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look will all you women just sort out your bloody money

(112 Posts)
Cappuccino Fri 02-May-08 11:07:11

endless threads about money

endless threads about people's dh's 'giving' them money for teh children/ spending the family money on twattage

will you just please all get it sorted DO IT MY WAY

all money that comes into house is joint money

you both have same amount of money to spend on fun - put in a separate account one for you one for him

you can buy books/ make-up/ Bacardi Breezers he can go to karate/ football matches/ buy magazines about bikes

when your fun budget is done you do not spend holiday fund/ children's clothes money/ food money/ take out loans in secret


KatyMac Fri 02-May-08 11:08:51

I do it my way

All the money that comes into the house is mine (whether it is DH's or not)

I allow him to buy occasional things - I buy whatever I want

This works wink

CountessDracula Fri 02-May-08 11:08:56

I like my way grin

Cappuccino Fri 02-May-08 11:20:33

financial rules also apply to internet porn/ sex lines/ online gambling

sarah293 Fri 02-May-08 11:23:18

Message withdrawn

moondog Fri 02-May-08 11:24:53

Capp,I'm with you on this. Utterly mystified as to why people who live together separate cash.

Mind you,I do wish my dh would stop skyping me from Bangladesh and asking

'What did you' buy in WHSmith in Bangor at 3:20 pm today?

Also ,to remember that we I longer live in Russia,or Turkey or any of the other incredibly cheap places we have lived, where £2 covered my tram fare and lunch for a week.


windygalestoday Fri 02-May-08 11:26:42

moondog that seems a v exciting life youve had where was your favourite and where are you now?

CountessDracula Fri 02-May-08 11:28:14

But I am a grown up and so is dh
We each have our own money
why bother to put it all in one place?

moondog Fri 02-May-08 11:28:50

I'm in Wales now.
This is my most favourite place of all but i loved all the others too. smile
I am orf to Bangladesh for the whole summer. Haven't been yet.

moondog Fri 02-May-08 11:29:36

It needlessly complicates things surely CD?
Heavens,life is already bureacratic and administrative bore.

windygalestoday Fri 02-May-08 11:31:08

id love to go to bngladesh my childrens godmother travelled around the world for 2 years ....she was in a bus raid in peru i think they robbers had a baby with them!! and they gave her the baby to hold s a result they let her keep her camera lol

windygalestoday Fri 02-May-08 11:31:55

have u children moony? are they looking forward to bangladesh?will u live in a house?

moondog Fri 02-May-08 11:32:42

Yes, 3 and 7.
They are very much.
Dh has (by all accounts) a very nice flat there.
I think eating airplane meals is theri fave bit thoguh.

Shitemum Fri 02-May-08 11:34:23

What if one of you earns much more than the other? What if the one who earns less also does less around the house? What if the one who earns less is perfectly capable of earning more?

I used to think that a percentage of each persons wages should be their fun money and the rest is joint/family money. That way if you want more fun money you'll just have to earn more dammit.

However in reality everything that comes in to our house is in theory joint and we both spend a bit on ourselves but don't go too over the top. It's financial chaos really.

moondog Fri 02-May-08 11:35:59

My dh earns tonnes more than me.
So what?

foxinsocks Fri 02-May-08 11:36:33

what will you do to them Capp if they don't listen to you? wink

we too have our own accounts. No joint accounts here. Far easier. You have to do what suits.

It's when men/women associate lots of control with money when all the problemos come in.

moondog Fri 02-May-08 11:39:14

My dh just plays up to stereotype of all peopel from Cardigan being tight with their money. grin
It has become a weird marital ritual.

he does all the investing and planning (and very good at it he is too) Thank Gawd,all that stuff makes me glaze over.
It's all in my name anyway as he is non dom.

ruddynorah Fri 02-May-08 11:40:12

we used to have equal income, now mine is a bit less having gone part time. so we split it into specifics. dh pays mortgage and bills and his own car. i pay nursery, food, things for dd and my car. whatever we have left of our own is our own. but dh pays for big things like new appliances etc.

CountessDracula Fri 02-May-08 11:44:27

Moondog surely it just complicates things to be moving money about left right and centre

Why can't I just pay some bills from my a/c and dh from his?
We share the mortgage
In fact we share everything

KerryMum Fri 02-May-08 11:45:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foxinsocks Fri 02-May-08 11:45:43

well, I can see the moondog logic if one partner was away a lot.

We can do our way of doing things (separate accounts) because both of us are around most of the time to share the bills/costs etc.

moondog Fri 02-May-08 11:47:05

I don't do anytihng with money even though dh away for 6 weeks at a time. I just pile it up and he deals with it when he gets home.

StrangeTown Fri 02-May-08 11:56:34

In reality it would definitely be more equitable to do Capps fluffly financial communism, at the moment I earn more than DH and end up forking out loads more for shopping, big new stuff, holidays etc whilst DH gets to stash all his in a sneaky dosh account. We both constantly look for ways to rip each other off when paying for stuff, but it keeps us amused.

wannaBe Fri 02-May-08 12:01:41

I don't understand this his money, my money thing. In fact I don't even understand this "I pay the bills/he pays the bills" thing. at all.

When we got married we ditched the separate bank accounts and everything went into the joint account. we got paid. the bills went out, by direct debit, so other than credit cards no need to be bothering with having to pay bills, the money was there, the bills got paid. Dh earned much more than I did but I don't think this entitles him to spend more/me to spend less.

Now I am sahm and still all the money is in the joint account. And still all the bills are on direct debit. And if dh wants to go out then he goes. and if I want to go out then I do so also. I am at home because I have been raising our child for the past 5 years.

I think for dh to give me an allowance would be degrading quite frankly - we are equal partners in a relationship. Money does not create equality/inequality IMO.

If we want to buy expensive things for us then we discuss it first.

And I am not likely to be earning for a while as A finding a job in school hours/that give time off for school holidays is virtually impossible and B I am hoping to go to uni next year so won't be earning for a time. but when I do that will also all get paid into the joint account.

Cappuccino Fri 02-May-08 13:45:50

cd I am not trying to complicate things and obv you are a bright girl <patronising pat on shoulder> so you have worked something fair out yourself

just sick of reading threads about f/t working dads who think their SAHM/ part-time working wife deserves less than them because they are the Breadwinners

if you have kids and a family you accept that you are earning money for a family now not earning money for you and throwing the odd few bob their way

if you're looking after kids your contribution to the household is as valuable as theirs

though Xenia would say that we should all be out there out-earning our husbands wink

and Shitemum as I said to my friend who went back to work the other day as her youngest started at school, and her dh thought they'd go back to the same old separate money situation as they had pre-kids - her career progression had been halted for the last 8 years. Of course she shouldn't be punished for that by watching him go on swanky golfing holidays while she scrounged around Boots looking for offers for £1 off nail varnish

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