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Is it normal that me and my husband doesnt have a joint account?

(21 Posts)
asianmum Thu 11-Oct-12 13:49:00

My husband and i are married for few years now but we have no joint account. He is the only one working so that means that all the money is in his bank account. He gives me access to it online but still he can check where Im spending the money. But if i want to go the shops, i have to ask money from him or use a credit card. I have got no problem with it a lot. Its just that Im wondering if its really how it works in the Uk? Im planning to go back to work soon and one of the reasons is I want to have my own money.

CharminglyOdd Thu 11-Oct-12 13:54:36

I think everyone's arrangements should work for them and I've read posters on here who say they don't have a joint account but if one is a SAHP the SAHP always has access to their own individual account that money is transferred into for them to do with as they please. I would be wary of having to ask for money.

DP and I have a joint account for joint expenses and individual accounts for our wages, which we then transfer into the joint account if needed. In practice it gets a bit blurred around the edges as we don't keep strict tabs and he out-earns me (is older) by a lot so it will always be a bit unequal.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 11-Oct-12 14:10:15

Everyone will have a different system but I personally think every woman, SAHM or not, should have their own bank account as basic. I don't think its healthy for one person in the relationship to have 100% control of the money and for you to have no privacy in your transactions just because you're a wife. Whether you're earning, get an allowance or whether all you've got coming in is the child benefit and tax credits, you should have something that is yours to manage, and not have to ask for money.

scaevola Thu 11-Oct-12 14:25:25

asianmum 'Im wondering if its really how it works in the Uk?'

No. There is no one pattern, but whatever arrangement you come up with should be acceptable to both. I'd always thought we were unusual in not having a joint account, tbh, but that's what suits us partly because I've always had my own income. Or if you have no income you could have your own and have him pay in your share of household income (for whichever bills and necessary expenses you pay, plus your fair share of discretionary disposable).

I think it is wise to have your own account: I agree that you should not always have to be asking, and it's easier to keep everything going if a disaster strikes and everything is in the other's name.

TheInvisiblePoster Thu 11-Oct-12 14:31:53

Me and DH have our own bank accounts but share the cost of everything. He pays the rent which is a big chunk, he also pays for a loan that we have. I pay utilities and food but if i'm short on cash he gives me his bank cardsmile

Babyledscreaming Thu 11-Oct-12 14:37:11

I am in the same position as you. We have separate accounts, but he earns all the money. We have never got round to having a joint account and previously I earnt but have been unable to get a job after moving 2 years ago. He has arranged a monthly transfer to my account which seems to avoid me having to constantly ask for money. Seems to work well.

DinosaurSchool Thu 11-Oct-12 14:40:37

We have one account for everything. I am a sahm, dh works though it was the same when I was working. I do find it odd that married/co-habiting couples do anything else but horses for courses and all that!

Bunbaker Thu 11-Oct-12 14:54:22

There have been umpteen threads on this subject and the answer is that there is no one single way. OH and I have a joint account because it works for us. We trust each other and don't go overboard with our spending. We find it simple and practical and don't have to keep moving money around accounts to stay in credit or pay bills, and there is no his and hers responsibility either. All of our income and bills go into and out of this account. We do have separate savings accounts though.

asianmum Thu 11-Oct-12 15:46:14

I've got a bank account and the only money coming into it is te child benefit which will be stopped in 2013 as his income does not qualify anymore. Meaning, I will have nothing at all in 2013. Sometimes, he gives me a bit of cash but then he'll ask for it again if he needs an emergency cash. I don't want to hide anythng from him but I'm beginning to think about it now as I'll end up with nothing.

Pagwatch Thu 11-Oct-12 15:54:28

I don't think that the system employed matters with one exception. I strongly believe that being placed in the position of having to ask for money is almost impossible to navigate and emerge feeling like equal partners.
I think it can place one person in the position of parent and the other as a hold asking for pocket money.

I am sure someone could honestly post 'I have no money or account but it works fine'
But I think most of the time if one person is a sahp then having access to money without having to ask for it - like asking for a handout - is a recipe for an unequal relationship.
I would not tolerate such an arrangement.

Bunbaker Thu 11-Oct-12 17:00:55

I agree Pagwatch

AshieFan Fri 12-Oct-12 15:00:25

Like most people have said, different families do different things when it comes to money management. Are you able to talk to your husband about it and try a way of sorting it out so that you are both happy? A set amount that can go into your account each month so you feel a bit more independent? I've been in a situation where I did not earn anything and relied on my (then) DH for money - we set up a standing order for a set amount each month. We reviewed it when he got a pay rise and once a year.

