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I'm screwed. I've been an ostrich and now there's no where else to hide

(78 Posts)
Completelyfinanciallyscrewed Mon 11-Jul-16 18:01:12

Tomorrow morning at 11am my family and I will be evicted, unless I can miracle up £2500. I've buried my head in a hell of a lot of sand and now it's too late. I'll lose my home, my family, my husband. All because I have no clue how to handle money. I could blame dh, because he likes to spend, I could blame my parents for never teaching me how to budget. But the truth is I could have learnt how to do these things myself instead of expecting people to bail me out.

I am bereft and I do not know which way to turn now. I'm waiting to get the DC to bed and dh off to work to ring my parents and let them know. I don't expect they will be able to help me with so little notice. But at least I can have a good cry.

Clearly the DC can feel my stress as they are all acting up. But I shall have to face the reality somehow. Finally I cannot walk away.

scurryfunge Mon 11-Jul-16 18:03:18

Find a debt counsellor and try to work out a payment plan. Is there anything at all you could sell/ pawn just to get a head start?

Wendied Mon 11-Jul-16 18:05:46

Do you have a place to go in the short term? Are you hoping your parents can put you up?

Are you packing up your essentials?

Be good to yourself right now, they'll be time later to work out where you went wrong and how to avoid it. flowers

LIZS Mon 11-Jul-16 18:08:52

Does dh know? Could your parents help financially?

Completelyfinanciallyscrewed Mon 11-Jul-16 19:10:30

I've literally not done anything. I don't know where to start. I haven't had the impetus to even tidy the house properly for day. I've no one to blame but myself. Dh knows we were at risk of eviction but not this close to the line - I sorted it out last time.

My parents could put us up short term but it would be a squash. We're on social housing list but they've got us on band d, even though due to other circumstances re medical and overcrowding we were band b.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Mon 11-Jul-16 19:14:50

Hang on.

Does DH know that he's going to be evicted tomorrow morning?

Do you have court tomorrow morning or are you expecting bailiffs? You may have options.

Presumably it's rent that you owe - is it private or council?

Costacoffeeplease Mon 11-Jul-16 19:16:09

Does your husband know? Anyone else know?

Completelyfinanciallyscrewed Mon 11-Jul-16 19:18:37

Dh doesn't know. It's mortgage and I'm expecting bailiffs, well, I presume.

Costacoffeeplease Mon 11-Jul-16 19:19:30

You have to tell him, you really can't let this be sprung on him

LadyStarkOfWinterfell Mon 11-Jul-16 19:19:40

You haven't told him? How can he be so clueless as to not know?

NerrSnerr Mon 11-Jul-16 19:21:35

You need to tell your husband now, before he goes to work!!

Northernlurker Mon 11-Jul-16 19:22:18

You cannot let you husband go to work. He need to call in sick and then you need to ring and see everybody you know and see how much you can raise. Are you members of a club or attend a church who could help you out? If you can find 25 people to give you a tenner each that will be 10% of what you need.

AnthonyPandy Mon 11-Jul-16 19:23:35

You say dh likes to spend. Do not feel the burden of this all by yourself, he is an adult too.

Betrayedbutsurvived Mon 11-Jul-16 19:23:41

You need to tell your husband, right this instant before he leaves for work.

2nds Mon 11-Jul-16 19:27:41

This op is possibly very depressed about this no need for all the clueless comment.

OP don't worry about the house being a mess, that's not a big issue right now. Have you got a number for the appropriate dept/ person to call? Is there a highcourt writ? Are you absolutely certain it's the bailiffs coming and not a rep from your mortgage provider?
Whoever it is coming you should call them and speak to them, they might not throw you out. You aren't sure if it's the bailiffs.

By all means call your parents you do need to talk to someone, sometimes a familiar, understanding voice puts things in perspective.

