Just spent the morning cancelling mobile contract, car insurance, contact lenses and any other monthly expenses, ahead of my maternity allowance ending in Feb.
As of 16 feb I will have 0 money at all. All because DP is a higher rate tax payer. No child benefit, no tax credit. Nothing. Similarly because of DPs wage, I can't afford to go back to work as it would cost me money after childcare deductions due to not being eligible for tax credits.
Insane position where I'm being assessed on money that isn't mine.
So do you have joint finances and there is simply not enough money? Or is there enough money in his wage packet but he refuses to share it with you/the new baby & thinks you are responsible for your own costs?
The fault here is how your household finances are set up into his and hers. If you live with and have children with a higher rate tax payer then you can't expect help off the state because 'his money is not yours'. When you have a child with someone the money is household money even if its not all in the same account.
You only say 'higher rate tax payer' but not by how much. He could be earning £200k for all we know.
How many children do you have yourself? Unless you are earning less than min wage, you will be better off after paying childcare, than not going back to work at all.
In the longrun you will be far better off going back to work rather than making yourself financially dependent on someone who wants to keep all his money for himself.
You ARE entitled to child benefit, but if your partner earns more than £50k then part, or all depending on income, of it will be recovered through his tax liability. This doesn't stop you from claiming it.
Clearly though there is more of an issue here, which you need to address together.
I don't mean this to sound nasty but why did you not talk about this pre having children? Its a horrendous position to be in for you, beholden to someone who doesn't want you to be beholden to them. I would be going back to work and telling him what his half share of childcare is. I don't envy you
I just don't understand how people can have children but have separate finances? How do you decide who pays for what? We have a joint account and had a joint account since way before we had children. All our money is joint and I spend whatever is needed on the family. Dh never spends anything! His petrol is on company credit card and then personal miles are deducted from his salary each month, things like his gym and marvel graphic novels are on direct debit, I buy all food etc and whatever is needed for kids, soft pay , parties Xmas etc! I work part time and bring home about a sixth of what he does after tax. But he recognises that I do the majority of childcare and housework and that is just a valuable contribution To the family as his financial contribution.
My DH is a higher rate taxpayer, my new business currently earns nothing but the money that comes in is our money despite it currently only coming from one source. If there isn't enough money coming in at the end of the day you need to look at the finances together. Look at outgoings, look at budgets and see what can be trimmed/juggled around. If you have children together then it is clear that the household income pays for them even if at the moment that income only comes from one source. If your DH can't see that then you need to discuss your relationship as that, I'm afraid rather than finances is what is wrong.
OP, you need to sit down together and go through your finances. Obviously your partner had existing financial commitments in the form of his children before you planned a child together and it's right he manages those commitments properly. As other say, in the long run you will be better off if you return to work, especially if he refuses to give you access to his earnings. Tell him you will need to claim child benefit unless he discusses this with you.
I can't drive - the insurance was learner insurance and I haven't been able to have any lessons since my son was born. So no, not driving around without insurance! And yes, my car is now on the drive waiting to be sold.