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I need help

(41 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

lauraem85 Sun 17-May-15 18:01:34

Hi this is going to be a long post so please bear with me. I'm Laura I'm 29 and I have 3 children who don't live with me, I see them once a week, I was in a very bad realiship to point I ended up in a women Aid place, I finally got a flat and started to move, but I have no control over money, im up to my eyes in debts, I have people knocking on my door every two weeks when I get paid so I have to give them money I owe them, which leaves me with very little, it's all my own fault, and I realised how bad it has got, I'm not asking for money, I'm asking if anyone in Birmingham can spare a loaf of bread or a few tins? I haven't eaten since Monday I don't get paid till Tuesday and I have 18p to my name. Now all my family live up north plus I don't talk to them anymore haven't for a few years, friends I have down here can't help me, it got to point where I can't walk very far now this has been going on for over a year now I get paid I pay my debts off, I get some food but not enough to last me two weeks, u don't have anything to sell, my mobile is only thing I won't sell as it means my children grandparents can't get in touch with me, I have been to a food bank once last month, but I'm so scared to ask for help again, I'm going to try and get in a doctor tomorrow to tell doctors the full truth of how low I have gotten! I've made a mess of my life and I don't know how to get out of this mess! Please no nasty comments I'm not asking for money. Suppose I've come on here to talk and let steam off. I'm 29 I'm a adult and I've messed my life up big time.

PandaMummyofOne Sun 17-May-15 18:12:21

I'm nowhere near you so can't help, but didn't want to read and run. My only advice is to use the food banks. This is what they are for. I hope you get the support and help you need.

I'm here for a chat or PM if you ever fancy a rant.

WindMeUpAndLetMeGo Sun 17-May-15 18:20:09

Contact CAB and get help with the debts, you can get a debt plan where you will only pay what you can afford and it will keep the wolves from the door. I'm not local to you but please try them, and don't go with a company that charge you for this. Hope things get better.

lauraem85 Sun 17-May-15 18:29:17

Some of the debts arnt as simple as that, as it's money I've borrowed off people to buy food with ect,
I'm going to try my best and sort it this week. Thank you for replying x

AyeAmarok Sun 17-May-15 18:29:19

I'm afraid I'm not local to you ,but just wanted to say please don't worry about having used food banks before, they are there for those who need them. Honestly, your case is EXACTLY what they are there for. The people running it would hate for you to be going hungry just because you were scared of going back again.

nooptionforwillis Sun 17-May-15 18:31:27

Nowhere near you either, but would second others about going for structured debt advise. Step change/cab etc. would you consider going bankrupt?

WindMeUpAndLetMeGo Sun 17-May-15 18:35:43

Are crisis loans still available? I don't much about them I'm afraid but I know my DS had a couple when she was struggling a few years back.

DoTheDuckFace Sun 17-May-15 18:37:56

Sorry I also am not near you, please please go to a food bank. You need to eat. You need to contact cab and sort out the official debts into a debt management and then try to pay off the people you have borrows from gradually.
Please get help.

KissMyFatArse Sun 17-May-15 18:38:41

Hope someone on here local can help

Georgethesecond Sun 17-May-15 18:39:39

Hi Laura,
There are lots of things you can do.
Try Turn2us or entitledto to make sure you are getting all the benefits and tax credits you are entitled to.
Try Stepchange or CAB to get help with your debts and make sure your repayments are manageable. CAB will also advise you about emergency credit for gas and electric.
Use foodbanks if you can.
No one in this country with children end starve. Honestly. You just need to use the systems that are set up for you.

Georgethesecond Sun 17-May-15 18:42:10

Oh bugger I see your children don't live with you. Are you on ESA or JSA? The rest of what I said is right - but you will be poorer without the child benefits and child tax credits. Get help as soon as you can, please. There is help out there.

lauraem85 Sun 17-May-15 18:44:46

If I could go bankrupt I would but I'm only on jsa and I could never afford to do it! It's my little boy birthday next week and I'm gonna make sure I get him a card and a present even if it's from pound shop. I owe so many people money, one of my closest friends, has been supported and sent me shopping and give me couple of pound ever now and then, but she now turned round and said she can't help me anymore unless I sort myself out, and she is expecting a knock on door from police to say I'm dead from not eatting, is it bad that I look a takeaway menus and trick my brain in to thinking I've eatten. Last thing I had to eat was 6 days ago and it was a packet of fish and chips Crips, before that it was last Tuesday. Wednesday as I had. So in last two weeks I've only eatten for 3days! I've gone from a size 20 to a size 12 due to not eatting. I seriously can't believe mess I've gotten myself into, yesterday and today has been a big wake up call as I've fainted a few times due to not eatting and as my friend said I can't carry on like this! But it's getting oit of this mess I don't know how to! I'm scared to tell doctors incase they lock me up! X

