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Advice needed for paying my ex Child Maintenance

(5 Posts)
Skygirl1983 Sat 24-Jan-15 20:35:54

Hi all,
I have a slightly odd situation with regards to my ex, my children and maintenance and need some advice.
I will try to keep it short but basically this is the situation:
I have 3 children with my ex. I moved 2 years ago with my job (its very specialist and if I didnt move I would have been unemployed) So it was agreed the children would stay with him because their home, school and support network where all there. The split at the time was amicable, I paid maintenance and also provided a car for him to use for the kids all of which totalled over �1000 per month. After a while things changed, he got a new gf, he got awkward with contact, starting demanding more money for clothes etc for the kids, and it turns out he got himself into a mess moneywise, got himself evicted and lost his job and his gf. So I helped him get back on his feet and into his new place. Then I started getting parking tickets relating to his car from debt collectors. �90 each, and in total there was 12 of them which just now I am paying off. Aswell as his car (its a 2 year lease) and maintenance. Now I earn a decentish wage but nowhere near enough to maintain paying this amount of money to him aswell as live too. He got himself a new gf, and again he demanded more money for clothes etc. It turns out he has been wining and dining her, going on weekends away etc. So I told him I was reducing his money after seeking advice, as I cant afford to keep it up. Especially when I am paying maintenance and still paying extra on top of it. I should also state that this whole time he hasnt bought so much as a birthday or xmas present for the kids (they spent xmas with me) So the car he has just now is due to go back in March and he has purposely ran up excess mileage which I will have to pay for (he told me this over text) so I have told him that until any outstanding bills are paid he is getting nothing off me until the lease and excess bill are paid for. He has now gone to the CSA to get maintenance that way. Now I am not out to deny my kids anything, I never have, he has had the best part of �12grand out of me during the last year! But my question is, can I dispute this until everything else is sorted or do I need to go through a lawyer?

Rockchick1984 Sat 24-Jan-15 20:59:42

The maintenance payments are for the children, not for him. Stop paying him the extra if you like but you won't get far with refusing maintenance if he goes through CMS.

LaurieFairyCake Sat 24-Jan-15 21:03:11

Look up what your supposed to pay him.

Pay him that. And stop bailing him out in any way and stop entering into any joint credit agreements with him.

If you think the children are not being looked after properly and they're not being bought essential items then have them at yours 50% of the time, reduce maintenance in line with what CMS says and buy the children the stuff they need.

RandomMess Sat 24-Jan-15 21:04:39

Just pay him the legal amount necessary not a penny more. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about reclaiming the money you've already given him over and above what is required.

What is the situation with the mortgage/house? Are you still owning it 50//50 to be sold at a later time hence you paying toward the mortgage?

mipmop Sat 24-Jan-15 21:18:22

You say-
So it was agreed the children would stay with him because their home, school and support network where all there.

But go on to describe what may be a chaotic situation for them (new girlfriends being prioritised, being evicted, dad losing his job). Are you rethinking the whole agreement? It doesn't sound life they're getting the benefits you expected from staying in their original location.

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