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Don't know who to ask. Hanging on by my fingertips :(

(43 Posts)
LanaDelRay01 Mon 02-Jan-17 20:14:51

Hi I know this is probably in the wrong place but I couldn't see anywhere specific to my question.
Anyway, sorry if I go on. I dont know what to do anymore sad
Ive had my benefits stopped (ESA, pip, child benefit and child tax credits) as someone reported me for working when I haven't worked in 2 years. Im now under investigation with no end date. I have stage 2 COPD and Fibro so I can't work right now even if I tried.
Anyway, does anyone know if churches do food donations without a referral? I've literally been trying to get hold of someone at the CAB, doctors appointment, health visitor, anyone who can refer me to a food bank since just before Christmas and I can't get hold of anyone e to help. I even went to my local police station to see if they can help but was turned away because they couldn't get hold of anyone at social services.
I have a 3 year old and I've got without food for 4 days just to make sure she has food. It's been toast and jam or cereal for breakfast, cheese or ham sandwich for lunch and soup and bread for dinner for her and I'm so worried that she's loosing weight or is becoming Ill because of me. Shes just started with a cold and I can't help but feel guilty that its all my fault.
I really don't know what to do. I'm so desperate that I'm actually willing to go to the shop and steal some food. I've never felt so low and lost in my life. I'm trying so hard to keep it together but I don't think I can carry on doing it much longer.
I've not seen my family in 5 odd years because we fell out and I've even asked my friends for help, I'd even pay them back once my benefits get started again, but none of them can help. Which I understand as it's an expensive time of year for everyone.
Anyway, I'm trying to find if churches do food donations without a referral but I can't find much online.
Sorry for the long post, but thank you for reading x

WeirdnessOfDoom Mon 02-Jan-17 23:21:42

Go to the church,ask anybody,tap anybody's door,even neighbours for food.Don't be ashamed,you and your child need food.It's not your fault.Good luck.

anyname123 Tue 03-Jan-17 10:02:40

Where are you? There are loads of places to get a free meal in most cities, let us help you to find one

IrnBruTortie Tue 03-Jan-17 10:04:21

My church would help without any sort of referral. Where are you (DM if you'd prefer) and I can see if I can find a link.

deai Tue 03-Jan-17 10:09:59

Make an emergency gp appointment for today and see if they can help/they could maybe contact social services who may be able to help? You have a 3 year old so surely someone will help with some food.
Where abouts are you, someone might know what help there is near by etc

TabithaBethia Tue 03-Jan-17 10:18:34

I think it's shocking that your benefits are stopped BEFORE an investigation is completed angry.

Anyway, a little bump for your thread OP. If you can come back and say what city you are near I think someone will point you to the right place for assistance. Good luck x

Gobbolinothewitchscat Tue 03-Jan-17 10:32:07

The GP can give out food bank vouchers.

My DH is a dentist and at one practice, he can also prove them.

Health visitor can also assist.

Just book an emergency app at the docs or dentist (dentist less likely but if you are registered at a practice in a more exempt area, they may do so). I absolutely know that DH would rather have another emergency app for this than have you both be hungry.

lovelearning Tue 03-Jan-17 10:34:41

My church would help

I trust that any church would


Sikhs feed the poor

Muslims are also obliged to feed the poor

If you live close to any Muslim or Sikh shopkeepers or restauranteurs

Tell them that you and your daughter are hungry

They'll give you food

Gobbolinothewitchscat Tue 03-Jan-17 10:36:59

I cannot understand why child benefit would be stopped. Yes - it is essentially means tested but lots of people claim it and pay it back via their tax return so there is absolutely no reason why it should have been stopped. Outrageous

Can I also suggest you email your local MP (Google who is my MP and a website will come up that you can check and get contact details). Mark it urgent - most will help very quickly

DH is actually off today and has asked is there a local Sikh temple near you? They provide a free meal each day to anyone - whatever the religion
These kind souls kept one of his patients alive basically for about a week before he was able to get a food bank voucher.

Honestly, it's shaming to read threads like this

Babyroobs Tue 03-Jan-17 13:23:51

Social services should be contactable today, even over the Christmas period there should have been an emergency number. They should not let a child go hungry. or could you try contacting your health visitor? I agree with pp, there is no reason your child benefit would stop, are you certain this has stopped?

lovelearning Tue 03-Jan-17 17:24:14


Have you eaten today?

