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Relatives in debt with bankruptcy history

(10 Posts)
Kentishnomad Sun 02-Apr-17 16:29:03

I've just discovered that a very close relative seems to be in severe financial problems. We had to enter their house due to a family emergency, found a lot of evidence relating to current debt repayment - this caused us do do a bit of digging and has unearthed a declaration of bankruptcy over 17 years ago, and also a notice of "final dividend" just last year (the note says that the person concerned was discharaged from the proceedings).

I don't understand enough about all this to know whether it is normal for a final dividend to be made 17 years later - or whether there could have been further issues resulting in a bankruptcy restriction order which is why this has been ongoing till so recently . Can anyone help with that query?

Second, I'd be grateful for any advice on how to tackle this with the relative as they are very much in denial that there are any problems... Its a married couple and from what I can see one was declared bankrupt, and the current debts are in the name of the spouse.

Ta1kinPeace Sun 02-Apr-17 20:10:46

lead a horse to water

they have to want to sort it out

you have to stay clear


sooperdooper Sun 02-Apr-17 20:13:36

Unless you're in a position to pay off the debts for them it's none of your business & I'm sure they'd be utterly mortified you'd been snooping around in their finances

MrsMoastyToasty Sun 02-Apr-17 20:15:01

Point them in the direction of the local CAB.

Kentishnomad Sat 08-Apr-17 08:12:42

Absolutely agree it is none of our business, & that they need to want to sort it out in order to make progress. however its a shame that we would have to wait for them to be made homeless (or similar) in order for it to come to light - we know they have lied about whether they own their house (to the occupational health professional who was looking at making adjustments). The debt repayment cards were by the phone and the electric has been changed to a prepay meter so it was fairly obvious there were issues regardless of what is subsequently available online for all to see... will have to sit tight and wait and hope...

JennyOnAPlate Sat 08-Apr-17 08:14:09

You went into their house and started digging into their personal affairs? Wow.

Fairylea Sat 08-Apr-17 08:16:52

Unless this is a very close relative with diminished understanding you are being very unreasonable to go through their things...! shock

If you are seriously concerned about their ability to understand the consequences and you think they need help to do so (as in cases of dementia etc) then you need to speak to their doctor. Otherwise you need to leave them to it.

user1491630259 Sat 08-Apr-17 08:19:44

The people you speak of haven't asked for your aid
They just have to sleep in the bed they have made
If they want to change they'll get some help then
But it's hard to say how and it's hard to say when

Sometimes people have to hit rock-bottom first
So try to keep out and keep your lips pursed
Sometimes trying to help can backfire quite badly
People won't always be grateful, quite sadly

RayofFuckingSunshine Sat 08-Apr-17 09:34:37

You went through someone's personal paperwork? MASSIVE overstepping of boundaries there. Keep your damned nose out of other people's business.

P1nkP0ppy Sat 08-Apr-17 09:41:25

Well out of order and gross invasion of their privacy.
I suspect they didn't want anyone to know about it - so you post on a public forum about something that's none of your bloody business op.

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