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who deals with the finances in your house?

(34 Posts)
zazzabeans Fri 25-Oct-13 14:48:46

Although we have a joint bank account, im the one that sorts out bills,food shopping , clothes etc. Both of our wages get paid into it and our child benefit into a seperate account for xmas, birthdays etc.
I suppose everyone does things differently, one of my friends has to ask her husband for everything and she is happy with that, yet another one of my friends has a different account and her husband covers all of the bills and gives her what she calls "pocket money" she is also happy with that.
just wondering what the norm is lol

DevilsRoulette Fri 25-Oct-13 14:55:09

I don't think there is a norm. I don't think there's one way that is used by a majority significant enough to make it the norm.

I think what matters is that everyone is happy with how it works in their family. Like you say, your friends are happy. I wouldn't be grin but it works for them.

In our house, I do the budget. I have designed an 18mth cashflow forecast on excel. page per month each page broken down week by week, each week 2 columns - 1st planned 2nd actual. It's got all sorts of formulas that carry forward, show spend to date, surplus/deficit... yup. I'm a big nerd grin My husband hasn't got a clue how much money we've got or what we spend on bills unless I tell or show him. This is cos he's idle grin. I don't even think he knows how to log onto the bank accounts. If I drop dead tomorrow, he's screwed

zazzabeans Fri 25-Oct-13 15:06:10

snap ! my husband is clueless aswell smile andwe are both happy with that smile
he earns twice as much as me but that's the way it goes lol.
He has just recently went back to work after being made redundant last December, times were hard but we got through it.
I don't keep spread sheets etc, but I do have a separate diary to write down incomings/outgoings each month, I don't know what I would do if I lost it shock its like my money bible grin

Preciousbane Fri 25-Oct-13 16:07:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DaleyBump Fri 25-Oct-13 16:10:12

DP's wages get paid into his own account and he pays the bills with them. My mat pay gets paid into my account and I sort out food shopping and other expenses. Any left-over money gets transferred into our joint account for other things.

Oodisgonnagetya Fri 25-Oct-13 16:10:36

devils am in awe of your spreadsheet that's Friday night sorted

I run the money here but its all joint accounts apart from a savings account each.

Squitten Fri 25-Oct-13 16:12:15

I'm a SAHM so DH earns the dosh. He set up transfers each month from his wages into a joint/savings account and my own account to cover expenses. He never even activated his card for the joint account and I set up all the online access so he basically can't access any of our money!

I keep an eye on the balances and he just looks at the bottom line when we get the statements through.

ShatnersEmptyCatacomb Fri 25-Oct-13 16:13:42

I do, DH has very little interest.

There is definitely no norm or ideal. Too many variables between households.

sweetheart Fri 25-Oct-13 16:14:34

I don't think there is a norm either - it's just what works for individuals. Dh and I both work FT, all our bank accounts are joint and I have the control (and a lovely spread sheet too!!!) grin

Dh has no idea on our finances, sometimes he asks me stuff and I tell him but he usually gets bored after a few mins. Just because I'm in control though I wouldn't make any big purchases without speaking to him about it first.

He has bank cards and doesn't have to ask permission to spend money.

zazzabeans Fri 25-Oct-13 16:25:46

my dh has very litte interest in money tbh -i like it that way grin although we have discussed buying a computer for the kids to use but he normally just lets me get on with it .

Rosvita Fri 25-Oct-13 21:28:58

We have separate accounts - he pays me his half towards mortgage,bills,1/2 food shop and childcare on payday then all the dd's come out of my account.If there Is a shortfall e.g I overspend on food shop or childcare is slightly more expensive for the month then I cover it (as I am the main earner despite working half the hours dh does). Equally I pay for all the kids clothes,birthday/Xmas presents etc (but then the child benefit gets paid to me). our individual dd's eg for phone, come out of our own accounts.Whatever is left in my account is mine and same for dh - however it is him that will normally 'treat' us to a family meal,takeaway etc and me that pays for family days out such as longleat etc and me who puts away spare into holiday savings.All I ask is that dh pays whatever he
Can afford to spare in addition to his half of the bills for the month if we're saving for something in particular.
Holidays and big purchases are joint decisions but normally funded 70/30 by me I would have said although it does vary.dh hates discussing money and I rip up generic cc applications addressed to him before he has a chance to see them (know from past experience he can't be trusted with a cc!).Holidays/bigger purchases are joint decisions but it's usually me who figures out the best way to go about purchasing things.dh does have a cc in his name which is 0% interest until summer next year which we used to buy cheap flights on for our hol next year before price doubled butthe card is now in my possession and will be paid off in full within the interest free period (dh doesn't know much about importance if not spending on balance transfer cards etc so any cc he's had I've confiscated!).
Friends think we're crazy not to have a
Joint account but I am a control-freak and like to maintain some sort of independence and for us I think a joint account would put unnecessary tension on our relationship.sorry
Long winded answer but there you have it!

