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Bankrupt rant

(15 Posts)
zafira63 Tue 18-Feb-14 09:43:30

Just a rant to get things of my chest really ;/
I know everyone tries hard to do the best they can in life with a aim to make our children's lives and our own better to.
Now yesterday i had my face spat in by a old member of the family i try my hardest to stay calm i try my hardest to just get on with life and take it as it comes at this moment in time things are really hard in lots of ways financial and in the home haven't to support a son with Aspergers a 16 year old sitting A levels and a 23 year old who's best friend who she grew up with from little being diagnosed with lymph cancer at 23 and is awaiting her results today, So life at home is quite stressful at the moment so why is she doing this you ask, Because 7 years ago her and her husband was losing there house and me and my xh was asked to help them out with quite a lot of money to stop there house being repossessed it was my xh brother and they were quite close i asked him not to lend him the money because i didn't trust them but he went against my wishes and lend them it with the understanding we had it back as soon as this job came in he was getting! Well to cut a long story short and cut out all the arguing it coursed you guessed it we never got paid back and we ended up losing our house and they ended up keeping theres, Ok things happen it can't be changed and you need to move on but were in life is it fair that they now all drive around in 20+ grand cars have boats etc and his brother is declared bankrupt now i know how he gets around this he puts it in his sons name and in his mums address who lives next door to them ok i know he is scamming the system and i know that but why does she feel the need to chase me down the street in my car screaming for me to pull over which i did as it was a danger for me not to, to be told i am a scumbag who is in a rented house with a gay son and a ugly daughter(who was in the car at the time) bless her and who's brother had died of cancer and she was glad and she hoped my mum got her cancer back and died from it next time. i stood there saying nothing as to be honest i couldn't get a word in were she ended with spiting in my face and telling me i needed to watch my back as she had someone out to get me as she wouldn't do it herself because i would call the police (which i would) Altho they can't do anything!i live with this everyday and i feel angry with myself that she should be allowed to do this and get away with it we live in the same area and she makes my life hell but in a way that nothing can be done! I live for Karma but to be honest they won't ever get it them sort of people don't they know how to abuse the system, I am sorry if i sound fed up i just needed somewhere i could write down and have someone listen to me.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 18-Feb-14 11:12:31

There is no such thing as Karma in the sense of 'natural justice' unfortunately. Staying calm and keeping your head down is not working at all. In fact, it is destroying your peace of mind and ruining your life. I suggest you pursue the strategy of legal justice instead. Report the spitting assault & threats to the police as a start point because those are very serious. You're probably holding back because they are relatives but if some random stranger had abused & bullied you like that, you'd have no hesitation. If you know they are scamming the system also report them to the DWP, HMRC or whoever is appropriate.

Get some legal guns on your side and Karma will follow..

zafira63 Tue 18-Feb-14 11:30:08

I think you are right, I don't lose my temper because my daughter hates arguing and to be honest i only want whats right.

I know they are for a fact 100% he puts all the money in his oldest sons name and in his mums address next door so it can't be traced to him so i am not entirely sure they could do anything he is far from stupid. If only that wasn't the case am i bad in thinking if only that wasn't thecae sad does it make me a bad person.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow Tue 18-Feb-14 11:37:22

So they were declared bankrupt? And this is why you didn't get your money back?

Is there any paperwork that shows the loan of the money? If you have evidence that you are a creditor then pursue their assets - anything the husband or wife own should be seized.

Take legal advice about the abuse and about the debt.

zafira63 Tue 18-Feb-14 11:44:08

No it was a brother to brother loan.. sad

And his name is on the bankruptcy site so i know he declared his self bankrupt and puts it all through his older sons name.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow Tue 18-Feb-14 11:52:34

I don't get why they are then being nasty? Is it embarrassment and guilt? Or are they angry with you because you tried to stop the loan?

Or are they just very unpleasant people?

Anyway, you can lodge a complaint with the insolvency service if someone who is bankrupt is behaving dishonestly

They will investigate and if it is as you say then he will be prosecuted for fraud and have assets seized to pay his creditors such as HMRC or a bank etc.

Good luck,

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 18-Feb-14 13:14:59

When someone steals your money, threatens you and spits in your face, there is nothing you can do in return that makes you a 'bad person'. It's been going on for seven years and you have to draw the line somewhere. I believe they are threatening and abusing you so that you keep your mouth shut. So don't worry about what can be proved or not, simply place the problem in front of those in a position to investigate and let them get on with it. Police, the insolvency service, HMRC, whoever is necessary.

You were hoping for Karma but I think, if you want a spiritual perspective, 'god helps those who help themselves'...

zafira63 Tue 18-Feb-14 15:32:39


Thank you for your kind advice.

I think it is because one i tried to stop the loan and she has never forgiven me for that and 2 her daughter is the same age as mine but they are completely different girls mine studies all the time and theres put make up on and never goes to school so she is conceded a nerd in her books she screams at my daughter that she is ugly and that she don't need to go to school because she gets everything she needs of her dad, quite sad really.

I will look into it i am sure you are right, I am normally a person who stands up for my children till the death but on this occasion i think you are right because it is family i tend to hold back and let it go, Which i know is the wrong thing to do and the fact that i thought because he is trading under his sons name i couldn't do anything about it.

zafira63 Tue 18-Feb-14 15:48:16

What is it with me why am i so scared i have just ring them and i have just put the phone down because i feel like a horrible person or is it just the fact that i don't think anything will be done and its pointless i don't know.

BrianTheMole Tue 18-Feb-14 15:52:42

CogitoErgoSometimes and thinkaboutit's advice is spot on. I would follow it.

zafira63 Tue 18-Feb-14 16:21:05

Thank you Brianthemole,

I think it is just because i am scared. sad

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 18-Feb-14 16:31:36

I think you're scared because you're still engaging with them directly. If stranger had spat at you in the street would you be calling them on the phone? Or would you have called the police and asked them to deal with it?

All you need is the courage to contact the authorities. Your relative won't be able to intimidate them the way they try to intimidate you.

zafira63 Tue 18-Feb-14 17:02:19


I know you are right but i have listened and i have rung them and they have given me the name of his case worker to ring as i didn't want to leave my name as its a bit scary to be honest as i have never in my life done anything to hurt anyone, I have always had the motto live and let live, But this time having spat at me and screaming in my daughters face that she is ugly it has gone to far!

Altho i am sure he will be ding it a way that works the system and even i think i knew that deep down and nothing will happen and it will continue but i have at least had some of you to talk to about it. I wish i knew the law but i knew he is just to clever to be doing anything were he will be caught and it pains me more to think that sad

zafira63 Tue 18-Feb-14 17:36:25

Hi Thinkaboutittomorrow

Sorry just read you last bit,

It defiantly is the way i said he was declared bankrupt last year 8 January 2013
StatusDischarged On 18 January 2014

so unsure what that means but i know 100% that all his money is put in his sons name (as they have the same name) and registered next door at his mum address that is were he keeps all the cars they are hardly ever on his drive.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 18-Feb-14 17:45:40

You're not doing this to hurt anyone. You're doing it to get justice for yourself and your DD and also out of civic duty. Have you reported the spitting and threats incident to the police? It's not a 999 blue-light situation but their non-emergency number 101 can be very useful indeed when it comes to abusive people.

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