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DH wants to retire at 55

(66 Posts)
peppajay Sat 13-May-17 09:46:28

My DH is very money savvy. Too much really as he won't spend it. His dream has always been to retire at 60 but now we have come in to a bit of money he has decided he will retire at 55. We very rarely enjoy a meal out it is only brewers fayre or carvery. He refuses to go to the cinema or theatre as it costs too much. He doesn't enjoy nice things just walking and DIY. His dream when he retires is just to be able to walk, swim and potter about. He says saving for retirement is far more important than squandering it on days out and clothes. I would love to live a little now go to the theatre and see a show followed by a nice meal or take the kids out to a theme park for the day, he has never owned a credit card or had a loan he just lives so carefully. Is he just being sensible or is this really boring???

ecuse Sat 13-May-17 13:51:05

Well, one person's sensible is another person's boring, isnt it? Neither's wrong but given in a couple (assuming you share finances) one person's spending habit inevitably affect the other's, I guess it would be a bit tricky to be married to someone whose views dont align with yours on things like this.

BTW since you ask, I would find that boring and joyless, but I'm a bit shit with money grin.

SlipperyLizard Sat 13-May-17 14:18:10

How old is he? Is the plan a realistic one?

Retiring at 55 could mean 40 years of retirement - sounds like he would love a frugal life, but that is still a lot of money needed.

Is he expecting you to retire at the same age? Is that what you want?

Sounds like uou have different attitudes to money - why does his win?

Oakmaiden Sat 13-May-17 14:21:18

Some of it is very sensible (living within your means, planning for retirement etc). But my immediate reaction is - what if he dies at 54? All that putting off life today so he can live it later wasted. I think you have to make the most of life while you have it as you never know what is going to happen. Making some plans is sensible, of course, but totally denying yourself now when it really isn't necessary is just a bit stupid, in my opinion.

Asmoto Sat 13-May-17 14:22:55

When do you plan to retire, OP?

tribpot Sat 13-May-17 14:25:16

Do you ever go on holiday?

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets Sat 13-May-17 14:42:59

Well by his own words, as he's been 'saving for retirement' you'll be able to do all those lovely things.
Otherwise he's just saving and saving for nothing.
And what do you mean "he's come into a sum of money"?
Surely you both have? Or have I misread it?

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets Sat 13-May-17 14:43:39

I see it now, you both have, so surely you both retire 2.5 years early?

Rareshopkins Sat 13-May-17 14:53:00

What age are your children? I could probably retire at 55 if I never took my kids on holidays or out for the day, but what's the bloody point of that?

PossumInAPearTree Sat 13-May-17 14:58:07

My dad died a week before he retired. He would have had a great, 30k a year pension. He saw none of it.

I now try and enjoy myself but not go crazy. I have no idea if I will ever get to retire and neither does anyone else.

kath6144 Sat 13-May-17 15:25:55

Op, it sounds as if your DH is mean as well as savvy. Do you have joint access to the money, is the money he has come into regarded as joint?

Can you spend freely regardless of his attitude?

We are reasonably savvy, careful and with a recent windfall/inheritence will hopefully be able to retire at 60 - but the difference is we also enjoy life.

Got a long haul holiday booked this summer, just about to upgrade my car then DHs, bought DS a run around when he passed, will do similar for DD. We eat out whenever we want (within reason for weight reasons!) have cinema and theatre trips and hotel breaks. We both bought decent road bikes last year, to get more into cycling.

Our recent windfalls came from my inheritence and a shares windfall through my employer. It is all joint money as far as I am concerned,

pitterpatterrain Sat 13-May-17 15:29:28

So my DM died at 52. That shapes my perspective, life is short

Yes I agree with savvy financial planning but there must be a balance

Parker231 Sat 13-May-17 15:31:35

There is nothing to stop you going to the threatre, a theme park or a nice meal out. You also don't need to retire when he does - you could carry on working if you wanted the additional income, liked your job, still in good health. Perhaps you the time now to think about what yyou want to do in your retirement - travel to new places, take up a hobby, gym classes etc

Wecks Sat 13-May-17 15:34:22

DH retired at 57 when DC were in primary schoolgrin. However we were financially secure and I worked part time. He had loads of time for the DC when they needed it, did all the ferrying about when they were teens. But he is never tight with money.

kath6144 Sat 13-May-17 15:51:29

Yes, I had an Auntie die at 52, another at 62, just 4yrs after her DH, who she spent her adult life looking after, as he was completely disabled with MS.

