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Deaths bring out the worst in people.... advice

(13 Posts)
ginmakesitallok Sat 20-Aug-11 16:54:35

DPs granda dies last week. He was DPs fathers Step-dad (no adoption or anything like that, married DPs gran when FIL was in his 30s) Anyway - Grandad had 2 daughters from a previous marriage - they moved to Australia over 40 years ago - didn't keep in touch with him. Grandad also had a niece living more locally who saw him irregularly.

FIL dies over 10 years ago - since then DMIL had been main carer for Grandad - did everythign for him - includling looking after his finances. He never had much money - on benefits etc since he retired, in sheltered housing no assets. DMIL and grandad had one joint bank account - not much left in it I think once funeral costs come off. (grandad had a post office account too - but nothign much in that I think)

So anyway - we were up clearing out his flat today and his neice arrived. She took a few things from the house and asked that DMIL forward details of bank etc to her as "they are expecting some money". She came up with some story about grandad being left £50k years ago - and that his daughters want it. We've never heard of this money, it's not in any accounts we know about, or any that the benefits folk would know about.

Question is re the joint bank account - DMIL was assuming that the balance would revert to her - as what's left in it is her money. Is this the case? Do we have to tell his daughters about it??

Absolutely sickening that the daughters have appeared out of the woodwork - he's been in and out of hospital for the last few years and they've never once been in contact to see how he is.

Neice had the audacity to thank us for clearing out his house - but who the hell else did she think would do it??? (though that's a whole other thread!!)

thanks for any advice

saggarmakersbottomknocker Sat 20-Aug-11 17:00:42

Sorry about grandad. sad

Balance of the joint account is DMILs.

If niece is so keen on the money side of things send her the funeral bill.

belledechocchipcookie Sat 20-Aug-11 17:02:10

sad I'm really sorry for your loss.

I'm assuming there's no will? If he does have 50k then his estate will have to go through probate. The government web site is helpful. There's a list of people who would inherit; any spouce would inherit first. If there's no spouce then it would be the biological children. If there's no assets then there's no need to go through probate, contents of the house are not included unless they are antiques etc. The next of kin is free to dispose of these as they see fit. It depends on how much is in the bank account also. It should legally transfer to DMIL. This site will explain it all better then me. My law is rusty so I apologise if I'm wrong.

ginmakesitallok Sat 20-Aug-11 20:15:00

thanks belle and saggar. There's no way he still had the money (if he ever had it in the first place) Funeral is paid for - prepaid before he died. There is no will - he didn't have anything worth putting in one. He had some was medals which we've got. Neice said that we could keep his, but that she wanted some first world war ones he had which were his fathers. We have 2 first world war medals - but they are inscribed with DPs Grandmothers fathers name - so she's not getting those!!!

Very sad going through what he'd accumulated over 96 years - 99% of it went straight in bin or to charity shops sad

Belle - my law is rusty too (nearly 20 years since my degree!) Legally I know that the daughers have a right to his estate, but morally it just makes me sick. When we called Neice to tell her he had died the first thing she said was "I'll be down tomorrow, there are a few things I want" - not even a "how did it happen?" Parasite

belledechocchipcookie Sat 20-Aug-11 20:19:41

sad I'm really sorry. Daughters only if there's no wife I think.

ginmakesitallok Sat 20-Aug-11 20:39:11

Well we offered neice anything she wanted from the house - and anything she wanted to send to daughters to remember their dad by (pictures/wee ornaments etc) she just said they'd be too awkward to post (?????) adn that she had plenty of photos. Furniture etc just getting uplifted by clearance company. Only thing neice said she might want was his motability scooter..... which we've siad she can take if she gets it upifted by Wednesday, otherwise another resident in the housing complex can have it.

His wife (DPs gran) died 7 years ago.

belledechocchipcookie Sat 20-Aug-11 20:49:55

Grieving's hard. sad I didn't want anything of my father's, I remember him for his kindness. I ended up with one of his dvd players though.

Gonzo33 Sun 21-Aug-11 06:55:57

My dh and I were talking about this the other day. It really is appalling the way some people act when one of their "loved one's" have died.

I do feel for you.

nilequeen Sun 21-Aug-11 07:58:50

In a nut shell...if he's married the whole lot will go to his wife, unless he has a will stating otherwise.

Tell the rest of them to sod off.

By the way, check out

- just in case Gran is entitled to any extra benefits due ot bereavement.

nilequeen Sun 21-Aug-11 08:04:03

My apologies, I didn't realise his wife died seven years ago. I'm afraid the entire estate goes to his daughters. As you said, there doesn't seem to be any evidence of there being a great deal of money involved, but it's the principal isn't it? It infuriates me. Those who care for loved ones in old age are the more deserving.

ruddynorah Sun 21-Aug-11 08:05:02

With a joint account any money goes to the other account holder.

myBOYSareBONKERS Thu 25-Aug-11 07:53:56

Me being a bitter old person wink having seen the same thing happen in my own family - would not do any-more with the selling of the estate and let the daughters sort it themselves. The fact they are in Oz is going to make it very difficult and expensive for them to sort out.

I am glad he had you and your family to love and care for him x

ginmakesitallok Thu 25-Aug-11 21:47:22

ty myboysarebonkers - he would have wanted us to sort it out and it's the least we could have done for him.

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