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My DH seems so financially unaware, worried..

(16 Posts)
Jemster Sat 20-Dec-14 08:17:31

My DH seems very financially unaware and it's beginning to worry me. I have never been great at understanding money matters but I'm now in a job dealing with pensions and it's made me realise the importance of planning for the future.
We are both 40. I am in a very good co. Pension scheme but his employer pays nothing in to his. It doesn't seem to bother him. He never ever brings up the subject of financial planning for the future.
Other people I know have all sorts if plans & the DH is very involved.
I'm worried at DH's apparent lack of interest & naivety on the subject.
I'm thinking of arranging a meeting with an IFA through my employer and getting him to sit down & realise the seriousness of our situation and that we need to do something about it.
Does anyone else find the management of the family finances falls to them?

midnightmoomoo Sat 20-Dec-14 12:29:03

Hi, yes it's the same in this house!! My DH has been unemployed for 16 months now and isn't at all phased by it (he's qualified in a niche sciencey area and there are very few jobs).....even though from next month we don't have enough coming in to cover food or repay his credit cards.

However, I'm still bothered by the long term implications of our situation, we need to remortgage at some point, I haven't paid into my pension since I left teaching to have the kids ten years ago, and we had to stop his pension when he lost his job as we couldn't justify even the minimum payment into it. We're the same age as you, with a big mortgage, no pension provision to speak of and is he bothered? Not really! We are both one of three children so not likely to inherit enough to help, not that I'd expect it although I know a number of people who are counting on being left enough to 'sort' their old age.

I don't know what the answer is, but I hope he gets a job soon and when he does we will be dealing with our finances very differently to how we did/didn't before!

CogitOIOIO Sat 20-Dec-14 12:38:32

I think a lot depends on the reason why he lacks interest. If it's ignorance, he needs information. If it's laziness, he needs motivation. If he's head in the sand irresponsible with cash (and I used to have a partner like that) and doesn't want to know because it would involve self restraint, then it can be a serious problem.

mizu Sun 21-Dec-14 09:23:29

Same situation here. I manage all finances and D H never knows how much is in the bank/what goes out and when. Been going on so long it has become normal.

FantasticMrsFoxx Sun 21-Dec-14 21:17:04

My OH's answer to everything is that he's going to win the lottery!!??!!
I win £2 every week by just not playing! That's why I own 70% of the house and have £20k in the bank and he owes me £6k that he's paying back at £100 / month. He does have a pension though.

elephantspoo Mon 22-Dec-14 19:18:39

As a pension professional, I wonder if you are aware to the catastrophic derivatives exposure most funds are exposed to, and the lack of insurance offered if those funds collapse.

Let's say I have a £50K nest egg to move into a pension plan, and intend to contribute say, £100 a month going forward. That would put me probably at the lower end of what most pension providers see as a decent customer.

Does you company advise, or offer any products that are not in the paper asset market? And are and of the hundreds of funds a customer could put money into, insured against a stock market collapse of a fund default?

If the answer is 'no', as it was with the major pension provider said nest egg was sitting in until recently, then I'd suggest DH putting as little into pension provision as possible is a very wise move. Hard assets are far more stable and far less likely to suffer loss in a market that is a bubble just looking for a pin to pop it.

elephantspoo Mon 22-Dec-14 19:22:54

£20k in the bank - With an inflation rate in the real world somewhere around 6%, your money is losing purchasing power year on year.

ThePrincessWhoSatOnTheSprout Mon 22-Dec-14 19:33:44

Pensions are very important (though might not be worth what you put in at this current time). Saving is also very important. I'm nearing 50, but started my own private pension age 17 (and I went for high risk and it performed brilliantly way back then - changed to not high risk and it's not so brilliant now - actually crap!). Although I don't work, I've worked enough for full state pension. DH deals with our joint pensions, ISA's, saving and everything he can to provide for our future (it's me that's pretty clueless about this). He's even started little pensions for the DC (under 10). It's important to save somehow. I'd speak to someone if you can - you either need to save in the right place or start a pension - but pensions are investments and can be risky. Advice is important.

