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C**t support agency

(18 Posts)
WelshBoris Sun 28-May-06 09:35:43

Because they dont support children, they support the men

My ex has tried every which way to wriggle out of paying full maintenance.

+ he said she sleeps over infact he sees her once a fortnight in his mums

+ he said he has another child living with him infact,he lives on his own in the house we bought together

Each time I rang the CSA and explained the truth to them. This time though he surpassed himself.

His ex wife (they split up before we got together) has a son. My ex-p has always called him his own son, even though he isnt. He has changed his name on the birth certificate aswell (is that legal??)

He has a standing arrangement with his ex to pay £80 a month to her directly. He has now got her to apply to the CSA (they are on good terms)

In other words, my daughter gets £20 less a week because of this. We were living together when I fell pregnant, she was very much wanted but since things have turned sour he thinks he can treat her like this

So, can I ask the CSA to insist on a DNA test? Does it work like that? Can anyone help me?


Freckle Sun 28-May-06 09:43:39

If he and his ex were married, they presumably got divorced and any maintenance for the child would have been dealt with at that time. It doesn't matter if the child was not his biologically. If it had been treated as a child of the family, he would have had a duty to maintain it.

I'm not sure why she is now able to apply to the CSA if there is already a court order in place with which he was complying. Presumably when you put in your claim through the CSA, he would have declared that he was supporting another child at that time.

Chances are that, by applying to the CSA, she may well end up with less than he was paying her previously.

AllieBongo Sun 28-May-06 09:46:26

no advice babes, but sending good bongo vibes your way. are you working today?

WelshBoris Sun 28-May-06 09:48:35

I think they may have made an agreement between themselves, she would apply but he still gives her the same amount.Just so he pays my DD less.

I only had the letter on Friday, I will ring the CSA on Tuesday and ask them

Thanks for replying

WelshBoris Sun 28-May-06 09:49:11

Yeah Im in work Allie love x

AllieBongo Sun 28-May-06 09:49:22

what a bastard boris. you and mini-boris are better off without him

WelshBoris Sun 28-May-06 10:12:14

Yeah but mini boris worships him

Im not doing it to spite him, or for the money. I work hard to provide for my daughter he should do the same.We both wanted her it wasnt just a one night stand

winnie Sun 28-May-06 10:15:59

welshboris, I sympathise. No advice I am afraid. I got child support from x for one year out of 14 and then it just stopped and CSA don't seem to be able to do anything. In these situations it is the children who suffer. It makes me so angry.

Take care & best wishes...

AllieBongo Sun 28-May-06 10:21:05

i know your not money grabbing. I'm sure she loves her daddy, but as she grows up she will know you were always there for her and provided for her. You're fab, I couldn't be as strong as you are..

(must be careful or rhubarb will set her lesser radar on me)

WelshBoris Sun 28-May-06 10:22:22

gissa kiss allie

WideWebWitch Sun 28-May-06 10:23:08

The CSA are totally useless aren't they? Sympathy.

AllieBongo Sun 28-May-06 10:23:52

ok, but no tongues

WelshBoris Sun 28-May-06 10:27:22

Its not the CSA so much its him trying to worm his way out of his responsibilities

Hes 34 fgs

Freckle Sun 28-May-06 10:28:28

She doesn't sound much better if she's prepared to help him evade his responsibilities. How would she feel if you were helping him reduce the amount he pays her??

AllieBongo Sun 28-May-06 10:29:23

yeah, but he's a man so responsibility has to be pummelled into most of them.. it has taken me 12 years to get dh to the reasonable level he's at now. He was crap with money. i put £1500 aside one year for his tax bill when he was self employed and he spent it all on records and crap without me knowing. Now he has to ask me for money

WelshBoris Sun 28-May-06 10:41:21

he is very manipulative, very very good at it.
Only in the last few months have I seen him in his true colours.

If I have to pay legal costs over this, I will. I am not leaving it drop

AllieBongo Sun 28-May-06 10:43:22

you should get help though. keep going girl

WelshBoris Wed 31-May-06 20:26:52

Yes his ex wife has made a claim to the CSA for his step son

I know its stepson, and he counts him as his own, but she has another partner now, and my ex pays her money as it is.

Why be spiteful and do this just to make my DD worse off? She is the one who suffers in the long run

Dont know who im madder at him or her

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