LIZS Mon 11-Jul-16 19:31:12

Are you sure they plan to evict tomorrow! Can you call the lender now and make an offer to negotiate and pay arrears. That really isn't a huge amount although obviously it needs addressing. They won't want to repossess until as a last resort. Do you have assets you could sell - car, tv etc.

ineedamoreadultieradult Mon 11-Jul-16 19:33:17

Who is coming? Have you had an eviction order? Mortgage companies will do a lot to try and keep you in the property as repossession is a fart on for them. How many months have you missed? Speak to CAB or Stepchange, call the number on whatever paperwork you have. They would much rather accept a payment plan than evict you. Can you afford the monthly payments moving forwards?

NerrSnerr Mon 11-Jul-16 19:37:46

Right OP. You need to get head out of sand and deal with this now.

The Step change helpline is open until 8 so sit your kids in front of the telly and call them now.

Tell your husband tonight and once the kids are in bed sit down and figure this out.

gamerchick Mon 11-Jul-16 19:38:23

Christ tell your husband right now and if he knows things are close why hasn't he poked his head up and said something?

Come on lass they'll only give you an hour to pack up and get out you need to act NOW.

Tequilamockinbird Mon 11-Jul-16 20:37:19

You absolutely must tell your DH tonight OP.

I can't offer any advice on repossession I'm afraid, but you must get your end out of the sand right now.

Others have given good advice re helplines and stuff. Please act on it!

Hopefully you can come to some arrangement with the repossession company before 11am flowers

AnchorDownDeepBreath Mon 11-Jul-16 21:02:03

what documentation have you had?

There might be a way through this, it's difficult to tell without all your documents. You do need to be alert and proactive now. When is DH due at work? Can you put the children to bed and tell him now?

Completelyfinanciallyscrewed Mon 11-Jul-16 21:38:08

Right. I'm back. I've rung my parents, bawled my eyes out and they came over and went through the paperwork with me.

Naturally they are horrified and yes, it really is bailiffs and out tomorrow. I feel like such an utter idiot. I'm a grown up and I should be able to do this but being a grown up seems so overwhelming I just want to hide.

But... They are going to lend me the money to fix it. So I have to phone the mortgage company first thing tomorrow (8am) and at 9:30am my parents and I are presenting ourselves at the bank to transfer money over. They bank with the same bank as I can make payments to. Then I'm going to be ringing the mortgage company again to make sure they've got the payment.

Next step is dh and I sit down and have a cards on the table chat. I've got hold of him at work to let him know things are more dire than we thought they were - he knew part of but not the whole story. He is disappointed, upset, probably angry. But him being at work will give him the time and space he needs to think about this objectively. I think because of issues with previous relationships (his), I've felt I should protect him from that again (from what his parents and siblings tell me) and the truth is it looks like it would very nearly have been exactly the same. He is no longer protected by me from this.

I've written out all our income and outgoings. We've been hit with a massive drop in tax credits and I don't think either of us realised it would be as bad as this. We've agreed what is a non-negotiable need - life insurance for example. But will be looking to see where we can cut absolutely everything else.

The advice to speak to step change and cab has been taken on board and I shall be making the necessary calls tomorrow. I think our cab office is open tomorrow and Thursday, I don't know which is the Drop in and which is appointment only. Either way, I will be taking that advice. same with Step change. Dh can occupy the DC while I phone them and we will see what they say.

I shall also be more actively seeking work - I was working full time when I got the mortgage and due to having a few too many children in a short space of time, childcare negated my wage and there are no clubs etc for before/after school. My youngest will be at school from sept. We cannot have me sitting on my laurels any longer. I'm not particularly fussy about work, we will just have to make it work around school.

Depression would be an easy answer for this. But I think this is part of the reason for my depression (diagnosed and medicated).

CurlyhairedAssassin Mon 11-Jul-16 21:43:30

That's the spirit, Completely! You can do this - you have a plan to follow now.

ladybagpuss Mon 11-Jul-16 21:44:06

That sounds really considered, well done for facing it 'cause these things aren't easy. Good luck and hope it goes smoothly tomorrow.

Tequilamockinbird Mon 11-Jul-16 21:46:26

Well done OP, and good luck

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