Rosvita Fri 25-Oct-13 21:30:18

Po and kids activities paid for by me (as I receive the child benefit which is meant for them anyway!).

Rosvita Fri 25-Oct-13 21:30:33


Rosvita Fri 25-Oct-13 21:32:34

Also in my job I often have the capacity to work 'extra' hours -although I kiss out on sleep or weekends to do this so I am the one who can work a bit extra if I realise that we have bigger spends coming up eg mot,tax,hol,Xmas etc

Purple2012 Fri 25-Oct-13 21:35:04

Me. I work out how much we pay into joint account and decide if we can afford big purchases. Dh has no idea about our finances and always asks me if he can buy something big as I always know if we can afford it or not.

Talkinpeace Fri 25-Oct-13 21:36:37

I'm an accountant.
I do both of our companies accounts and our personal accounts
I handle all bills etc etc
"why have a dog and bark yourself" says DH

runningonwillpower Fri 25-Oct-13 21:38:41

We pool all our money - always have.

But the day to day management falls to my husband. He sorts everything out and reports back as necessary.

It's evolved that way over a number of years. Mainly because he's meticulous (spreadsheets and all) whereas I'm a bit slapdash.

It works for us.

WhoKnowsWhereTheSlimeGoes Fri 25-Oct-13 21:40:31

Me, he earns about 5x what I do, I keep my own pay, he keeps an equivalent amount (this amount is enough for personal spending for each of us) and puts the rest in my offset mortgage, all joint expenses come out of that. He has access to it indirectly via a credit card paid out of it by direct debit. We are fortunate not to have to budget too strictly, so by and large it is all done automatically by DDs.

Mandy21 Fri 25-Oct-13 21:49:38

I do it all but thats because I'm a control freak good at it.

Everything gets paid into a joint account, we each then transfer "spends" into our own accounts.

I look after everything, mortgage, insurances, bills, credit cards, cars, childcare, activities, ,food budget, holidays, presents, house maintenance costs. H sorts out his mobile phone (just!). H doesn't have a clue how much time and effort goes into it, which has been a bone of contention sometimes, but he is hopeless at it so I don't really have a choice.

morethanpotatoprints Fri 25-Oct-13 21:55:47

My dh pays me a wage, lucky me. Out of his money he pays the utilities and out of mine I pay for food, clothing, entertainment, xmas etc. We both have our own accounts. No joint account anymore as we stopped using it.
If one of us is ever short we just ask the other.

MrsPnut Fri 25-Oct-13 21:56:39

We have separate accounts but I am an accountant and so I control all of the money. I have short and long term forcasts for our mortgage and our savings so I know when it's best to be overpaying and when it's best to be saving.

We owe nothing but a small mortgage but use a credit card each for all our day to day spending to gain reward points that we use for extras. They get paid off at the end of every month so it's like free stuff.

gamerchick Fri 25-Oct-13 22:02:10

Well both of us... being with a really crap man for years means I can't let go of all the reigns.

We each have our own bank account.. I bring in roughly half the husbands salary.. He takes care of all the big lumps and his debt and I take care of the little lumps and my debt... If either one of us runs out of money then the other person picks up the slack.

It works pretty good.. I would feel really stressed if it was just one bank account.

BrownSauceSandwich Sat 26-Oct-13 22:55:13

Ours is a pretty even split. We each pay a proportionate amount into the joint account, which covers all the communal expenses. He sorts out the broadband and phone, I arrange insurance, gas and electric, he works out the ratios we pay in and does our financial forecasts, I keep an eye on the financial climate and make the big decisions about the mortgage, we are both in the same final salary pension scheme. And he earns about 10% more than me, but I paid the deposit on our house from the sale of our previous one... Not a lot to choose between us.

Mum2Fergus Sun 27-Oct-13 09:57:45

I do like a good spreadsheet...mine goes to May 2020 as that's when I'm (currently!) due to be mortgage free...yay!

All joint bills come from my ac, DP moved in with me so everything was already set up from my ac anyway. He transfers his contribution to me when he gets paid...we split our contributions based on a %age of overall income, think its 47/53 split at the moment.

DP has little/no idea of day to day costs (bread, milk, etc) but keeps on top of house/utilities expenditure.

Talkinpeace Sun 27-Oct-13 16:52:00

my mortgage free date is September 17th 2014
and counting

then the money starts to pile up for the DCs uni living expenses
diverted into some of the killer expensive but fab A level trips at PSC

we adjust the dividends we take from our companies depending on need and will probably make the kids share holders when they are older

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