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How much does his ex really get?

(505 Posts)
WaspFactory Wed 09-Jan-13 11:11:34

How much money does a single parent get in benefits? I ask because my partner is paying his ex over the odds in maintenance because he thinks she is getting next to nothing. However, a friend of mine says his ex gets more money than him due to the amount of benefit she receives.

Can anyone tell me how much (roughly) per month it's possible to get as a single SAHM with one child? Bearing in mind that she is living in their old house with a mortgage on it?

Booyhoo Wed 09-Jan-13 11:32:10

my comment is still relevant groundhog because the woman's income does NOT affect the 15% minimum that he has to pay!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 09-Jan-13 11:32:42

Wasp - do you think it is reasonable that your SD should lose out because you and your partner decide to have a baby?

What is your DP's view? Because he sounds like a decent bloke paying what he thinks is a fair amount. My DH earns very good money, and even 15% of his salary is still fuck all when you think of all the things that children need. A warm dry house, food, clothes, some toys, books, school trips, days out, the occasional holiday, shoes, music lessons, ballet classes, rugby club - all things you would like to be able to give your (as yet hypothetical) child, yes?

I would encourage that level of understanding in a man I was thinking about having babies with - not persuading him that children don't need much really, because it might put ideas in his head about what you do and don't need while you're on mat leave, or if your relationship breaks down in future.

Be careful what you wish for.

Booyhoo Wed 09-Jan-13 11:33:10

hmm people say NOYB all the time on here!

groundhogday17 Wed 09-Jan-13 11:33:11

But the OP isn't asking about how much he has to pay, or questionning it, so you bringing that up is irrelevant

Booyhoo Wed 09-Jan-13 11:33:45

her income is still none of OP's business.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 09-Jan-13 11:35:15

Wasp - benefits to single mothers now get cut quite sharply when their youngest child is 5, this is a big change from how things were a couple of years ago. So as time goes on your SD will need more, not less, of her father's money.

ArtexMonkey Wed 09-Jan-13 11:35:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shine0ncrazydiamond Wed 09-Jan-13 11:36:23

None of your business.

As others have quite rightly said.

24joy Wed 09-Jan-13 11:36:43


titchy Wed 09-Jan-13 11:38:01

You don't get HB unless you're in rented. You can get your interest paid if you're on JSA, but only for 6 months so presumably she is paying the mortgage with whatever your dp gives her. So yes she probably does have very little and good on him for supporting her ability to keep his kids in their old house.

DoubleYew Wed 09-Jan-13 11:38:18

15% of my ex salary in no way pays enough to raise ds. Good on your partner that he pays more than the minimum. Agree that his existing child should be a priority for him.

It is not up to you to decide how much is enough for the mother and dc to live on, it is a responsibility he took on when she gave birth. You should have known this when you got together with a father.

WaspFactory Wed 09-Jan-13 11:38:23

Thanks Big. In my defence, we will need to think about reducing the money if/when I go on ML so I just wanted to have a clearer idea of her financial situation. After all, I am contributing to her child's welfare.

Um, why all the nastines towards the op ?? If he's paying so much he's struggling to pay towards the home he shares with her she has every right to wonder, it doesn't make her an evil crone.

Op, as far as I'm aware single mums get to keep all of the child maintenance money these days ( in ye olden days it would be taken off any benefits ) just go on the entitled to website to work it out.

And good on him for doing the right thing, point him in the direction of my sisters ex who's paid bugger all for any of the five kids he's fathered.

shine0ncrazydiamond Wed 09-Jan-13 11:39:15

And it makes no difference how much money she has. He pays 15% of his income and this is the minimum that the CSA recommend. It is based on HIS income, not hers.

I'd wind your neck in if I were you.

Booyhoo Wed 09-Jan-13 11:39:29

me 24joy? do you provide your financial information to any nosey bugger that asks for it? do you think you should have to just because someone wants to know? do you think because someone may receive benefits their financial information should be public property?

NatashaBee Wed 09-Jan-13 11:40:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhistlingNun Wed 09-Jan-13 11:40:49

Wasp - have to echo what others have said. What your OH LEGALLY has to pay has no bearing whatsoever on what his ex gets.

Your best bet is to get onto the CSA calculator, type in your ex's income and base it on that. If he wants to stip his maintenance down to the minimum - that'll tell him how much it will be.

If it helps, I'm a single parent to one child and used to get benefits when she was a baby.

I got approx £60 a week in Income Support.
£20 in Child benefit.
£45 in Child tax credit.

I also got HB and council tax credit, but don't like to count this as income as i'm not actually getting the cash iyswim? It went straight from DWP to the council.

My ex tried to palm me off with £5 a week. I went to CSA, had to get a detachment of earnings order and he now has to give me £30 a week.

Money is aboslutely shit when you're an LP to one child. After all my bills were paid i was left with £20-£30 a week to feed and clothe us, buy formula/nappies etc.

It must be even harder when having a mortgage; as far as i know, she'll be getting no help with that at all.

I'm now working and receive WTC. But i'd rather not disclose my current financial state if that's all the same.

Your post comes across quite cruel. But maybe that's me just being over sensitive because i've been where his ex has been.

Word of warning - seriously don't go below the legal minimum he's giving her. Use CSA calculator.

Think of the child, not her. It might make you more compassionate when coming to your final decision.

OptimisticPessimist Wed 09-Jan-13 11:40:58

Totally agree with Alibaba. You should be glad your DP sees it as important to financially support his child, especially if you intend to have children with him.

HB won't pay her mortgage, it's only for rent. She may have her council tax covered currently, but many councils are reducing this entitlement or reducing it altogether. She may also be paying back overpayments in one of her benefits or repaying things like crisis loans if she's had need of them. You can find out basic entitlements online fairly easily but no one can tell you how much she is receiving or comment on whether she can reasonably cover her outgoings on that income and, as many others have said, that's all fairly irrelevant anyway.

Booyhoo Wed 09-Jan-13 11:41:29

"Um, why all the nastines towards the op ?? If he's paying so much he's struggling to pay towards the home he shares with her she has every right to wonder, it doesn't make her an evil crone."

it still doesn't make the woman's income any of Op's business either!

WaspFactory Wed 09-Jan-13 11:41:40

Wow, didn't expect this reaction. Suddenly my BF is a saint and I'm an evil witch trying to make sure my partner's ex lives on the scraps from our table!

NatashaBee Wed 09-Jan-13 11:42:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shine0ncrazydiamond Wed 09-Jan-13 11:43:09

You don't sound like an evil witch. You just don't sound very 'for the sisterhood' do you?

Vagaceratops Wed 09-Jan-13 11:43:24

What does your DP earn?

15% of this is what he should be paying, regardless if she is on benefits, minimum wage or £100 an hour.

WhistlingNun Wed 09-Jan-13 11:43:31

After all, I am contributing to her child's welfare.

Really...? Isn't it just your OH's income that's counted for maintenance?

Booyhoo Wed 09-Jan-13 11:45:07

i agree natashabee OP your partner's EX and how he treats her is a glimpse at a possible future for you if you were to have a child and split up (dont say it would never happen) so think about how you'd like him to treat you in that situation.

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