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making a will!?!

(18 Posts)
RebeccaRHY1 Fri 22-Jan-16 22:04:40

So we have two children and have just bought a house together. Im a stay at home mum as oh has his own company and spends 70 percent of the year working away from home. He couldnt do that if i had gone back to work.
So during the house purchase life insurance was mentioned. And wills..
And hes just been thinking about it and asked if he should leave money to his brothers and sisters!?
I dont know why but i kind of always thought any wills would be everything going to eachother and our children. Keeping it simple! I mean its 'our' family money really not just his. So if he wants to distribute to our siblings should it not be distributed to my siblings too!? Or am i being ridiculous!? I have no idea what the norm is with this kind of thing!!

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Fri 22-Jan-16 22:08:09

This would be unusual IME. If he wants to leave a token amount, and you can afford it, and feel ok about it, fair enough. IMHO he should be considering his family needs first.

aurorie11 Fri 22-Jan-16 22:09:38

We both work but don't think that makes a difference in terms of a will. We both have life insurance for £300k
Everything goes to each other; if we both go at the same time, everything equally to the kids (but guardian can draw down money). If us and the kids all went at the same time, half goes to my sis and the other half divided between husband's 2 siblings

RebeccaRHY1 Fri 22-Jan-16 22:12:40

So it wont be an unreasonable suggestion for me to ask that he just keeps it between us and the children?
Its an awful thing to talk about and i dont want to come across like i want anything if he did die (god forbid) but it does seem the norm for me. I mean if he was to go that money needs to go a long way to support us! And its hard to say whether there will be enough to give hand outs to others as well!?

RebeccaRHY1 Fri 22-Jan-16 22:13:17

As a stay at home mum should i et life insurance too!? I dont really understand it all to be honest

thesandwich Fri 22-Jan-16 22:14:25

Mumblechum is an expert on here- check her out!

badg3r Fri 22-Jan-16 22:16:41

Are his siblings struggling financially? It seems a bit unusual to me. If one goes then the money should still be funneled into the same immediate family unit I think.

RebeccaRHY1 Fri 22-Jan-16 22:19:02

One of his sisters has her debts but all self induced to be honest. And they don't even really get on. So i Found the suggestion a bit odd. He wasn't outright saying he wanted to he was jut debating out loud like he didn't really know either. We are obviously going to sit down with an advisor to sort it so maybe he will suggest keeping it to our family unit. I dont know!

techgirl Fri 22-Jan-16 22:20:41

Life insurance is a good idea if there wouls be a serious financial hole otherwise if one of you dies - otherwise IMHO and that of my financial advisor! it is a waste of money. If you are not earning you do need a serious talk with your DH about how finances would work if he died or you split up. I'd suggest this include a talk about the kids if you both died - we named my bro in law and his wife as guardians for our kids, you hope it would never happen but I am a lot happier knowing that if we both died kids would be looked after by relatives they know and love with no worries or uncertainty.

RebeccaRHY1 Fri 22-Jan-16 22:22:45

Do u have to name people to take care of your children in these wills too!? What happens if you dont!? Is it like debated through courts where they'll be best off!?

RebeccaRHY1 Fri 22-Jan-16 22:25:51

Another question too. Our children are under 5 so if money etc is left to them rather than me will i be able to access it!? Or can i only access what is left to me!?

RebeccaRHY1 Sun 24-Jan-16 22:22:47


ConvertedTry Sun 24-Jan-16 22:42:59

DH and I have 'mirror wills'. If anything happens to me everything goes to DH and vice versa.

It stipulates what would happen to DC if DH and I were to die together and how our estate should be managed (e.g. my brother would receive enough money to look after DC but anything else would be held in trust for DC).

If DH, DC and I all go together our estate is split 50:50 between my siblings and DH's siblings.

Definitely go and see a solicitor. Many will do a free consultation.

RebeccaRHY1 Sun 24-Jan-16 22:55:05

Does it matter that we arent married? We do plan to marry but i dunno if because we're bot married im unsure what part of his earnings feel like mine, for me to have any say in how they are distrubuted should anyone die!

ConvertedTry Sun 24-Jan-16 23:01:59

I'm not a lawyer but if you're not married I suspect that it's even more important to have that conversation around what you want to happen if anything happens to either of you and to make a will.

This is worth reading...

xenu1 Mon 25-Jan-16 09:09:42

I made a simple will via "Which" last year (after a relationship breakup). Good value but was simple (just my nieces/nephews). It's easy to apportion percentages to various people. Your DP might reserve 5%, say, to each of his siblings (as might you to yours) with the rest to each other. Just as you might give a % to a charity. If it's more complex then see a solicitor. You deffo need a will if not married and with children all the upthread advice is worth taking. The solicitors should have template wills and "jargon" for guardians etc.

originalmavis Mon 25-Jan-16 09:12:22

Get a will and lasting powers of attorneys set up. It will cut out a fair amount of faff should either of you die or become incapacitated.

specialsubject Mon 25-Jan-16 10:57:03

wills are not morbid. You will die. He will die. If either or both of those events happen before your children are independent you leave them in deep shit.

when he dies, what will your financial situation be? When you die, same question - if this happens before the kids are grown he won't be able to work so it does matter.

have an adult conversation and make plans for the possibilities. Also guardianship if the children are orphaned while young (hope not). A basic responsibility of being parents.

you've got the kids and the house. You might as well nip down the registry office to simplify matters. Bit of paperwork and a 15 minute cringe, job done.

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