We have a joint account for bills, car tax and insurance, groceries and anything thats "household" (dinners out are included in this cos it benefits both of us).
Then we each have our own private current accounts. Most of our salaries proportional to income goes in the joint account but we each keep aside the remainder for our private account. Presents come out of that account so the other person has no visibility of the cost.
I prefer it to a "one pot" system cos you have a bit of privacy for your silly treats.
Agreed. It's SO much nicer getting anything as a present than for yourself. I suppose it's the same reasoning that some people wrap stuff like toothpaste and underwear as stocking presents round Christmas time for their kids even though they'd have bought them anyway.
I just buy things. Although we share money and DH pays in more than I do, he wouldn't necessarily buy those things for himself. And at birthdays and Christmas we have a rule that we can look at the bank statement but we can't look at the individual purchases
We just buy them for each other. Big surprise things we put it on the credit card so the other person doesn't see it until afterwards.
But if buying treats with money your wife has earned bothers you, then you could do stuff as a treat; breakfast in bed, a nice foot massage, running a lovely bubble bath and bringing her a glass of wine are all treats.
We have shared money and generally if we want to buy each other something we transfer money out the joint account and buy it (transfer so you can't see what shop etc so it stays a surprise not that dp ever looks at the joint account) or take it out of our wage before we put it in the joint account generally!