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CSA/CMS advice please

(26 Posts)
Teepish Wed 08-Feb-17 16:48:43

The CMS has calculated that H should be paying around £160 per month in maintenance - he has disputed this since late last year and said he used their online calculater which said he should pay £76 per month. He wants me to agree to a Family Based Arrangement for that amount. He has sent them his wage slips etc.
What on earth do I do, what on earth do I accept. He is a notorious liar.

Teepish Wed 08-Feb-17 16:56:27


redsky21 Wed 08-Feb-17 17:06:20

I would leave it to the CMS to decide, I don't think you should accept what he has decided he should pay. If they are going by his wage slips then presumably they have the correct calculation? There are steps they can take to make him pay the correct amount.

redsky21 Wed 08-Feb-17 17:09:18

If he is refusing to pay then you can ask for collect and pay. They will usually put you on direct pay to begin with but you can inform them each time he doesn't make the correct payment.

Teepish Wed 08-Feb-17 17:10:28

I just don't know how he has calculated that amount. I actually appealed it and they informed there is "insufficient evidence" to suggest it was calculated incorrectly in the first place. Ive let him off with 4 months of arrears.
I've been a fool, haven't I.
Currently on Direct Pay agreement and they have told me to find back if I feel Collect and pay is more suitable.

Teepish Wed 08-Feb-17 17:16:52

..I feel bad for letting the cms "fleece " him... Im wrong, aren't isad

Teepish Wed 08-Feb-17 17:18:06

Also, he is emotionally abusive and given me anxiety on and off for months. I think im scared of his reaction as well. Thought I'd moved on from that tbh.

Teepish Wed 08-Feb-17 18:01:35

Being indecisive on this is affecting me massively, I've just been going through the motions .

PartyPolitics Wed 08-Feb-17 18:05:55

Honestly, just go collect and pay. No need to discuss with him. If he's abusive collect and pay will be your best option. Both amounts are ridiculous, he must be on a very low salary.

Teepish Wed 08-Feb-17 18:16:26

He is now. I have honestly been believing that £160 is high.

redsky21 Wed 08-Feb-17 20:24:48

You haven't been a fool, of course not. But £160 is really not high, there is no reason at all for you to feel guilty.
Honestly, don't even enter into discussion with him about it. Let the CMS tell him what he needs to pay and if he doesn't like it he can deal with them. Stick to the direct pay agreement and let them know as soon as he misses a payment/doesn't pay the full amount.

Penfold007 Wed 08-Feb-17 20:29:10

Is £76 a month enough of a contribution towards bring your child/ren up? I'd let the CMS deal with it, they have seen his pay slips and have access to HMRC records.

Teepish Wed 08-Feb-17 20:57:05

He won't pay at all, he keeps putting a Family Agreement form in dd's school bag when I pick her up with his details filled in, he wants me to add my bank details, sign it and start paying me £76, as he doesn't trust me without having me sign something?!
I'm going to have to ring them and say I need Collect and Pay.
He took his gf on holiday recently. He is always wearing new clothes and buying dd all sorts (endless new clothes, toys)

redsky21 Wed 08-Feb-17 22:20:21

In that case I would definitely ask for collect and pay. They have told him what he needs to pay and he's not paying it - he doesn't get to just decide to pay less. Completely ignore any rubbish he puts in the school bag, get back in touch with CMS and tell them he hasn't been making payments.

Teepish Wed 08-Feb-17 22:36:44

I will.

EnormousTiger Thu 09-Feb-17 16:56:03

yes, leave it to the CMA although the downside is they take a cut, don't they which is why many parents avoid using them.

kittybiscuits Thu 09-Feb-17 16:59:08

Just tell them no family based arrangement ever. Ask them when you will get your arrears and tell them that unfortunately it's collect and pay time. This is exactly what they are there for, to deal with pathetic arseholes like this.

Teepish Thu 09-Feb-17 19:56:22

I'm going to ring them tomorrow and take the plunge with collect and pay.
Im not even bothered about the percentage they take off, he needs to start taking the responsibility seriously.
He has tried to have this completely on his terms and make me think I am being massively unreasonable. Im just so fed up of him, didn't realise but I've put my life on hold while being so indecisive and letting him have his way.

kittybiscuits Thu 09-Feb-17 20:27:59

It's only 4% they take from you. He pays an extra 20%. What a berk.

Teepish Sat 11-Feb-17 17:35:21

I went on the phone to a lovely, helpful lady the other morning, she understood the situation completely and tried getting in touch with him. They haven't managed so far, unsurprisingly, so she has sent off a letter explaining that he has until the end of the month. Haven't had a reaction from him as yet.

kittybiscuits Sat 11-Feb-17 18:39:57

Glad you had a good experience. Just put it to the back of your mind as far as possible and let them sort it out brew

Teepish Sat 11-Feb-17 18:58:05

Cheers kitty.brew

kittybiscuits Sat 11-Feb-17 18:59:11

I can tell CMS know mine is a wanker wink

Teepish Sat 11-Feb-17 20:46:28

I just don't understand the mindset of these men kitty, they're like children themselves.

kittybiscuits Sat 11-Feb-17 22:45:41

They just have a small turd in the part of the brain where the conscience is supposed to be.

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