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Dont know what to do

(15 Posts)
ihatefuckingfrozen Tue 15-Nov-16 16:19:59

I'm hoping someone can give me some advice.

I have got myself into quite a lot of debt over the last few years and now it's all piled up on me.

I am a full time working single mum. I work 40 hours a week whilst my son is in nursery.

In total my debt is probably about £30k. I am probably left with about £50 a week to live on.

I don't have any family over here so I can't take on a 2nd job as I have no other childcare.

I am just about making repayments but I am behind in my rent and I know in the next couple of months it's going to be harder to pay my debts as I have borrowed in order to pay others - so borrowing from Peter to pay Paul essentially.

I looked into a DMP but this would mean me losing my car and I need this for work. It would also put my guarantor in a bad position and I do not want to do that to him.

I know this is all my fault and I have been extremely stupid but I am so worried and losing sleep over my situation.

Can anyone advise me on what they did if they were ever in this situation?

Thank you.

Heirhelp Tue 15-Nov-16 16:22:53

Contact these people

user09854784368 Tue 15-Nov-16 16:26:12

Contact step change they can help you

ihatefuckingfrozen Tue 15-Nov-16 16:28:48

Thanks guys. I did their online form and they recommend I go bankrupt. I just can't do this. Even with a DMP it would leave my guarantor to pay my loan and I don't want to do that. It just seems i've no further options left.

LIZS Tue 15-Nov-16 16:30:37

Speak to them, there will be more options.

ihatefuckingfrozen Tue 15-Nov-16 16:35:01

Thanks, will call them tomorrow.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and gotten themselves out of it? I am such an idiot. I had a really well paid job before I had my son and over half of the debt stems from that as I could easily afford to pay it then but I couldn't continue the job I was doing with my new situation so had to take a lower paid job which has left me up sh*t creek.

ihatefuckingfrozen Tue 15-Nov-16 18:16:30


Ta1kinpeece Tue 15-Nov-16 18:23:10

Hi there Frozen
You are not alone and there are definitely ways out of your situation that do not involve bankruptcy.

pop across to the big debt thread as its a very supportive corner of MN and several of the regulars know exactly how you feel.

First off though you eed to sit down and work out exactly
- what you owe
- who you owe it to
- what the terms are

Any debt that is on credit or store cards - use the standing order trick tonight ; it works wonders
Then you need to start the snowballing - highest interest first.

Do talk to step change - they may be able to help you triaging the debts

Oh, and the hard bit.......
Work out what you have been spending - a really detailed budget - and see what changes you need to make to your life

You can be debt free.
It will take a few years, but you will succeed.

Notreallyhappy Tue 15-Nov-16 18:32:38

Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.835

You got in before me talk, I was just going to redirect

ihatefuckingfrozen Wed 16-Nov-16 20:09:51

Thank you all so much.

I will pop over to the other thread at the weekend, have managed to get some overtime and evening work in my local for next couple of nights. I've explained my situation to my ex and he's been incredibly supportive and will help more with childcare so I can work. Thanks again

AndNowItsSeven Wed 16-Nov-16 23:21:57

Contact Christians against poverty, they help anyone regardless of their religion.

AndNowItsSeven Wed 16-Nov-16 23:22:24

bouncydog Sat 19-Nov-16 06:50:26

Could I also suggest that you join

There is a debt free wannabe thread on there with a huge amount of contributors with a lot of knowledge and information. They will ask you to post a statement of affairs - there is a link on the site - and they will then help you find the best remedy for you. They have seen all levels of debt and do not judge people. There will be a way out of debt for you - you just need to explore all of the options. Good luck.

Op I've been where you are. Stepchange were fantastic. Like you I had a car on finance and didn't want to go bankrupt. Stepchange stopped the interest on the credit cards and negotiated a lower payment to all creditors. You pay one payment to them and they distribute it every month. I did this for 8 years after divorce. Things will get easier when your son starts school and nursery fees reduce/stop. But for now Stepchange will help you to stay afloat

Shellym13 Sat 19-Nov-16 17:28:29

I've been exactly where you are, it took me 5 Yeats on a dmp with stepchange to pay it back.
Stepchange ere amazing, they will prioritise your debts and still leave you plenty to live on so dont worry about that. They will ask you to complete and income and expenditure sheet.
The last 5 Years were a struggle but I feel so much better now I took control and I am debt free.
I owed nearer to 40k which totally shocked me the day I added it up! I wish I had do much to show for it but unfortunately I don't even know what I spent it on.
Make sure your mortgage/rent, gas/electic and council tax are up to date as they are the most important. All the other creditors can wait and dont let them bully you into paying more than you can afford.
Once you're in a emo you can't take any more credit or you risk the arrangement.
The worst bit is admitting you need help.
Best of luck to you, it will get better I promise.

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