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Fair Share...

(43 Posts)
oligopoly Wed 08-Aug-18 10:01:59

Hi. I’m interested to get other parents’ opinions on this. We are looking to get a ferry over to the Isle of Wight and a hotel for the night with my mother in law. There are 4 of us in my family (Husband, wife, 2 kids) and my MIL is on her own. When it comes to splitting the cost of both the ferry and the hotel, what do you think is fair? Should it be that she pays half and we pay the other half? Or should she pay a third and my wife and I pay the other 2 thirds? I don’t think the kids should have to contribute (one is only 3 months grin).

I’m sure this must have come up with other people so let me know how you work it out in your family.

dementedpixie Wed 08-Aug-18 10:30:14

Certainly not half each. Maybe a third for mil, although should she be subsidising your 2 kids? How many rooms are involved? Do kids travel free on the ferry?
She pays her own ferry fare and a room at the hotel and you pay for the ferry fare for your family and the hotel room you need. Basically pay for your own stuff I think

Babyroobs Wed 08-Aug-18 10:49:01

Is the price per person for the ferry ? If so then surely she just pays for her ticket and her hotel room assuming she is having her own room ?

oligopoly Wed 08-Aug-18 10:49:41

Hotel will have 3 rooms. My 4 year old will be in the third room. Ferry is a car ticket - you pay by car and we're taking MIL in the one car.

afrikat Wed 08-Aug-18 10:53:44

Personally I wouldn't charge her for the ferry as the price would be the same either way. She should pay for one room. You should pay for the other two.

dementedpixie Wed 08-Aug-18 10:55:49

Just her room then. You'd pay the same for the car whether she was there or not

Babyroobs Wed 08-Aug-18 10:56:55

If the ferry is a car ticket then I personally wouldn't charge her anything for that. If your 4 year old is sharing a room with your mil then split the cost of that.

oligopoly Wed 08-Aug-18 10:58:27

I just can't work out what's right. It's not really a question of the money - just want to be fair though. Interesting that 2 of you wouldn't consider a contribution towards the ferry though.

Aprilshowersinaugust Wed 08-Aug-18 11:00:27

Not sure of a 4 yo being in own room....

oligopoly Wed 08-Aug-18 11:03:14

Sorry - it's an air bnb, not hotel so no worry about him being in own room

Dadsbigsausages Wed 08-Aug-18 11:03:13

Mil on the ferry costs you nothing, so don't ask for anything there.

If your 4 year old is sharing with Mil maybe ask for half the cost of the room. If the 4 year old can go into one of the other rooms then you are asking a favour for mil to watch them in her room so can't ask her to fully pay for the room. If that makes sense grin

dementedpixie Wed 08-Aug-18 11:04:34

Maybe just a token contribution towards the ferry then. Will the 4 year old really be in a room by themself?

oligopoly Wed 08-Aug-18 11:06:01

Flip it around though, dadsbigsausages - if your son/daughter asked you to go away for the night, you'd want to contribute towards ferry surely? The question is how much if so.

dementedpixie Wed 08-Aug-18 11:06:14

Is it
1 room- husband, wife, baby
1 room - mil
1 room - 4 year old

dementedpixie Wed 08-Aug-18 11:06:35

How much is the ferry?

dementedpixie Wed 08-Aug-18 11:07:04

If you asked her to go then surely you pay?

C0untDucku1a Wed 08-Aug-18 11:09:15

Ah new info. You invited her?! And your costs wouldnt change if you didnt take her? Then you are a cf for even thinking of what to chare her!

DannyDogg Wed 08-Aug-18 11:09:16

If you invited her then you pay but if not then 1/3 Airbnb for room, no charge for ferry

keely79 Wed 08-Aug-18 11:09:41

We would pay for her. If she insisted on contributing, would suggest that she could take us out for dinner one night or something like that.

reallybadidea Wed 08-Aug-18 11:11:29

Goodness you're tight. This is your mother. I can't believe you're considering charging her anything. Maybe a contribution for one of the rooms but not the ferry and not the other rooms. Why shouldn't you pay for your children? If you don't then your mum will by default.

Unless there's some massive backstory then you're being vvvvv unreasonable.

oligopoly Wed 08-Aug-18 11:15:35

OK overwhelming answer is no charge on the ferry and maybe ask for a contribution towards her room. Money is very tight for us (not her), times are very hard - just want to be reasonable.

Babyroobs Wed 08-Aug-18 11:15:54

You are putting a 4 year old in a room on their own in a hotel? Are they adjoining rooms ??

Myview2 Wed 08-Aug-18 11:16:07

I agree, no charge for the ferry but she pays for her own accommodation is fairest. I usually find that those invited along pick up the cost of a coffee, meal or snacks and it all works out there or thereabouts anyway.

Sunnybeachbabe Wed 08-Aug-18 11:16:58

I wouldn't charge her for the ferry if you would be going anyway. I'd only charge if you were going specifically so she could attend an event or see family.
Maybe accept a small contribution for petrol if offered.
Then she just pays for her own room.

dementedpixie Wed 08-Aug-18 11:17:42

If money is tight why are you going away and booking an extra room for a 4 year old? Can the 4 of you not share 1 room and mil have a 2nd room

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