possibly correct, that is still some wage to live on , do you work ? Have you checked out there is a benefits calculator there.

LA33 Mon 28-Jul-08 17:08:36

Thanks meemar

Do you work?

I have just finished college was hoping to get a job now i'm qualified as a beauty therapist but it would never fit in with school! Now I'm thinking I'd have to get a job at a school doing something else as I really wouldn't like ds to have to be in childcare...if not what do you manage to live on?

Sorry if these questions are a bit nosy but hopefully ppl won't mind talking about this cos we don't really know who each other are lol )

LIZS Mon 28-Jul-08 17:12:09

but if you qualified for CTC by working then it would be worthwhile even if it meant a couple of sessions of after school childcare.

meemar Mon 28-Jul-08 17:13:01

not nosey at all!

No I don't work, I am SAHM. Are you in London?

I only ask because I'm in Devon so 28K is a manageable wage for a family. We rent so don't have a mortgage.

isaidno Mon 28-Jul-08 17:18:35

Do you not get any maintenance payments for your DS?

You are right that you will only get about £28 in benefits. My DH earns less than your boyfriend and that is what we get.

LA33 Mon 28-Jul-08 17:22:04

Well as I said atm i'm living on my own, dp is thinking of renting a place privately or buying a place so we could live together. I'm in west midlands. I think he actually brings home between £450 and £680 a week after deductions (roughly) depending on how many hours he does that week.

I soooooo want a baby with him too and if we got a house 2gether would probably seem like the right time but then I think how am I ever going to afford to live! I have a car to run and .........well........ love shopping lol

According to tax credits computer if I don't earn very much (dinner ladies job - £120 a month lol) it's still about £10 a week CTC but with his wages I think we must not qualify for WTC.

Thanks to you too LIZS I will have a look there

LA33 Mon 28-Jul-08 17:23:12

Shouldn't be the way it is but I think being a single parent I was probably a lot beta off than i ever thought!

LA33 Mon 28-Jul-08 17:24:51

No no csa from ex - he is a complete dole dosser who has been so called 'disabled' (blagging hundreds) for life!

hercules1 Mon 28-Jul-08 17:27:24

Surely it would be better to earn money yourself so you can buy these nice things you want rather than wanting to stay on single parent benefits to do your shopping you enjoy. I appreciate you'd have to put your child into childcare but so do lots of other people....

LA33 Mon 28-Jul-08 17:31:28

Yea....2bh on the single parent benefits I've always had enough to live and clothes shop lol

Do you think working at a school would be a good idea - anything from dinnerlady to receptionist to classroom assistant I suppose......

It's school holidays I'd worry about u see, no hope with ex p helping out at all

electricluluarella Mon 28-Jul-08 17:33:24

if you have qualified as a beauty therapist, surely you should do something with that?

and there are holiday clubs, child minders, after school clubs etc for children whose parents work..

LA33 Mon 28-Jul-08 17:33:26

Sorry hercules1 ........ meant to say thanks for replying efore I sent that ^ and the question's really about as explained in my 1st message, how money would change if i move in with new dp......thanks again

LA33 Mon 28-Jul-08 17:38:58

Hello electricluluarella.....that's a long 1 lol thank god 4 copy n paste lol.......

Yea I kno but didn't really want 2 have to put ds in childcare for all chool holidays and that really is the only option I'd have the way things are (bit complicated)

Also.........silly question probably but if you a SAHM do your dp's give you money out of their wages to spend on yourself??? Or just 2 get food shopping etc? I'm not being greedy and expecting that just really don't have a clue what other ppl do lol x

electricluluarella Mon 28-Jul-08 17:45:57

that would be between you and your DP. there are no rules when you are a SAHM.

if you want some sort of career, then you are going to hvae to accept using childcare, that is what the vast majority of parents do who work.

the monetary situation will change, you should look at or go to the CAB for advice.

your DP earns a decent salary, so it might well affect things, but you need to get proper advice

LIZS Mon 28-Jul-08 17:47:31

Sorry but the benefits systems is not about enabling you to spend freely and enjoy a high standard of living. There are lots of people on MN on beenfits who find it hard to make ends meet without doing so and you may find it hard to get much sympathy. If you are committed to your partner and a future together you may well have to make some sacrifices, maybe only one car between you, move into his house, less spent on clothes etc - that's life I'm afraid.

Have you looked for work in a salon or gym, you may find them more flexible than you think - pt, wends and evenings perhaps. Or what about working mobile ? How old is your ds ? Would your p do some childcare during wekends and holidays ? Uless you have experience already working with kids you may find it hard to get a school based job as they are usually very competitive.

meemar Mon 28-Jul-08 17:47:39

DH doesn't really 'give' me money. What he earns is 'our' money. We don't have a joint account (just never got round to it) but I transfer money into mine from his as and when I need it.

I appreciate it may be different in your situation as your DP is not your childs father. But if he is willing to support the child as his own, and you have both agreed you would rather stay at home than put him in childcare, then I would say the same principle applies.

ShowOfHands Mon 28-Jul-08 17:47:41

My dh earns much, much less than your boyfriend, I am a sahm and we manage. We have a shared account and both hold cards for it. It's more than manageable.

electricluluarella Mon 28-Jul-08 17:51:08

you need to ensure you live within your means, and accept that tax credits etc are to make up a shortfall, rather than for fun, ifyswim.

if you are wanting anotehr baby, your costs will rise and you need to take that into account

you need to sit down and have the conversation with him about how your finances will work out, it is not really up to us!

LA33 Mon 28-Jul-08 18:26:26

thanks to you all 4 ur advice

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