Lolimax Sun 17-May-15 18:45:07

Hi. Christians against poverty (and you don't have to be one) are very good look them up. And try CAB as suggested. Keep going to the food banks and talk to the volunteers there. They might know of other sources of help. Keep coming on here to vent. I often think there by the grace go I so any of us could make the wrong decisions at any time and therefore should support and try to help if we possibly can. Another thought is the Salvation Army? Good luck xxx

IonaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 17-May-15 18:47:22

Hi OP, we do hope you manage to access some help and get through somehow until Tuesday. We just wanted to drop by, as we always do, to remind folk that we advise all our members to be aware that not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are, and that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
Best of luck, OP. We sincerely hope things improve for you soon.

WindMeUpAndLetMeGo Sun 17-May-15 18:54:59

My DM filled for bankruptcy whilst on benefits, it isn't a much as you probably think.
Are there soup kitchens in your area, just trying to think of ways of getting food.

Vanimal Sun 17-May-15 18:55:02

If you are in central Brum and anywhere near Ladywood head to the community centre on St Vincent's St. I'm fairly certain they do free toast on Mondays. It's worth asking there?

I'm not local to Brum anymore, sorry I can't help more.

Vanimal Sun 17-May-15 18:56:06

They also serve free or v cheap community meals also on Mondays I think. I'm sure they wouldn't turn you down if you didn't have anything.

lauraem85 Sun 17-May-15 18:59:16

I was up a court due to none payment of coucil tax but that's all been sorted now, as I had job last year it was only agency work, cleaning in schools, but the hours weren't there, so u was even worse off, so had To go back on jsa. I'm a course a the moment job centre has sent me on it, so I'm going to try and speak to someone there, or try and go cab tomorrow and see if I can get another voucher for the food bank, and take all my debt letters with me,
My life has been mess since I was abused by the farther of my children, he doesn't see them, and he has no contact with his parents, he use to say I could never live a life without him and it's sort of true I can't handle life, if I had Control I wouldn't be in this mess!
But thank you to everyone who has replied. Xx

lauraem85 Sun 17-May-15 19:01:40

I'm in Handsworth
I will have a look and see if I can find any soup kitchens x

AyeAmarok Sun 17-May-15 19:03:11

When you do get some money from your JSA, what sort of food do you buy?

People here can make 5 or 10 pounds go a really really long way, if you buy the right food.

Diamond23 Sun 17-May-15 19:07:59

If OP owes money to friends, family or nasty doorstop lenders, CAB, step change or going bankrupt won't help with payment plans.
However, they may be able to help you draw up a budget. And you need to go to a food bank. People here shouldn't be giving away food for obvious reasons and you shouldn't accept it even if they do. You're putting yourself in danger.

Quite frankly, if I hadn't eaten in 3 weeks is be shoplifting food so good on you. How about hitting the supermarket bins after closing? They'll be plenty of food all packaged

lauraem85 Sun 17-May-15 19:08:31

I get paid on Tuesday, and what ever money I have left I go to Iceland or Lidi or wait till asda starts prices there food down on a night, and buy what I can, x

MaccaPaccaismyNemesis Sun 17-May-15 19:13:15

I'm not local to birmingham but food banks are going to be your best bet.

Have you borrowed from loan sharks?

Diamond23 Sun 17-May-15 19:19:31

I'd be shoplifting even

lauraem85 Sun 17-May-15 19:31:26

Imagine if I got found out by my children grandparents It would cause too much trouble. I sometimes go for walks in the hope I find like money that someone has accidentally dropped. That's how bad it's got. Like now I'm starving & I tried going on those online takeaway order things & just randomly typing in card numbers etc to see if it would work. I have thought about it, but the thought of been told I'm not aloud to see my children is stopping me. I'd rather stave and see my children once week than be told I'm not aloud to see them. X

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