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Can someone tell me how many years it would stay a tight as this?

(28 Posts)
whosthis Tue 23-Apr-13 17:11:13

DS is six months and I am going back to work soon. Having done my calculation, it's crystal clear that the financial aspect of my side wouldn't be any better than now - newly a thousand per month for childcare. DH's the only one who's going to pay all the bills, including mortgage for the other 25+ years.

Feel stressed out and depressed to think we have to live this for quite a few years. Basically, with a saving of a few hundreds maxi per month, we can't even afford traveling easily for a fairly long time.

We are both over mid thirty and therefore have to plan the second child soon. That's the other few years plus of stretch for childcare!

Can anyone tell me is it going to improve ever? Is it true the first few years are most difficult? I am hoping perhaps only after both kids start school we could manage to regain any sort of quality of life again?

Am I over pessimistic or it can be eben worse over years?

Really need to win lottery...

BearsInMotion Fri 26-Apr-13 02:56:11

I know exactly how you feel OP, I'm in the same boat and we don't even own our house, I have no idea how we'll ever save a deposit sad But also late 30s so couldn't leave TTC any later. DD may be only DC just for financial reasons sad sad

Anomaly Fri 26-Apr-13 07:03:26

Costs definitely do go down. My advice would be to have at least 3 years between kids so your eldest qualifies for funding. If you can plan for a Jan-Mar birthdays for your next child as long as school starts in September at 4. Do what you can to cut childcare bills eg one of you does the nursery run while the other goes to work early. Then swap for pick up. Look into doing condensed hours and see if either employer offers childcare vouchers.

WTFisABooyhooISBooyhoo Fri 26-Apr-13 10:19:02

"we both grew up with brothers/sisters and believe it's a very good thing for the kids and of course for us as well as long as we enjoy it more than getting stressed about it."

please dont take this the wrong way, but from your posts here, you seem like you might struggle to not get stressed out about it, especially if money is quite tight. of course evertone gets stressed at times when raising children but if you are a highly strung person by nature then it's maybe not such a good idea to add to your stress because of some ideology you have. you really should be logical about choosing to have another baby and if the lack of money is stressing you out this much with a 6 month old then i think you should really work on your stress management before making any big decisions that will set you off.

i grew up with a stressed out mum and trust me, it wasn't any fun. having a sister didn't make up for that.

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