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Living with parents - What about other siblings

(10 Posts)
gabsdot Fri 30-Oct-15 18:40:07

My sister currently lives with her family in my parents house with my parents and has done for several years.
They are considering building an extension to make the house work better for everyone. My sister and her husband would pay for this.
However here are 4 other siblings in the family, Three of us own our own homes, one doesn't, the youngest.
My parents are conscious that they want all of us to share equally in the house when they go. And they'd like to help my youngest brother to buy a house for his family too.
I want to make it clear that I don't expect anything from my parents financially and I think my other siblings would say the same but I worry about what would happen in the future if my parents die and leave the house to all of us but my sister and her family are living there in the house with an extension that they funded. It seems like there is potential for a huge mess /row / falling out.
Does anyone have any experience of this kind of thing. I'm close to my parents and sister and although I should stay out of it, I'm already involved in that they have spoken to me about it and asked me what I think of the plan.

SushiAndTheBanshees Fri 30-Oct-15 18:59:09

Why do you think your parents wouldn't leave your live-in sister a share in the house?

If she self-funds the extension, how is that any different from you, with your own home, inheriting a share of the house?

To be honest, I think the idea is crazy. I mean, it's good for you in that your sister will be living with your parents into their old age - great peace of mind. But presumably she won't be able to buy you all out when the time comes. And she may the. He faced with having to leave her own home so the four of you can sell the rest of the house.

It just doesn't make sense. Can your parents not help her buy a house nearby? Or could they give/part-sell her their house and buy something smaller for themselves nearby?

I see trouble ahead, I'm afraid.

gabsdot Fri 30-Oct-15 19:30:04

Well my parents would leave my sister 1/5 of the house. I hate even thinking about this as my parents are still fit and healthy and hopefully they'll be around for years.
My mother in particular is reluctant to leave the house but she has said it seems silly to have so much money tied up in it when my sister and younger brother don't have their own home. If they really want to help I guess the sensible thing would be to sell up and buy something cheaper and smaller and easier to manage.
My parents house is in a 'naice' area and would sell for a good sum.
But I agree, I see trouble ahead.

midnightmoomoo Fri 30-Oct-15 22:02:24

I agree, it sounds like trouble in years to come. If your sister is going to fund the extension, does this mean they have money? If so couldn't this be used as a deposit on their own place? I wouldn't be happy if I were you, even without the hope of inheritance one day, it just doesn't sound like a good idea. Have you spoken to your other siblings about it?

RandomMess Fri 30-Oct-15 22:07:27

It does need to be thought about and considered carefully. The resident sister needs to have a share of the property now, then the remainder to be shared out when your parent die.

What happens if your parents need care or something and your resident sisters equity input isn't recognised?

I think you need to get some legal advice to avoid an almighty upset in the future.

Mumblechum has a small business that advertises on here - Marlow Wills I'd contact her for a start.

lazycoo Sat 31-Oct-15 06:23:23

Your sister needs independent legal advice on her position when your parents pass away or need to sell up to fund care, and so do your parents.

winchester1 Sat 31-Oct-15 06:41:11

If they die and she wants to still live there could she pay rent to the other siblings on their share of the house. Would you all agree to that?

lazycoo Sat 31-Oct-15 07:14:24

Any rental arrangement couldn't be enforceable unless the house were to be placed in trust which is v tax inefficient. What happens if someone wants to sell up? Its all very well agreeing that your sister could stay there now but things change (death of a sibling, the spouse enforcing rights eg).

RandomMess Sat 31-Oct-15 12:39:47

When I say "you" need legal advice, I mean all of the involved parties need to collectively get some about the purely legal pitfalls and options.

Perhaps the houseless brother gets his inheritance early, your resident sis gets a share of the house now on the deeds. The rest of you may never inherit due to care costs etc. What if your sis ends up caring for your parents full time for 20 years how to recompense for that?

Still means that sis may have to sell up when the parents die though, or buy the rest of you out if she wants to stay. All very complex.

lazycoo Sat 31-Oct-15 14:05:58

^^what random said

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