I'm so frustrated and quite honestly ... Jealous!!!
I have a friend who started life with a child the same way I did but we took different paths. She is on benefits and works a few hours a week since some government proposal to get people into employment. We both had a child around the same time and her husband left her. I had to run from my partner and was abandoned by my family at the start for having a child out of wedlock.
We were both on benefits for about a year when our children were born - I decided to go back to uni to train in education. She didnt. She only took a job this year (our children are now 12). I calculated that I work 46 hours a week, never got to pick up or drop off my child, go on class trips etc - seems silly but things like that mean a lot to me and was a treat to my daughter on the rare occasions I could pick her up.
She was given a lovely flat in a nice area, this year alone went to Spain twice and New York once, bought her child a blackberry for Christmas, good music system etc.
I love my friend a lot and she is a great person but I feel so frustrated that now she has a new car!
My husband (not daughters biological father ) and I work our arses off in good jobs but can't afford to buy a house ... Not even a car which we desperately need! Our money is going down the drain on rent
How can that be? Surely we should have more to spend than she should on benefits!!! I just don't understand!
I'm at the point where I feel I made a mistake by going back to uni.
I feel like a cow for feeling this way but I feel so ticked off when I see her with lovely clothes and all these things while we work and work to cover bills etc.
I haven't read over this post as I'm fast typing my vent.
I can tell you that there is no way she would be able to afford that from benefits alone. You don't know all the ins and outs of her bank account - maybe someone else paid for those things? So stop being jealous and mind your own business, frankly.
Well you must be delighted the Tories are in power because their attack on the benefits system will continue. Perhaps you will be pleased if your friend is one of the thousands who will be forced to leave her home due to the benefits cap. You can smile to yourself when she is forced to chose between fuel and food. What a fabulous life those on benefits lead.
I am financially worse off out work. No lies, no fudging of issues my income is down even including housing benefit as I knew it would be.
Hope that keeps some of you happy and able to sleep tonight.
This is a benefits bashing thread pure and simple so can I just shout loudly ....
I CANNOT AFFORD A NEW CAR I CANNOT AFFORD TO GO TO NEW YORK. I CAN'T AFFORD A HOLIDAY .... I STRUGGLE IF MY CAR NEEDS REPAIRS....my son is autistic and not able to cope on public transport. I CAN'T AFFORD NEW CLOTHES I BUY FURNITURE SECOND HAND AND CLOTHES TOO I DON'T BOTHER WITH HAIRDRESSERS UNTIL MY HAIR NO LONGER LOOKS "OKAY" EVEN WITH STRAIGHTENERS
YES I AM SHOUTING BECAUSE TOO MANY OF YOU ASSUME I AND ECERYONE ELSE ON BENEFITS ARE LIVING THE LIFE OF RILEY...I AM NOT AND NOR ARE MOST OTHERS I KNOW
I have many friends on benefits (disabled). They are all having an utterly miserable time and finding life very difficult. I am worried for them.
There are occasionally very cheap flights to New York. If you are in a position where you can save, a holiday is possible and why shouldn't it be?
I think it's very likely she'd rather have a husband, have a career etc. than be single and able to go on nice holidays. Long term, it's miserable relying on government hand outs. Honest.
If I were you I would be shaking my fist at the government with regards house prices/no rent controls/poor policies which have led to a housing shortage which have all resulted in you struggling (let's face it, rents are ridiculous in many areas) rather than a friend who is on benefits. Where's it going to get you, being frustrated with her?
I'd maybe guess you don't know the full facts. We're on benefits through no choice of our own and struggle to pay essential bills never mind Xmas presents for our kids and we haven't been on holiday since well never!!
I am not on benefits OP. I am one of those people who works very long hours with small children, misses important occasions and finds it hard to pay bills sometimes. I too get frustrated and annoyed by that.
But you know what? That is MY issue. That's life - it's not always easy.
And you know what, when I grew up my mum was on benefits because she was sick. It was shit. We didn't have anything. We were scared to spend any money. We all hated our money not really being "ours" and terrified that someone would take it away.
The number of people who are benefiting genuinely from the benefits system are very small. Most people - like the ones on this thread - live very modest lives and want to work. The benefits system is there to help when they can't or are unable to or the work isn't there.
I'm happy to pay my taxes for that. Because if I needed benefits myself, I'd want them to be there. And I wouldn't want to feel shit because friends were judging my spending. That's the point of the system - you put into the pot so those who need it (which might be you one day) can take it out.
I hope you don't need benefits ever yourself OP as it's not really a thrill for most people.
It's your lives after the children reach 18 that will make the difference, that's when she will have to move to a smaller place in maybe not such a nice area . with no income whereas you will have a career, money etc. With a job you have a chance of owning a home, no chance of getting a mortgage on benefits.
She probably gets a load of maintenance from her ex. So what? She's allowed to keep it. or maybe she's good at saving. Maybe she already had savings or won a competition or scratchcard. Maybe her house and car and bills etc are all cheaper than yours and/or cheaper to run. Maybe her parents gift her stuff. Maybe a combination of all of that and she's just a very lucky woman.
It's nothing to do with you either way, and your jealousy makes you look horrific. Ugh.
I have always thought this too, until last night, my Dad was telling me about a couple he knows, both on DLA, (more than Jobseekers and ELA) they bought a £250,000.00 house, he knows them from his school days, they were in the paper, the DH was caught out giving his garden a full revamp, caught laying slabs etc... he has to pay back 6 years benefits he claimed, he apparently had terrible back problems, or not as it would seem!