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Mum left me with 80k of debt in my name

(149 Posts)
dreamingofautumn Mon 10-Aug-20 20:30:38

Hi everyone,

I’m just after a bit of advice, I’ll try and keep this brief. I’ve always had a strained relationship with my mother to the point I decided to move out when I was 21 into the local uni accommodation. During the three years of my degree I didn’t change my address details or anything to reflect where I was living and unknown to me my mother had taken out a huge number of finance agreements in my name- phone contracts, payday loans, credit cards, store cards, catalogues- you name it she took it out, totalling around 80k. When I finished my degree and had to move home after my Landlord sold the flat I was renting I discovered the mountain of debt collection letters she was hiding. I was obviously fuming and went to call the police but she played the mental health card and threatened to commit suicide (she had tried this in the past) and swore if I didn’t contact the police she’d pay it all off. We set up payment plans with the companies which she paid for about a year then promptly left my dad and I’ve never seen her since and it’s been 4 years.

I’m in a relatively good job but even so I feel like I’m barely making a dent in all this debt. The lenders have been incredibly supportive about setting up payment plans for the most part but my credit score is shot at the bottom end of very poor, I have 4 CCJ’s and countless defaults. I’m 28 and I’m stuck living at home with my dad because I can’t pass the credit check to rent let alone ever get approved for a mortgage. I was young and naive and shouldn’t have trusted my mother but I honestly don’t see a way out of this and don’t know how I’ll ever manage to rebuild my credit score sad

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

OP’s posts: |
TitianaTitsling Mon 10-Aug-20 20:34:04

Can you go to the police still? She does not give a shiny shit about you, why care about her?

BringPizza Mon 10-Aug-20 20:36:54

I would go to the police. If she is old/unwell she will get off comparatively lightly. Or you could file for bankruptcy, suck it up for a few years and then start over. Or you can lose the rest of your life to paying this off.

dreamingofautumn Mon 10-Aug-20 20:37:52

I did try right after she left my dad and stopped payments but the police said it was too difficult to prove fraud because the documentation for each account had all went to my registered address and I’d also spoken to the debt collection agencies to sort out payment plans when she’d agreed to pay it back which essentially meant I took responsibility for the debt so unless she admitted it herself they’d never be able to charge her with anything confused

OP’s posts: |
Mycatismadeofstringcheese Mon 10-Aug-20 20:38:18

She hasn’t kept her end of the bargain so police. I know legal advise is expensive but it would be worth getting some.

Mycatismadeofstringcheese Mon 10-Aug-20 20:39:13

I’m sorry I see that hasn’t worked.

Harrykanesrightsock Mon 10-Aug-20 20:39:41

You need to go to the police. The lenders clearly haven’t done adequate checks this is not your debt and you really shouldn’t be shouldering this.

Fennelandlovage Mon 10-Aug-20 20:39:48

Have you spoken to citizens advice to see if there is some way to clear the debt and start a fresh. Good luck.

ListeningQuietly Mon 10-Aug-20 20:39:51

Can you prove that you did not have access to the bank accounts where the money was paid

WineGummyBear Mon 10-Aug-20 20:39:56

OP your mother committed fraud.

You have been the victim of a financial crime.

I've got no experience of how to address this but suggest starting with citizens advice or the non-emergency police number.

Suggest gathering all the evidence that you can that it wasn't you who took out the loans o'r made the purchases.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

Money saving expert website has an excellent debt and mental health guide and the forums on there are food- they may have topics such as family members committing fraud.

This is so awful and I'm sorry you are going through this. The stress must be huge.

All the best OP.

Gizmo79 Mon 10-Aug-20 20:40:48

Do an IVA. 6 yeasts of minimum repayment then debt free.
I did it when I was in my 20’s (over what I now realise was almost no debt at all!).
Your credit file will be brand new. It seems scary thinking that it’s so many years, but time flies, and then you can start over. Good luck!

WineGummyBear Mon 10-Aug-20 20:42:30

Sorry, I've just seen your updates. Just seen most of my suggestions don't apply.

How about approaching the creditors themselves and explaining it was fraud. You don't owe them money. She does. Sorry the police were so useless.

WineGummyBear Mon 10-Aug-20 20:43:29

And what Gizmo said.

You are young and this doesn't have to be with you for life.

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 10-Aug-20 20:47:41

Looks like you've 'acknowledged the debt' by paying it. Which essentially means it's yours now [not a lawyer].

See the CAB or similar about what to do about bankruptcy or one of the less severe options.

It's shit. Sorry. thanks

Zilla1 Mon 10-Aug-20 20:49:20

That's terrible, OP. You deserve better.

The advice about trying to shed any debt will be specific to your jurisdiction so you might need to confirm where you are to be advised what is the least worst course of action.

If bridges are burnt with your DM and you can evidence your mother's actions and default, you might try to locate (private detectives can be relatively cheap if she has disappeared) and threaten her with court to get her to restart payments or even launching an action.

Given what you've said about contacting lenders, you might struggle to disavow the liabilities though you might want to have a chat with a solicitor if in England to be certain you have no redress short of some form of insolvency/IVA.

Good luck.

Teacher12345 Mon 10-Aug-20 20:52:37

I think I'd file for bankrupcy and try and start again. It will be shit for the next 5 years or so but I am guessing it will take longer to pay back these loans and then rebuild your credit.

Teacher12345 Mon 10-Aug-20 20:53:42

Have you looked into small claims court? Would this be possible?

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat Mon 10-Aug-20 20:55:18

That's sounds awful but I don't understand how someone can take out a loan in another person's name and the liability is with the injured party. Surely something must have been signed somewhere?

Thelovelyflower Mon 10-Aug-20 20:55:56

Have you heard of the CAP charity? They have helped a few friends of mine. They are a Christian charity (but open to everyone) who help (for free) people who are in debt.

Lumene Mon 10-Aug-20 20:58:31

Try citizens advice.

It also might be worth writing to the money pages of all of the big papers to see if one of them might have a go at paying it off.

Lumene Mon 10-Aug-20 20:58:49

Sorting it sorry not paying it!

EmbarrassingAdmissions Mon 10-Aug-20 21:03:52

Just to second PP's recommend for CAP - despite the name, it's non-denominational and they do some excellent work.

JinglingHellsBells Mon 10-Aug-20 21:04:38

It's identify theft resulting in fraudulent borrowing.

It doesn't matter if it was your mum who did it or Joe Bloggs.

You need to contact the police and also the banks/ companies who you owe money to.

Do not file for bankrupcy!

You are a victim and this needs to be addressed through the courts and legal system.

BananaPop2020 Mon 10-Aug-20 21:05:15

Any chance of pursuing down the Small Claims route?

Seracursoren Mon 10-Aug-20 21:06:22

Did she also open bank accounts in your name? What account did the loan get paid into?

This is awful. So horribly awful.

I agree with PP, either bankruptcy or IVA but you need professional advice to know the consequences of it all.

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