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hubby need to stop gambling before we lose the house

(10 Posts)
gamblinghubby Wed 22-Jun-16 13:15:13

He been gambling for 4 yrs now and I feel ashamed!! I didn't know that he was gambling online a year before I realised that there was money going out of my dh's business account, as he's self employed and I help him on his paperwork. 2 yrs ago, we nearly split up cos of his lazy ass cokehead business partner of 9 yrs and dh was coming home very moody and I was getting frustrated. anyway, his business partner had left the business 3 wks ago and dh is so much happier and more awake and I feel the same too as we can start planning things with our 3 kids.

But he's still gambling!!
I've been with dh for 16 yrs this year and he only ever gambled once, cos he was stressed out about another problem years ago and didn't do it again.

He said that he's getting better as he's weaning off it but..... Its bigger money that he's gambling.. I told him a few weeks ago that he's not fecking dragging me down.

What do I do!?! Just hang on for a few.weeks more or tell him to get help?

Our house is desp needs doing up as its falling apart around our ears. And our mortgage is not uptodate. We've already had an mortgage advisor last month cos we were so behind... We've borrowed money off his mum.

I feel fed up. And to make it worse.... My dh is a good guy who does alot for me and others but got.this gambling.prob.

gamblinghubby Wed 22-Jun-16 17:44:09


gamblinghubby Wed 22-Jun-16 19:01:03


DelphiniumBlue Wed 22-Jun-16 19:07:00

Get help now. Let him just operate on pocket money, and you take control of the finances,don't let him have any cards. Although I can see this might be difficult if he's self employed.
But if you don't, you could lose the house and he could go bankrupt.

froubylou Wed 22-Jun-16 19:15:41

You need to have a really frank conversation with him. You need to have all the bank cards and he needs to set limits on his online accounts if not close them.

I did this 6 years ago with dp. I gave him the choice to leave or hand everything over. There have been a couple of cock ups in.times of stress but 99% of the time we are in control of the situation.

If he won't do that then you need to make a decision about whether or not you can continue. It's horrendous so you have my sympathy.

notapizzaeater Wed 22-Jun-16 19:20:41

Does he want to stop ? If he doesn't you're fighting a loosing battle

gamblinghubby Wed 22-Jun-16 19:57:17

Yes I cant take his business card off him and I don't think he needs his card to play these games anyway as one of them is a fb war game which he spends a little but its the game he just fritters away like its not real money. He said to me once he takes over the business he'll stop. He already spent a few hundreds.

I fecking hate it now as we need money to pay for.loads of stuff that we've not managed to do. I've had loads of talks with him and feel like IM talking to a brick wall....he said he does stop, but the stress still there cos we are in the middle of sorting out buying his ex business partner out but his ex business partner is meithering money off dh as it is.coming off the money. We are waiting for the credit union to give us a loan...which will be on 15th July. we were told it wouldbe 15th June but credit union cocked up on the date!!

cozietoesie Wed 22-Jun-16 20:10:14

You might be as well to post this also in Relationships and - although it's seemingly not much used at the moment - Addiction Support. People posting on those boards should have some experience of addiction problems. (It seems to me that that's your biggest issue - you can't make realistic financial plans with the instability of having such a wild card around.)

Has he been in contact with Gamblers Anonymous?

specialsubject Wed 22-Jun-16 20:33:06

a few weeks is enough for him to waste everything you own. Ultimatum, I'm afraid - he hands over all finances to you TODAY and rings Gamblers Anonymous tomorrow.

otherwise you have a very high chance of being homeless and in huge debt.

there's no shame in having an addiction but there IS shame in not accepting help.

pambeesley Wed 22-Jun-16 20:36:57

Ok. First he needs to self exclude from every online casino / bookmakers.

Secondly take all his cards off him. Like alcohol he isn't in control.

Thirdly he needs therapy.

There is also an Alan Carr book on Amazon he could read.

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