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(57 Posts)
Bubblenut Sun 23-Dec-12 19:56:17

I'm so frustrated and quite honestly ... Jealous!!!

I have a friend who started life with a child the same way I did but we took different paths. She is on benefits and works a few hours a week since some government proposal to get people into employment. We both had a child around the same time and her husband left her. I had to run from my partner and was abandoned by my family at the start for having a child out of wedlock.

We were both on benefits for about a year when our children were born - I decided to go back to uni to train in education. She didnt. She only took a job this year (our children are now 12). I calculated that I work 46 hours a week, never got to pick up or drop off my child, go on class trips etc - seems silly but things like that mean a lot to me and was a treat to my daughter on the rare occasions I could pick her up.

She was given a lovely flat in a nice area, this year alone went to Spain twice and New York once, bought her child a blackberry for Christmas, good music system etc.

I love my friend a lot and she is a great person but I feel so frustrated that now she has a new car!

My husband (not daughters biological father ) and I work our arses off in good jobs but can't afford to buy a house ... Not even a car which we desperately need! Our money is going down the drain on rent

How can that be? Surely we should have more to spend than she should on benefits!!! I just don't understand!

I'm at the point where I feel I made a mistake by going back to uni.

I feel like a cow for feeling this way but I feel so ticked off when I see her with lovely clothes and all these things while we work and work to cover bills etc.

I haven't read over this post as I'm fast typing my vent.

Am I being unreasonable feeling like this?

suzydelarosa Mon 24-Dec-12 16:53:29

Here's the solution: hang around with people who work. Then you'll spend your time wondering why you're not making as much as your friends who have better incomes!

JakeBullet Mon 24-Dec-12 17:06:25

No mortgage on just DLA as an income. He may have been working too...DLA is not an out of work benefit. Lots of people get it to help them carry on their daily lives. They might well use it to keep themselves in work.

This might also mean they are able to get a mortgage
My feeling is that he will have laid down a big lump sum. I get DLA for DS but I certainly could not afford to buy a £250k house ....even if I could get a mortgage.

WankinginaWinterWonderland Mon 24-Dec-12 17:15:15

My Dad happened to phone when I was on here... the DW was working the DH was on DLA, they bought the house then both went on DLA. Then he was caught out.... sorry he always missed some details out!

Glitterknickaz Mon 24-Dec-12 17:44:42

Oh bollocks. Was hoping this shite had fucked right off for Christmas.

Oh well. Hopefully those with the bigotry will feel some nice festive karma soon.

perceptionInaPearTree Mon 24-Dec-12 19:53:44

'I have 3 friends with different family set up who are entirely better off on benefits than me and my husband are while working 120hrs a week between us.'

How do you know this methe? Do you actually see their bank accounts?

perceptionInaPearTree Mon 24-Dec-12 20:01:01

When my ex-h and I had our first baby dd quite a few years ago and under the last Labour government, my ex-h was on a training salary and we depended on tax credits and HB to get by. We had just enough money to cover food, rent and bills and no money to buy clothes for ourselves (we made sure dd had clothes). We certainly had no money for any luxuries at all. We had no car.

Under this government things are worse. So don't tell me people on benefits are rolling in it and it's all a big secret they try to keep quiet angry

RedHelenB Tue 25-Dec-12 08:22:24

You wouldn't get a mortgage though if you weren't employed. DLA is given regardless of whether you work or not & is intended to help with your disability. (obviously if you are lying then there are no extra costs!!!!)

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