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Left controlling partner but he owns house : am I entitled ?

(13 Posts)
Inh0use Fri 07-Oct-16 14:37:43

I have left my controlling partner and I had to go quick and had support of DV charity .TBH I was happy to leave everything at the time Now I am thinking of my finances and gaining my strength back a little . I would like advice on the following if anyone can help .
He owns the house the mortgage on his name . I have him 4K towards deposit as we were both intending to live there and I wasn't in a position to go on the mortgage at the time three years ago . He is the bigger earner but I gave him half to the mortgage and bills each month .
Nothing has been put in writing and we have no children together just to previous partners .
I am not bothered about claiming any equity but I am struggling at the moment and keep thinking about the money I gave towards deposit should be given back to me and all the monthly moneys I gave him was just dead money when now I don't live there . Can anyone advise if I can do anything about this or shall I just write it off ?

WheresLarry Fri 07-Oct-16 14:43:25

Didn't want to read and run and I am in no way qualified to properly advise on this but my thought were that if you weren't married then you would have no claim in the house.

The money you paid as a deposit if not written in to a contract is probably also going to be hard to get back.

Well done for breaking free of this man. Whilst it may seem like a struggle just now you should be proud of getting out of the situation and you can rebuild.

WheresLarry Fri 07-Oct-16 14:45:40

Should also say you may get more advice if you get this moved to the relationships or legal matters board. There is a lot of helpful people on mumsnet who are much more qualified to answer your questions.

Inh0use Fri 07-Oct-16 14:48:14

Thanks for that . Yes I thought about moving the thread . I will move to relationships board smile

Wallywobbles Fri 07-Oct-16 14:50:15

If you can prove (bank transfers or chèques) maybe you can get something but ianal.

SpotTheDuck Fri 07-Oct-16 14:51:04

I'm assuming there are no children and you're not married.

I think it would be very difficult to recover anything. You could argue there was an expectation that you'd have a share of the property and try to take legal action, but it won't be straightforward and your legal costs could end up swallowing any money you get back. You also need to add to that cost the emotional costs to you in carrying on dealing with this man, and the time and energy the case would take.

Payment towards the mortgage and bills is presumably roughly what you'd have paid out if you were renting, so maybe just try and see that as living expenses. The deposit is obviously frustrating to lose, but for that amount I think you're better off just drawing a line under this and moving on.

Inh0use Fri 07-Oct-16 15:00:27

That's what I pretty much thought at the time of leaving but my frustrations are getting the better of me now sad

SpotTheDuck Fri 07-Oct-16 15:07:33

I can understand that. I used to be a lawyer, though, and honestly your chances of recovering anything are very low. Much better for you to try and view the financial loss as a small price to escape and put the whole thing behind you.

Inh0use Fri 07-Oct-16 16:41:37

I didn't think so but thought I'd ask to see if anyone had been in a similar position . I've posted on divorce / separation too . Thank you

JoJoSM2 Sun 09-Oct-16 18:27:07

Well, try to look positively at it. At the time you were in no position to get a mortgage and you would have had to rent. It's quite likely that with the money you spend over time it was still considerably less than paying rent for the same period of time ;)

FlabulousChic Tue 11-Oct-16 21:32:15

Was you married?

AnotherEmma Tue 11-Oct-16 21:37:39

Well done for ending the relationship.
As you refer to him as a "partner" I assume you weren't / aren't married?
However, as you contributed to the deposit and mortgage, you may be able to establish that you have a beneficial interest in the property:
I suggest you contact CAB for initial advice and ask them for a list of local solicitors. There may be some who offer a free or low cost initial consultation.
You will need to get advice from a solicitor.

GinBunny Tue 11-Oct-16 22:01:33

I feel for you OP, but I don't think there is anything you can do. And if there was, you would need a solicitor which would probably cost you what he owes in their fees.
I'm in a similar-ish situation. I leant STBXH £50k during our relationship and his solicitor has advised him he doesn't have to pay me back as it is viewed as "joint relationship" money. It sucks.

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