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Advice about inheritance row

(11 Posts)
Nutmeg303 Tue 02-Dec-14 12:32:06

Hi, I'm new to the site, so hello everyone.
I have been told I have inherited some money from a friend of my mother's. She and my father have also inherited the same amount. She's a little upset that my siblings have been left out. She has told me that she is sharing the money with my dad, so I should be sharing the money I have inherited with my siblings. She argues this by saying that her friend must have forgotten their names, but she knew her and she is sure this is what she wanted. She is also angry that because she is sharing with my dad, she feels she is getting less than me.

I hate arguments and I love my siblings and my plan was to give them a third of my inheritance, which is a substantial amount. I would like to keep the rest of the money for my own family. I need a sanity check here - but do you think I am being unreasonable? I am under intense pressure, and my dad doesn't stand up to her and I know that my siblings will probably agree with her because they stand to benefit so i feel quite isolated.
Thanks everyone in advance

Bearbehind Tue 02-Dec-14 12:55:11

Sorry- lots of questions-

Have you seen the will? Do you know exactly what it says?

Where you closer to the person who died than any of your siblings?

How many siblings do you have and approx how much money are we talking about?

If it's a big chunk of money and there is no reason why you have inherited it over your siblings then I think unless you divide it equally between you there is going to be huge animosity.

How would you have felt if you hadn't been the one to get it and your siblings didn't give you a share?

The bit about your mother feeling aggrieved because she is sharing it with your father is bizarre - you'd presumably be sharing it with your DH/DP for the benefit of your family too so it's a pointless argument.

zippey Tue 02-Dec-14 13:13:25

This probably wont be helpful but I think you should share the money if you want to, and don't share the money if you don't want to. If your mothers friend wanted other people to share her inheritance then she would have said. Its not hard to find out peoples names.

Personally, I would do something like this. If the amount inherited was £10k, I would give £1k to each of my siblings and keep the rest.

Unfortunately people often fall out over money, but its yours now to decide what your mothers friend would have wanted for the best. You could always say you are giving it to your children for when they are older.

zippey Tue 02-Dec-14 13:16:07

Ive just re-read your OP and you planned to do what I suggested! But, Id warn you that even though it may be generous, some people will still not be happy.

Please do what's best for you.

Vitalstatistix Tue 02-Dec-14 13:18:50

No, I don't think you are being unreasonable.

This woman left her money to who she wanted to. It is not your mum's place to try to tell you what to do.

This woman had every opportunity to find out people's names - what a silly excuse that is of your mum!

It is generous of you to share it. Your mum needs to accept that she is not in control of what happens with that money.

There is probably a reason the money was left to you and not divided between all of you.

ArcheryAnnie Tue 02-Dec-14 13:20:08

I think you need to decide less on the basis of what your mumj is instructing you to do (if her friend wanted to leave it all to everyone equally, then she'd have left it all to everyone equally), and more on the basis of what you want your future relationship with your siblings to be.

DayLillie Tue 02-Dec-14 13:37:34

You need to do what you feel is the right thing with what is your money.

Look at all the options, weigh them up and do what is right by your own standards, not to please anyone else who seem to think they are right.

Your plan sounds good to me.

If the friend had 'forgotten the names' perhaps she just did not know them.

Viviennemary Tue 02-Dec-14 13:42:48

I don't think you have any obligation to hand over any of the money you have inherited. Don't be pressurised by your Mum. If you want to give them a share by all means do. But not because your Mum has said you must. Giving them one third is extremely generous when you are not obliged to give them anything at all.

sooperdooper Tue 02-Dec-14 13:48:41

Did you know her better than your siblings? I think it was her money to give and if she didn't even know the names of your siblings then clearly she didn't know them well enough to leave them money in her will - so your mums argument makes no sense!

choccyp1g Tue 02-Dec-14 13:52:41

My question is WHY do you think she left it to you and not to your siblings? If it was because she had a particular bond or friendship with you then fair enough to keep the bulk for yourself. If you are the oldest and the will was written before the others were born then you should divvy it up equally.

The difference in my mind is whether it was left to you in your own right or as the child of your mother.

Bearbehind Tue 02-Dec-14 13:54:48

There's not much point in posting on this thread - the OP posted exactly the same thread in AIBU and is getting more traffic on there hmm

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