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iabu but how do they (or you!) do it?

(27 Posts)
spillyobeans Sat 12-Dec-15 13:59:17

Ok so i will admit we (me and dh, dh more so) are jelous, but i would like to know how they (friends) seem to manage where we just cant?

Backstory is basically, i work in a minimum wage retail job (but currently on maternity leave ao only paid my 'contracted hours' which is only 16, whereas i worked 40+ when i was there) so only make about 600 pm. Dh works full time in nhs, and earns between 14-16k per year. So together we are only bringing in between 20-22k per year (make some extra every now and again selling crafty bits and bobs but not much)

Each month our combined wages bring in 1700, our outgoings come to about 1200 (rent, electric, house phone/internet...all prority bills) the only 'luxuries' we pay for is netflix at 8 pm. That leaves us with About 125 pw - which covers food and fuel and baby necessitys like nappies.

We hardly have any disposable income, maybe 50 a month on a good month. Which we normaly save and ends up getting spent on car repairs or similar.

I feel like at this rate we will never get a mortgage or be able to buy anything of our own, such as a new sofa etc (everything we have is hand me downs that is all tatty) and yet we see friends, who work not better paying jobs than ourselves, getting mortgages and kitting out their whole house with brand new furniture and getting new cars and always out having drinks and meals etc...how do they do it?? I am happy for them, but i wish i could be in the same situation!

Dh does overtime everymonth so is already overworked. Even when i worked 40 hours a week i was not earning over 900, but now with a young baby i will only be able to work parttime anyway as well as childcare costs...

Someone please enlighten me!

loobywoof Sat 12-Dec-15 14:09:58

Sometimes when it seems others are coping better the truth of the matter is that they are not. They may have massive debts.
Of course no one truly knows another's financial situation but I think you will find that some people are more comfortable with debt than others and this does impact their current (if not their future) lifestyle.

DoreenLethal Sat 12-Dec-15 14:13:13

You should be being paid an amount based on your average weekly earnings, not your contractual amount...

www.gov.uk/guidance/statutory-maternity-pay-manually-calculate-your-employees-payments

rainydaygrey Sat 12-Dec-15 14:14:40

A lot of people live on credit OP.

spillyobeans Sat 12-Dec-15 14:24:38

Dorreen i will look into that...i did raise it with hr but they dont me thats not how their company does it?

spillyobeans Sat 12-Dec-15 14:26:13

Woof- yes me and dh often say atleast we have absolutely no debt or anything on credit atleast what we own is ours.

spillyobeans Sat 12-Dec-15 14:28:20

Doreen - i think im under the threshold for weekly earnings as i earn less than smp

williaminajetfighter Sat 12-Dec-15 14:36:56

People get help from families, some live on credit, some live in subsidised housing or don't pay a market rate so find savings there, some get a little or a lot of £ from the state and some have assets that they have sold or that provide an income.

I see it all the time OP. People I work with on half the salary as me and going on two holidays abroad per year etc shopping at lunch etc and you wonder how can they do it? But they don't prioritise the things I do (eg £ on food for instance), don't have costs for certain things (University loans) and probably go without certain things I couldn't.

I do think many people who have been in long term subsidised housing are 'winning' as are those who get a lot of £ back/from the govt but such is the divisiveness that happens when the faceless state decides who is and isn't deserving of help.

spillyobeans Sat 12-Dec-15 14:46:53

Yes, one couple who we are v good friends with, both are self employed (hairdressing) are young/sam age as us (early 20s) have a mortgage have just kitted out whole house with new everything, have an audi and a motor bike, allways shopping and going out and have just gone on their 4th (!) Holiday of the year, which was disney land so must have cost a fortune!

DoreenLethal Sat 12-Dec-15 14:49:56

i did raise it with hr but they dont me thats not how their company does it?

A company cannot make their own laws up.

Allgunsblazing Sat 12-Dec-15 14:51:45

OP, about 15 years ago I was in your shoes. I retrained in a better paid job.

TheWildRumpyPumpus Sat 12-Dec-15 15:15:16

If you are good friends with them could you ask them for tips as to how they managed to get their mortgage?

Did they live at home with parents so managed to save up a deposit? Or were gifted/inherited some money? Generally self employed people have stricter rules when it comes to getting a mortgage approved so they must have a decent income over a period of time.

