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DP and I are moving in together - what next? (Sorry - long!)

(7 Posts)
Gigaflops Tue 07-May-13 19:19:56

It's very exciting - and also a bit scary... we've both been married before but (he in particular) has been badly burnt financially when the marriage ended. We'd like to make sure all legal and money conflicts have been covered before he actually moves in - so what do we need to consider?

He'll be moving into my, mortgage-free house with DD (4yo) and 2 cats. His two children (12yo DS and 6yo DD) will stay with us every second weekend. The girls are happy to share a room, and DS will have his own.

How do we sort the finances? I'm currently on IS and CTC, which ends when he moves in, and have started a business which is small but has potential of about £1k a month. XH pays me child maintenance of £300 a month. CHB is £87 per month.

DP has an 8-5 job paying around £2200 after tax. Money is tight for him, as he's currently taking about £100 out of his savings each month after expenses, which is not a sustainable situation. He pays child maintenance to his XW of around £450 pm. He owns his own flat, which has a monthly mortgage of £800. He will rent this out, bringing in around £1k per month, which after tax, ground rent and XW's cut leaves him around £450.

Bills on my house will be higher than at DPs flat (bigger place, more expensive area) so he'll inevitably have to spend more living with me. Food and going out should be much cheaper, as we can just stay in and "make our own entertainment"... grin

However we've crunched some numbers and it looks do-able as long as the flat is occupied and his salary stays the same. How do we sort out bills? Shall I continue to pay them, and charge him rent for being here? Or do we open a joint account and each pay in a share? If so, what should each pay?

Also, how do we do this legally? Do we need a formal agreement about who pays for what, who does what around the house, what happens if we buy stuff together etc?

Sorry this is a bit long - we're just trying to be as sensible as we can in the beginning, so that we can have a stress-free life together... Thanks!

ThingummyBob Tue 07-May-13 19:38:35

So he receives £450 after expenses on a flat that costs him £800 per month in mortgage payments?! Therefore it will actually cost him £350 per month to not live there?

If so that is crazy!

Gigaflops Tue 07-May-13 19:43:49

Hi Bob
He's paying the mortgage out of his salary anyway- the £450 rent money will be income that he doesn't currently get; extra money as it were. Does this make sense? I don't think I'm explaining very well!!

sillymillyb Tue 07-May-13 20:22:45

£450 profit after renting out his house? I have nothing useful to add - I was just hoping to clarify for you!

Mum2Fergus Wed 08-May-13 19:12:29

Hi OP, cant comment on some of what you mention but in terms if the household 'split' DP and I each pay a percentage to house ac equal to our individual incomes as a percentage of overall income. Example: if my income is 55% of the total if joint incomes for that month then I pay 55% of that months bills. Hope that makes sense lol oh, and congratulations and good luck for your future together smile

ThreeTomatoes Mon 13-May-13 13:31:07

When DP & I moved in together (I have a dd, he has none) we agreed that the only fair way we could conceive of doing this was to ensure we had the same amount of money left over in our accounts after a standing order into a joint account that pays all joint expenses. We didn't want one of us skint while the other could spend right left & centre, we viewed our new life as a partnership. If that's the way you want to go, you will need to think about what you would include as 'joint' expenses. For us, it is:

Child care
dd's Clothes/shoes/pocket money/school dinners/school trips
Savings for such as holidays, nice things for the house,etc

We are however responsible for our own overdrafts, bank loans etc, which means I was technically worse off than DP till it was paid off, but I didn't think it was fair for DP to take on some of my personal debt that had had nothing to do with him!

We're yet to make a will, we really must. Both in terms of what happens if either of us die, and what happens if we split. IMO, the most important things to think about are (esp if you're not married, or even if you are actually):

- Care of the DC - do you want your DP to have PR and take on their care if anything happened to you, or would they go to another relative or your XH?
- Who inherits your house, money etc if anything happens to you - DP or your DC?
- Same goes for your DP's house/mortgage, what happens to that if something happens to him?

Everything else, the daily living stuff, who does what around the house, what happens to joint purchases, I don't really see as a big deal.

Lavenderandlimes Thu 16-May-13 12:49:39

I may be incorrect but I would recommend him paying you as little as possible. Ie no rent. If he does he may have some claim on your house if you split up. Get something drawn up legally for this. You also need to make sure your will is up to date if you are living together.

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