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Serious anxiety .... please give me a (kind) reality check

(3 Posts)
mooma3 Fri 19-Jun-15 19:48:45

I understand that what i am about to ask/ say will seem ridiculous to many but please bear with me as I worry a lot about money and the future.
I do realise that compared to many our situation will sound great but to others you may understand where i am coming from.

I guess i just need a reality check that actually we are doing ok and I should relax a little....

Thank you

So.... we are both 35 and expecting our 3rd child in a few months.
We live in Surrey and own a house worth probably just over £500 000 and have a mortgage of just £80 000.
We own two cars outright and have no other debits, loans etc.

We have ISA's and savings and manage to save a decent amount monthly.
We never buy anything we can't afford but that does sometimes feel like we can't have all that we want.

But... what with baby 3 arriving we need to sell one car and buy a bigger one so that is a huge chunk of money needed and we will only buy what we can pay for outright.
We also want a very large extension on the house in the next few years.

This is the first year we have been on a family holiday and the kids loved it so much I would like it to become a more regular things - we most likely wouldnt go abroad when the baby is young so we have a few years to save for that but the kind of holidays we would want would not be cheap.

I hope that as we get older we will earn more so things will just progress nicely but i still alway worry that we just wont have it all , we wont have lots of savings or money for the future etc.

Many of those around us are sending their kids to private school, are off of holiday every 5 minutes , drive lexus and other luxury cars so it feels like money is constantly in my face.

I do understand some people can't afford to pay rent so these are 'extravagant' worries but regardless these are the anxieties i have and i would appreciate people who understand where i am coming from to offer some words of wisdom or just help put it all into perspective for me - thank you.

Sunseed Fri 19-Jun-15 20:42:40

Ok, you've identified your needs, wants and objectives which is a great starting point. You also accept that resources are limited. Therefore, your next step is to try to prioritise, and think about a time line. Address the highest priorities and then, if budget allows, you can start to at least make steps towards the lower priorities even if you can't achieve them straight away.

Sounds like the car is an immediate need, and then the extension. Work out what that will cost and how you will finance it (mortgage?) over how many years. If you can then use some of your monthly savings for a separate holiday fund, even if it's only £50 it will quickly tot up and you can increase it when you're able.

Please try not to get hung up on what other people have. There will always be people who seem to effortlessly have everything and it's just not worth winding yourself up over it. Be glad that you manage your money carefully and are debt free.

mooma3 Fri 19-Jun-15 21:00:06

Thank you Sunseed.

yeah my mum says most people probably have debts and not so much savings but it is still hard to understand that ....

It is just always in my head....cant seem to totally relax about it and realise it will all be fine.

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