Some men (and women) can be funny about money. My current DP wont talk about money and I actually have no clue how much/little he may have whereas I am very open about how little money I have!

RiversideMum Sun 14-Oct-12 13:17:14

I heard on the radio that the child benefit changes will work like this ... people earning over £50K (?) will be written to by the tax office and asked if someone in their house claims child benefit. If they answer yes then they will pay additional tax up to the total value of the CB depending on their income. People will also have the option of surrendering the CB if they find that easier. As someone who does not have a joint bank account, I'd go for the first option I think. There are also pension issues surrounding SAHMs and CB which I doubt that that Govt has thought through. This method of doing things means that a new DP who earns more than £50K will have to pay tax on the CB a woman is getting for the children from a previous relationship while the father of the children pays nothing extra. Go figure.

SauvignonBlanche Sun 14-Oct-12 13:26:17

It doesn't sound very 'normal' to me.
DH and have always had equal access to our money, it was still our money was I was on mat leave and still ours when he was redundant.
Your arrangement does not sound like a partnership of equals.

EdithWeston Sun 14-Oct-12 13:27:07

asianmum: if you are not working, it is vital you DO NOT stop your CB claim, for you need the NI credits that come with it for your long term record (and entitlement under current arrangements to the state pension).

Let your DH sort out the clawback

(I still have hopes they might abandon this truly dreadful proposal, which under current law requires people to do things which are currently illegal, and which has attracted criticism from accountants' professional organisations. It really is an omnishambolic mess and was a clear demonstration that this Govt is no better than the last at coming up with properly thought through proposals).

BadLad Mon 15-Oct-12 06:04:15

I think the majority of couples do have joint accounts, but it is certainly not unheard of not to. But I agree that having to ask for money when you need it is not healthy.

I am always interested in this sort of thread.

fallinghailstones Mon 15-Oct-12 11:21:01

I think generally it's better to have a joint account, as it just makes things easier to administer, especially if one partner is out of the country/has to go to hospital. My DSis used to have separate accounts and got into a tough situation when her DH had an accident, as he obviously couldn't authorise payments and she had nothing to pay bills with!

I do have separate accounts from DH at the moment, but for practical reasons - I had a lot of debt from when I was a single parent and was forced to go bankrupt. I am discharged now but it's better for DH's credit rating to keep separate accounts until it falls off the credit reference files in a few years. If we'd had a joint account it would have put our home and savings at risk. I do have full access to his account and use it for online payments, but it's all in his name so it's out of reach of any creditors etc.

LadyLapsang Sat 20-Oct-12 13:26:27

My husband and I have our own accounts but then we've both always worked. When our DS was small and he earnt a lot more than me he picked up more of the bills. Once you are back at work and earning your own income it should be fairly straightforward to open a bank account in your own name in the UK I think.

vodkaanddietirnbru Sun 21-Oct-12 08:20:26

I have 2 of my own accounts (with not a lot of money in them as I am a sahm!). I was added to dh's account when we got a mortgage as it was in joint names and it made it easier if we got cheques in joint names as they can only be paid into a joint account. I have a card for the joint account and can use it for whatever I want (within reason!). Child benefit goes into an account in my sole name and is the only credit to that account. I use it as emergency cash when we run out of money in the joint account. We will also lose it when the child benefit rules change

SoulTrain Sun 21-Oct-12 08:28:18

I agree with Cogito. I don't think it's a good idea to be solely dependent on another for money. My DH and I have a joint account for household expenditure which we put in an amount which is appropriate for our earnings, I earn way less than him. We each then have our own account for personal spending but will ask for money from each other when needed. I've earnt more in the past, now he's earning more. I've spent redundancy and bonuses on him and likewise. In the future I hope to earn well again but I do like a certain amount of autonomy in my spending and he does too.

GrandPoohBah Tue 23-Oct-12 13:43:38

We have 2 separate accounts each and a spreadsheet.

All our outgoings and our salaries go onto the spreadsheet. We ensure there's enough money to cover those in each account, then the remainder is split equally so we have the same amount of 'spending' money each in our second accounts, to fritter on whatever we want. It works for us, and when I'm on mat leave the same principle will apply, except DH will be bringing in the majority of the money.

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