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ex partner (unmarried) living in my house running up utility debts in my name...complex financial situation...where do i

(7 Posts)
berrycott Sat 11-Feb-17 20:13:49

Hi all. Looking for some advice regards utility bills and what im currently liable for. I'll try not to drone on to much, but heres the background story.....

I lived with my ex partner for 10 years, when i moved in with him he told me he owned the house outright (via money from a family tie). A little while later I found out that whilst that was true, he owed half the money he'd used to pay for the house (around £35,000) to his sister. Well, to cut a long story short, we both paid back the money to his sister over a period of three years. Now, he always told me he wasn't the marrying type, so when he offered to 'gift' the house to me, putting across that it would give me an equal part of our relationship, I was all for it. Not long after this, we bought a second house outright, a small cheap terrace, with some money we came into. Once again, this house was solely in my name, meaning in effect I owned all property. I didnt question why it was to be that way at the time, I just appreciated that we had enough trust in the relationship to do this......
I should now mention that during our time together I paid all utilities, all in my name solely. And far from being good with money, what id assumed from him being a 20-something homeowner when i met him, that was far from the truth. He would get away with paying anything he could, to the extent that baliffs turned up to the home more than once for things he hadnt paid for. (yet he was still frivolous with money).
well....then in late 2013 we split up, an amicable decision. I moved out to the terrace, and he remained in the home. The understanding was that he would keep the home we had lived in, and i would keep the terrace. I took nothing with me except a mattress, a sofa, and my personal belongings. He kept everything else. I was trying avoid confrontation over who should get what even though it meant i had to start again from scratch-for months-i didnt even have a fridge or a cooker! And because I'd never had to take a mortgage or loans I had no credit options open to me. Call me stupid but during all this i didn't even think to contact the utilities at my previous address to take me name off the accounts....
Fast forward to December 2013. Ive been speaking to his ex girlfriend, who still lives with him, and during a meeting with her she brings me a letter, addressed to me but at my old address, from Eon. Asking for payment of a balance of £190. At this stage i thought it was a mistake, so messaged her to inform her their electricity bill was still in my name. Wasnt worried at this stage. Then, I recieve a 2nd letter from Eon at my home, threatening legal action if i don't let them in to my old address (which i still officially own as i simply dont have the money to gift it back to him-solicitors costs and tax i'd have to pay). I dont have a key, so i rang them for clarification as to what was going on. I was told that the £190 was merely a standing charge for a house they thought was empty. Once they get a meter reading god knows how much im going to owe. I explained that it was my ex partner, not me, living at the address. i dont have a tenancy agreement with him she explained the bill lies with me, unless i can get him to ring them and accept liability for the period 2013 to present. Turns out they've been billing me at my old address for years but my post was never forwarded to me. I can only assume hes been chucking my post and his ex girlfriend innocently forwarded on the one item to me without his knowledge....
Yesterday i contacted him and explained the situation, putting it in no uncertain terms that it is not my responsibility-its his and who ever else he has living at the house (i know his ex girlfriend still lives there as well as various friends from time to time). He informed me that he would ring to accept responsibility this morning.
Today he has messaged me to say that he has accepted responsibility, but...and i knew there would be a but... Eon need a tenancy agreement backdated to 2013 in order to take my name from the account. Only trouble is he wants me to do it in his friends name. Alarm bells are ringing, im pretty sure it could be seen as fraudulent activity on my part for signing a tenancy agreement with a bloke ive never met. But i'll be honest and say part of me thought about doing it just to get them off my back. If i did do that then obviously his name would remain out of it and the bill will come back to haunt me at some stage im sure. I cant believe what hes asking me to do. Now im thinking about telling him that i will only sign a tenancy agreement with his name on but ive got a strong feeling he will refuse. My partner tells me not to worry as i can always sell the house he's living in or take a loan against it, but i dont want it to come to that as i consider the house his if that makes sense. BTW, the other utilities in my name there are water and gas and ive got a horrible feeling he wont have paid them either. Im too scared to find out. Ive got bills of my own, i work full time and im on anti anxiety meds from the doctor due to panic attacks and insomnia (partly to do with all this) Any advice appreciated. Many thanks x

RortyCrankle Sat 11-Feb-17 20:22:29

That all sounds horrendous and a huge mess. I have no advice except to suggest that you go to CAB to ask for their help in untangling it all, as soon as possible.

In the meantime hopefully someone more knowledgeable can help you on here.

Good luck.

berrycott Sat 11-Feb-17 20:55:41

typo above, meant to say fast forward to December 2016... Thanks RortyCrankle, i hope so too!

JoJoSM2 Sat 11-Feb-17 23:08:27

Don't blame it all on him - you messed up big time. It is your responsibility to look after property and bills in your name. You should seek professional advice to see if there's anything you can do other than pay it.

InTheKitchenAtParties Sat 11-Feb-17 23:16:14

Don't blame it on him???????? confused
He's an adult and he didn't realise he had to pay for utilities which he was using???

JoJoSM2 Sun 12-Feb-17 08:45:44

In The Kitchen at Parties, morally yes, he should have paid if he was living in the property. But legally it's the poster's responsibility to look after her contractual obligations. Besides, I think there is a lot more to the story - she'd been gifted a lot of property by the ex - looks like a scam with him trying to not have his name on title deeds. Perhaps he wanted to spite her now or just get a bit of money back. She's now owns 2 properties that he paid for most of... Poster, I'd just recommend not going down the route of producing a fraudulent tenancy agreement backdated to 2013. It can only get you in more trouble.

abbsisspartacus Sun 12-Feb-17 08:48:54

I would move to evict him and sell the house as it was in my name clear the debts and start fresh

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