A cousin died 2yrs ago, in his 60s, bachelor. He left his estate to cousins children, as most cousins were financially secure. My DC were beneficiaries, with a no of others. His probate details showed over 1million in basic bank accounts. He had scruffy clothes, a week away in Europe each year with friends, an old-ish car. The sad thing is, he left a decent % to a cousins DD on his mums side in Canada - but he never visited her - despite telling other relatives he woudl love to go. Why ever not, he had the means. He could have travelled all over Canada for weeks with the money he had. And he had the time, he had not worked for a few years, after being made redundant.

Instead it has all gone to relatives, some of whom barely knew him.

Dozer Sat 13-May-17 15:54:38

Sounds dull.

Do you share money?

Can you do the things you fancy sometimes, with family or friends if he won't?

IamSlave Sat 13-May-17 17:17:01

I think this is why its best to divide money for various things.

Your DH should be putting money into retirement saving for sure but I am sure he could put less in each month and free up some money for the here and now?

You are surely a couple and making you live like this seems cruel to me. I am sure you can come to a compromise whereby he feels secure but you can live more how you want too!

Moussemoose Sat 13-May-17 17:22:39

On the other hand I believe retirement killed my dad. He retired early, didn't have a hobby or much money, got bored and gave up.

LightYears Sat 13-May-17 17:51:00

I'm all for being careful but it sounds like he's taking it too far. Can't blame him for wanting to retire early though. Would he not compromise at all with regards to days out etc.

mumblechum0 Sat 13-May-17 17:58:50

My dh retired last month at 55.

When he said he was going to pack it all in I was a bit concerned, as I was not sure whether we could manage (we've always had compleely separate finances) but he's been quite sensible, and he has enough stashed away for us to live comfortably (around the £40k per annum mark) until we both pop off.

We cleared our mortgage when we were in our late 40s and that was v v tough, but once that was out of the way we've had a very comfortable lifestyle with lots of eating out, exotic hols etc. There won't be so many trips to the Maldives or California now as his income has gone down by about 80% or something but that's OK because neither of us are anywhere near as stressed so we're not as desperate for holidays.

It also helps that DH retired shortly after DS had graduated and he (DS) has now got a good career in the City so we don't have to worry about supporting him. If your children are likely to be still dependent if your DH retires at 55, that's likely to lead to a lot of resentment I think, if they can't have a nice lifestyle while they're still at home.

It does sound like your dh is living a bit too much in the future, though, it's all very well aiming to retire at 55, but not at the expense of having a nice life now.

jelliebelly Sat 13-May-17 18:19:46

How old are your children? I think it sounds boring tbh and your kids potentially won't thank him for it either - what exactly is he saving for? If he dies at 56 it really wouldn't be worth it and if he lives till he's 95 then it really will be boring - what fun things do you go together that don't cost anything g?

lljkk Sat 13-May-17 18:42:14

retire at 55. Mmmmm... the "waiting around to die" plan. DH's step-dad has done something similar.

I dunno. Not really a thread only about finances, is it? Do you want him underfoot at home 24/7?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Sat 13-May-17 18:45:43

Do you work OP? When do you want to retire?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Sat 13-May-17 18:46:29

Agree lijkk it's about a lot more than money here.

peppajay Sat 13-May-17 21:46:36

His dad died at 65 and never got to enjoy his retirement so I think this has a big bearing on his decision. Out kids are 10 and 9. I say he came into money as the money was left to us by his great aunt. I would love a new kitchen or a nice summer holiday but he says we need that money for the future. He wants 10 years being able to not work whikst he is still fit and healthy as he worries that come 65 u are too old to do anything. He has always been extra careful with money as his parents wasted it and were in lots of debt he swore he wouldn't be like them. He started saving for his own flat at 14 and at 19 bought his first flat and has always made on property since then BUT he has never spent money on eating out or days out that cost money hence why he enjoys walking and sea swimming as they are free. He has the cheapest phone possible and a really ordinary car to just get from a to b. All my previous boyfriends had been really flash with their money and his lack of flashness and down to earthness is what drew me to him in the first place but just seems to be his motto is always save for the future and never live for now!!

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