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AIBU to want my DH to buck his ideas up?

(7 Posts)
michelle0922 Fri 25-Nov-16 17:23:26

Advance warning....This will be a bit of a rant as I don't feel like I've got anyone I can talk to. I can't talk to my family about money worries or lot of my friends.

My DH went self employed 3 years ago and it has been a constant worry to get bills paid and keep on top of things. His work picks up for a bit but then drops off again. We've never had a bill unpaid as I've usually managed to juggle things around or food shop with a credit card to get by. He's not had as much work as normal since sept although he's always saying I shouldn't worry as this contract or that project is about to start. He's usually right (annoyingly) and things tick over. Today I rang him on my lunch break and he told me he doesn't have the £148 for his car loan payment next week. I went effing mad and no he sas I've made him cross. I'm fed up with the pressure to keep our heads above water. I've already told him if he didn't have me working he'd have to get a full time job. If it wasn't for tax credits and child benefit we'd be screwed. I ask him for £500 a month towards house and bills and I've only had the full amount about 3 times in three years He usually contributes about 350 sometimes less. I understand he's work is quiet but if I try to bring up being proactive I feel fobbed off God forbid I should suggest he goes back to working in an employed job. If he's not at work he is playing ps4 and does the bare min round the house like. feel like he's taking the pi&* out of me. Anyone been here. Just want someone to tell me I'm not being a complete cow!

Dingarees Fri 25-Nov-16 17:30:01

You're not being a complete cow.
He is taking the piss out of you.
This is not fair on you at all. If he was actively trying to find more work, or doing his share of housework then I would have a bit more sympathy.
Why is he comfortable with you being under so much pressure financially?
He sounds lazy and as though he takes you for granted. I would be telling him you need minimum £500 a month (if that's what you agreed to) and if he doesn't have enough work doing what he's doing he needs to get another job. I'd go mad of this were my DH don't let him guilt you or fob you off. He sitting on his arse playing PS4 and asking you for money for his car loan? What planet is he on?

mumonashoestring Fri 25-Nov-16 17:32:01

Jesus, I would absolutely not be okay with that. 3 years of being just about okay? He either needs to seriously up his game with earning (expand his client base, find a new income stream, whatever), or find another way to contribute.

FWIW my DH is currently trying to make a go of a home business after being a SAHD for a couple of years - he doesn't bring in much money but when he's not working he does the housework, school pick up and drop off, cooks...

prettywhiteguitar Fri 25-Nov-16 17:37:36

He's kidding himself, he is either the part time worker and admits that and then does the school pick up and childcare, household stuff or gets a full time job

michelle0922 Fri 25-Nov-16 18:08:13

Thanks all. I didn't think I was being unreasonable. Wish me luck in having this conversation when he gets on tonight!

mumonashoestring Fri 25-Nov-16 18:11:04

Don't give him any wriggle room - start from a position of 'This cannot continue ' and go from there

michelle0922 Fri 25-Nov-16 18:30:38

Thanks. Yes it's definitely reached that point

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