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If you are at home with the children how do you and DH/P manage money.

(23 Posts)
Vespar7 Fri 22-Mar-13 16:35:56

For the next year at least I will be at home with DD while DH goes to work. We have just moved abroad and I can't speak the language yet so will be a while before I can work and even then I would like to work part time. DP says I can have full access to his account but I heard wives of his friend's saying they get an certain amount of money each month for themselves. They like this because it means they can save money. Just wondering what other couples do?

PiHigh Fri 22-Mar-13 16:41:36

We have joint accounts that Dh pays into to cover bills/food etc. The leftover money is split equally between the two of us into our own bank accounts. I like keeping my own account and also means it's easier to buy birthday/xmas presents for him without him knowing what they are.

habbibu Fri 22-Mar-13 16:42:20

Yy, same as pi. Works well.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 22-Mar-13 16:43:29

Same as Pi.

habbibu Fri 22-Mar-13 16:44:20

We did this when I worked before too, and will when I work again.

JoandMax Fri 22-Mar-13 16:44:26

One set of accounts (current, savings etc) - all joint and we both have full access to.

CockyFox Fri 22-Mar-13 16:47:33

We have a joint account. We are both free to use it in anyway we want neither of us questions the other one on spending. We don't have separate accounts but both have a credit card with £500 limit that we use at christmas and birthdays to ensure presents are a surprise (paid off in full from joint account as soon as spent).

knitterati Fri 22-Mar-13 16:50:49

One joint account that DH puts into for bills etc then he gives me some money each month which goes into my personal account & no questions are asked about how I spend it.

AnythingNotEverything Fri 22-Mar-13 16:51:27

We pool all our money and have an account each for personal spending I.e. jewellery, lunch out with friends, nights out, golf, gym, clothes (except suits/special occasion wear ...), so we have te freedom of private spending, but share everything else. My husband earns almost double what I do, but we still get the same monthly allowance.

We've done this for about four years and its perfect for us.

AnythingNotEverything Fri 22-Mar-13 16:52:29

I should add - I don't expect this to change when our next LO comes along in October. Except we'll spend less on golf and the gym for a while!

rocketleaf Fri 22-Mar-13 17:01:00

We have separate current accounts, most of the bills and the mortgage come out of mine and he DDs me a set amount each month, plus i get the CB and Tax credits. We pay for big items depending on who is flush (give you a clue, it's never me) Then I 'pay myself' a top up out of my savings if necessary. That hasn't happened much recently as I have a very small business that keeps me afloat.
I know we probably should have joint accounts but we've done it like this for over ten years and i CBA to change it now.

MrsJohnDeere Fri 22-Mar-13 17:11:19

Two joint accounts (one for the mortgage, one for everything else), savings accounts in my name for tax reasons, other account in dh's name for work expenses.

Both trust each other to spend wisely and consult each other before any outlandish purchases.

Potterer Fri 22-Mar-13 19:47:44

We've been married a long time and have the same attitude towards money and spending. I have been a SAHM for 8 years.

Child benefit is paid into my account. I withdraw it as cash and it pays for the window cleaner, school stuff where they need to take £1 in, Dh's football any small treats whilst we are out, ice cream from an ice cream van etc.

For everything else, we have a joint account for direct debits and a credit card in DH's name and I am an affiliated card holder. I am allowed to spend on whatever I want wink Dh knows I won't go and buy Jimmy Choos, I am just not that materialistic re clothing or shoes.

As it is a reward card we tend to use it for everything we can, it does get paid in full automatically from the joint account every month.

Every year we sit down in front of a spreadsheet which breaks down all our spending from the mortgage, petrol, supermarket, holidays, clothing etc etc and we talk it through.

We have a joint savings accounts, some short term some long term ones all in joint names.

Anything above the ordinary spending we talk about before hand. Dh is over generous toward me re money. I never have to ask for money, nor ask permission to spend money. It truly is considered ours for the family.

Chandon Sun 24-Mar-13 10:40:58

Joint account, plus individual accounts. We lived expat for 8 yrs. You can feel trapped.

I called it my "running away money" in my mind, ie a bit of financial independence.

Dededum Sun 24-Mar-13 10:49:18

Joint account, I am presently not working. Everything is shared and I keep an eye on everything. Though he likes to earn it, DH is not really interested in the minutiae. We discuss biggish purchases and I make the financial decisions.

Vespar7 Mon 25-Mar-13 07:03:00


Think I will suggest a set amount each month to be transferred to a separate account and then all household expenses etc to come out of the main account. Is hard getting my head around the fact that I don't have my own salary any more!

jenbird Mon 25-Mar-13 19:23:36

We made all my dh's accounts joint when I stopped working. I still have my own account but rarely use it. All money goes into the ja and I am in charge of managing it. My dh sees it as "our money" and that my job is running the home so we are equal.

PicaK Mon 25-Mar-13 22:24:45

OP - yes it does take a while to get used to it. It will stop feeling strange and unnatural after about 6 months.

I'm one of those that needs my "own" spending money. It really is down to what works for you two though.

BadLad Tue 26-Mar-13 04:32:51

Hello Vespar,

This thread from mse might be of interest. It starts with a question involving a two-income family, but it is nevertheless a good discussion on whether to split money into separate accounts or to keep it in one joint one.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Tue 26-Mar-13 04:48:04

To be honest OP I think the mechanics are less important than the fundamental principle that money earned by the WOHP belongs equally to the WOHP and the SAHP. Problems arise when the SAHP feels they have to "ask for money" or justify spending anything on themselves to the WOHP.

I am working now but when I was a SAHP, Dh got paid into own account, paid the joint credit card bill, kept a bit back for himself, and then put the rest into the joint account which I then accessed for cash . Balance at the end of the month got swept into a joint savings account.

Now I'm working it's the same and my salary gets paid into my account but is all saved for future school/ Uni fees for the DC.

galwaygirl Tue 26-Mar-13 05:43:06

Hi vespar, we are just starting into a similar situation - have moved country to DH's home town, I don't speak the language and won't be working for at least two years as I am expecting number 2 in June plus we will have to move again to the capital for me to work.
My plan was that we would just have joint accounts for everything although we are keeping our savings in the UK in my name as FX rate is at a 20 year low and that helps me psychologically to feel like I have money to escape if needed! I hadn't thought about small separate personal spending accounts - the biggest issue for me is that DH's salary goes directly into an account I've access to for bills etc - but that seems like potentially a good idea...
I've been significantly the main earner in our relatonship to date so this change is a big one to handle! X

Vespar7 Tue 26-Mar-13 06:50:26

Thanks everyone for your advice. DP has said that it is our money a number of times so there is no issue there. I guess I will just get used to our new situation. While we were in the UK I paid earned a fair bit more than DP so paid for most household stuff. In a way that makes me feel better because now it's just another stage in our relationship!

Vespar7 Tue 26-Mar-13 06:57:03

BadLad thanks for the link. Because I'm the first one of my friends to have a baby I have stupidly been feeling a little weird not working and depending on DP's income when all my friends are still working. It's nice to remember that there are so many other people in this situation!

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