SVJAA Tue 03-Jan-17 17:27:40

I second going to your local church, try the vicar/minister. My dad is a minister and never ever turns anyone away, in fact he has food parcels made up ready for people coming to the door. Contact CAB when you can, and see if they can refer you to a food bank too and offer any other help.

thewideeyedpea Tue 03-Jan-17 17:30:33

Have you managed to get any help?
Wish I could do more, it's absolutely shocking they have stopped your benefits and you have a small child. Thinking of you flowers

delilahbucket Tue 03-Jan-17 18:20:52

I smell a rat. Benefits are not stopped while an investigation takes place and child benefit is only at risk if you have been convicted of two or more accounts of benefit fraud, and even then the decision to stop it isn't made lightly.

LanaDelRay01 Tue 03-Jan-17 21:13:23

Sorry for the late reply. Delilahbucket, I'm no rat I can assure you. I've not asked once for anyone here to give me anything and I've had nobody offer anything to me either. I've never even been in trouble with the police let alone benefit fraud and all my benefits have been stopped. Even the letter they send out explains that your benefits can be stopped while they investigate. I'm not asking anyone to feed me or give me money, all I'm asking is if I can go to a church without a referral. I've had a horrendous day with the little one being ill, so thank you for your kind comment.
You've no idea how guilty and anxious and depressed I feel. I'm literally at the point where I don't even want to wake up tomorrow morning. I'm a horrible mother who can't even provide for my kid, with illnesses people think are fake and "in my head". All I want to do is work, have a nice little job so I don't feel like a failure anymore.
Sorry for the downer but I'm so tired of everything. I just want to give up

SaltySeaBird Tue 03-Jan-17 21:16:29

Where in the country are you? If you let us know we can find you somewhere local to you where you can get help.

LanaDelRay01 Tue 03-Jan-17 21:18:27

Sorry, I'm in North Wales.

LanaDelRay01 Tue 03-Jan-17 21:20:02

Near Colwyn Bay. I don't know if my friends are on here so I'm worried to put my actual location, sorry. I'm really sorry x

Ilovecaindingle Tue 03-Jan-17 21:24:58

Just to clarify my cb was stopped once with no warning when my ex decided to try and be clever and claim for our ds when I already was. I had no 'black marks' to my name either.
I hope you get sorted soon. .

wheresthewine36 Tue 03-Jan-17 21:25:43

delilah, benefits are routinely suspended whilst claimants are under investigation. This woman us going through enough without accusations if dishonesty.
Lana, you are not a terrible mother, you are doing your best for your daughter and there IS help available. Let us know what area you are in so we can direct you to available help.x

JennyHolzersGhost Tue 03-Jan-17 21:27:53

Hi Lana, this is horrendous for you, so sorry to hear it. Can you contact the local CAB? Your local food bank says it will take CAB references:

It also says it will take benefit office references. Will the benefits office refer you ?

SaltySeaBird Tue 03-Jan-17 21:29:39

I'm sorry but I don't know Wales and it isn't looking local enough for me to help directly.

I would try and get an urgent GP appointment tomorrow as well as going to your nearest churches to ask them direct.

BillyJoel Tue 03-Jan-17 21:30:26

Lana, don't give up . You need to be strong right now. You can do the c Sept bit later once you are c feed again. Get all your strength together and be c brave x enough to ask for help. If you meet you, you would be glad of a chance to help. And so will people be glad to help you. Be brave for just the next 48 hours while you get your plan sorted. You will do it because you have to for your daughter. She needs you to do this because she can't. And that includes feeding yourself so you can stay well enough for her.

wheresthewine36 Tue 03-Jan-17 21:58:03

It may be worth trying this church, they are affiliated with a local food bank. Take the letter from the Benefits agency with you.
Call your GP surgery first thing tomorrow and ask them for an emergency appointment. They will be able to refer you to the food bank.
Don't let these bastards break you down - you are entitled to the benefits you should be receiving and they WILL be reinstated. In the meantime, there is help out there.xx

ilovewelshrarebit123 Tue 03-Jan-17 22:29:45

Lana - I'm in North Wales, a 30 minute drive from you. Can I help at all? PM please

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