TalkinPeace Tue 23-Dec-14 17:32:32

Clear down debt
especially cards
start tax free savings : mixture of ISAs and mortgages

I've just set up my first proper pension.
I'm darn near 50
I'm treating it as one of several savings plan, NOT the be all and end all
as I do not plan to retire.

and yes, I do all the numbers in this house - as I'm the accountant

TalkinPeace Tue 23-Dec-14 17:32:54

isas and pensions, sorry, not mortgages d'oh

CogitOIOIO Tue 23-Dec-14 17:59:56

I think people offering financial advice are missing the point. The problem is the ignorant/lazy/irresponsible attitude of the partner to family finances... not how to invest in a pension.

elephantspoo Tue 23-Dec-14 18:03:45

TalkinPeace - I'm definitely with you on the first two, but I don't see the numbers adding up for ISAs and Pensions. I don't buy this BS that we only have a 1% inflation rate. There in no way my everyday cost of living has only risen by £1 in every £100 I spend over the last year. Real inflation in the market is running at 6-8% currently, so unless I can get 6% in my ISA, I'm still going to have lost money on every £1 I put into it.

Now, with pensions I can see a benefit, but no pension provider I am aware of underwrites your pension poss against loss, so in the even of a downturn in the stock or bonds market, or a failure in the derivatives market, you can lose huge % of your entire savings, no matter how well diversified you are.

With pensions, you'd probably be better served with a SIPP and holding at least a good portion of your capital in hard assets.

Just my 2c.

elephantspoo Tue 23-Dec-14 18:15:41

The problem is the ignorant/lazy/irresponsible attitude of the partner to family finances

We only know that one person has become employed with a pension provider, and now thinks DH is ignorant/lazy/whatever. That is subjective and we do not actually know how well informed either party is about money.

On top of that OP has eluded to a desire to speak to an IFA, not the sharpest tools in the box, more like parrots who repeat rote what they have been taught in training seminars by a variety of interest groups. This talks to both the wisdom of OP and the course of action being taken.

Very admirable that OP is going to deal with the issue, but at present what I suspect we are seeing is a newly formed interest in financial planning spurred on by some one the job training, and a knee jerk solution to pass the cognitive buck to an equally ill informed IFA.

I'd be willing to put money on no parties in this scenario being able to tell you where money comes from, and I'd also wager the pension advice given by some posters being equal if not better than whatever IFA will trot out.

CogitOIOIO Tue 23-Dec-14 22:02:03

Subjective? The OP said directly they are worried about his lack of interest in financial matters and asked if anyone else had to deal with family money matters single handed. Is an IFA going to change his attitude or is the OP going to be the only one at the meeting paying any attention?

HappenstanceMarmite Sun 28-Dec-14 15:56:59

On top of that OP has eluded to a desire to speak to an IFA, not the sharpest tools in the box, more like parrots who repeat rote what they have been taught in training seminars by a variety of interest groups.

So to whom should the OP speak for proper guidance then? (Not a rhetorical question - I am genuinely interested for my own reasons)

JuneFromBethesda Sun 28-Dec-14 17:40:08

I'd like to know the answer to that too, Happenstance. If all IFAs are mere parrots then what are us poor ignorant amateurs to do for advice?

To answer your question, OP, yes, I manage the finances in our house - prompted by my husband's lack of financial management over a few years leading to us ending up in a lot of debt. We're nearly debt-free now and have both learned a lot about money - his attitude has completely changed (for the better) and I've realised that I enjoy managing our money. I do keep him involved though and we talk through our budget and plans for the future, so although I take the lead we're still a partnership.

If you started making some plans yourself for your joint financial future, could you get him involved? Even if it's just to say, I'd like us to set up a direct debit to save this much each month? If you take the lead would he follow?

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