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separating from DH after 25 years with 4 dc . Worried about money x

(8 Posts)
Cantthinkstraightx Sun 16-Mar-14 10:05:47

please can someone tell me how long all the money side of things will take and how I go about officially separating while DH is still living here'.

At the moment we have a joint account and I manage all the bills ect.
We have a joint mortgage.
Eldest is 21 at Uni still comes home weekends for sat job.
next dd was 18 in. Jan and goes to Uni in sep.
Ds 10 and goes to after school 2 or 3 times a week and its only a fiver
Dd is 3 and we employ a nanny .

I work 2 days a week and earn apprx 1000 pm after deductions and pension.
DH earns about 35000
I went on the benefits ready reckoner and don't know if I've done something wrong because its saying as a single parent they would pay me in excess of £800 a month for the 2 small dc if I work part time.
That was just the working part.
I can't claim for the childcare element as her carer is a nanny but more of an extended family, god mother ect . Right or wrong I wouldn't have dd with anyone else but any way I cannot claim .

DH will not just move out .
I am seeing a solicitor next week and it could be 3 or more months before we raise the money for a deposit on a rental property for him. With 4 dc and fuel ect and 2 small credit cards we aren't poor but don't have a spare 2000 to do this quickly .
W e usually do have savings but I took the decision to work the absolute minimum for this last year with my last dd small until she goes to school .Also we had 3 enormous costs at the end of last year.
can I take my name off ourjoint bank account or do something to start the financial separation.
How long would it all take and would they let me claim even with soon to be ex living here still ?
Would I really get over 800 pounds a month CTC

What sort of maintainance are we talking ? I want DH to be financially ok too ?
TIAx x

littlemisssarcastic Sun 16-Mar-14 12:23:07

That sounds about right to me wrt tax credits without the childcare.
As for maintenance, 20% of your husbands net salary is a ballpark figure you'd be looking at. That's what the CSA would say is a minimum. Obviously he could pay more if he wanted to.

Babyroobs Sun 16-Mar-14 12:55:06

The CTC will go down when your next child goes to Uni which is not far away. lso if you are planning to leave the maritial home to rent, you may only get Housing benefit for a few months as you presumably own half the equity in the home and they will expect you to sell and split the equity or your ex to buy you out. I would seek the sdvise of a soliciter as to the best way to proceed as you may be able to stay in the maritial home until your youngest is 18.

Babyroobs Sun 16-Mar-14 13:05:57

Also maintainence is generally 25% of his pay, but I guess that will depend whether he wants to carry on helping with the child at Uni and the one about to go. If he will just be paying for the younger 2, I believe it is 20%. Any maintainence will not, at the moment , affect the benefits you get.

MrsSquirrel Sun 16-Mar-14 13:58:44

You may be able to take your name off the joint bank account, through xh may need to agree to it. Ask the bank what their rules are about this situation. Definitely open your own account(s) in your sole name and have your salary and any benefits paid into there.

It is standard advice not to leave the marital home until there is a settlement, so you may have to put up with xh in the house for a bit. Your solicitor will be able to give you more detailed advice about the financial settlement.

Babyroobs Sun 16-Mar-14 14:26:31

Be careful if you are staying in the same house as him and claiming lone parent benefits though as HMRC, DWP etc may not see you as a lone parent and the rules are very strict. It is possible to reside togehter and claim as single but you are at risk of being investigated. All bank accounts/ bills etc & financial matters need to be seperated, although they do allow some time to do this. Also sorry I misread your op and thought that you were looking to rent somwhere, so ignore my previous advise about Housing Benefit.

MooseBeTimeForSpring Sun 16-Mar-14 14:33:24

You would also need to be living separate lives under the same roof - sleeping in seperate beds, not doing his cooking or washing etc.

veryconfused2 Tue 25-Mar-14 10:43:56

Why don't you ask your nanny to become ofsted registered. It is fairly simple to do. You can then claim 70% of childcare back up to £175 per week if you are elective for working tax credits

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