Having children makes saving for a deposit harder as you have to worry about childcare costs. There are a lot of people out there living beyond their means though, so don't be fooled by appearances.

Ta1kinPeace Sat 12-Dec-15 16:24:18

Lots of people are up to their eyes in debt and think that because they meet the minimum they have it under control

many others live hand to mouth

but Y Y Y to up skilling yourself and looking for better paid work

Shemozzle Sat 12-Dec-15 16:33:46

From my observations it's usually down to parents helping out. Even the friends I know who have been in high earning jobs for years, had help from their parents either at uni, or when first buying their house. Those without wealthy parents often still have parents that will buy their food shopping once a month or pay their phone bill or look after the children so they don't have childcare fees etc. also if you are self employed with a trade you can work a lot of cash in hand jobs (hairdressing for eg) or where you earn tips, they may not declare a lot of their earnings (and I don't blame blame them either to be perfectly honest)

Seriouslyffs Sat 12-Dec-15 16:34:16

Are you not eligible for tax credits?

Whatdoidohelp Sat 12-Dec-15 17:10:54

Well done for staying out of debt.

Whilst your on mat leave could you do any courses or qualifications to further your career? Could you do an evening college course. Maybe a typing course, secretarial etc to get you into an office environment?

Fluffycloudland77 Sat 12-Dec-15 17:55:24

Probably either debt or parents helping out.

AvaCrowder Sat 12-Dec-15 18:08:16

Doreen is right, during my last pregnancy I was contracted to work 12 hours per week, but I did lots of overtime between the relevant weeks to get more maternity pay.

Check this out properly, and your entitlement to child benefit, housing benefit and child tax credits.

I think your friends have had help to make their purchases, either from family or with credit, which is really not wise.

Fizrim Sat 12-Dec-15 18:09:12

Did they save up for their mortgage, getting a deposit together before buying a house?

Back in the dark ages when I was first purchasing property, we saved like mad for a deposit (no meals out, no parental help) to buy the property before our wedding. We did one big thing at a time (property/wedding/family) whereas I see a lot of people today have the family first and then try and do the other stuff - I doubt we'd have managed that ourselves as children are not cheap to run generally! It does feel as if the expectations are different nowadays and trying to do it all at the same time seems unrealistic to me. Certainly not worth getting in debt over, I think you are doing the right thing there.

spillyobeans Sat 12-Dec-15 18:42:30

I have a degree but cant find work so i am going to hopefully go back to uni to do something with more of a chance of devent paid work!

We are just under threshold for any benefits bar child benefit unfortunately.

Ughnotagain Sat 12-Dec-15 18:48:17

If you're earning about £600 a month on maternity leave is it SMP that you're getting? If so the number of hours you work won't make a difference, it's about £139 a week regardless. That's what I currently receive and I'm contracted 35 hours.

I also work in debt advice. Trust me, a lot of people are living on credit.

Ughnotagain Sat 12-Dec-15 18:50:43

Oh, and the cut off for tax credits for a couple and one child is about £26k isn't it? Someone told me on here as well that when you're on SMP you can deduct £100 a week for your earnings.

I'd fill out the calculator on the Entitled To website if I were you. If you're bringing in £22k on your normal full time wages I reckon you should be entitled to TCs.

ChutneyRhodrey Sat 12-Dec-15 19:26:51

I understand where you're coming from OP, myself and DP are in a similar boat.

My best friend appears to be like one of the people you mentioned. She's just bought a house, her and her OH have new cars, furnished the house etc. Turns out her grandparents but down the deposit on her house and their cars and furnishings are all on finance. They're living out of their overdraft and have debts too.

Whilst I admit I did feel a little envious at first I've realised things aren't always as they seem.

spillyobeans Sat 12-Dec-15 22:09:39

Well i earn about 111 a week at 16 hours per week, but thats less than smp and calculater says which ever is less?

Babyroobs Sat 12-Dec-15 23:56:27

I have come to the conclusion that many people who seem to have new cars, go on a lot of holidays etc have been left money or have parents who help them out financially. As others have said the key is probably to buy a house before starting a family. Mortgage is often lower than renting and once you have the expense of kids/ childcare etc it becomes harder to save. We had 2 kids when we bought our current home but my dad gave us the deposit ( only about £7k back in 2002). If we had not got on the prperty ladder when we did we never would have done . Also many people have grandpsrents helping with free childcare.

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