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DH has no idea how much / where our savings are

(13 Posts)
create Wed 17-Aug-11 16:13:39

I've always been responsible for our money/ bills etc. Both salaries go into a joint account, bills are paid and we discuss what is to be done with anything left over. When I met DH he had loads of debts. I didn't clear them for him, he paid them off himself, but I did pretty much control his spending until they were gone. He was happy with that at the time and happy to have the debts cleared.

Since his credit cards were cut up (again he was happy/relived about that), he hasn't really been a big spender. Big items like holidays and cars will be joint decisions if/when we have the cash and we are lucky enough (now we're debt free) not to have to think too hard about buying a DVD/ meal out. DH has a debit card for the joint account, which he is free to use, but he does check with me, just to make sure funds are available.

I am by nature a saver. Over the years I have squirreled away a fair amount. From time to time I have mentioned to DH that we have an account here or there and told him the balance, but he generally has very little interest.

It occurs to me that (if I wanted to) I could clear out all our savings and he'd have no real idea of how much he'd lost. I'd hate to feel that vulnerable myself, but it doesn't seem to worry DH. It does worry me though that if something happened to me, DH wouldn't know where his money is. What do I need to do to make sure he can get what he needs if the worst should happen? Most of it is in joint accounts, so in theory he can have easy access, but not if he doesn't know where the accounts are . I've tried to tell him we need to sit down so I can explain it all to him, but he doesn't want to think about it. I imagine him being like one of those poor widows, so reliant on her late DH, that she doesn't know how to write a check. sad

Clint Wed 17-Aug-11 16:19:52

Pretty much the same in our house really - DH doesn't do anything other than work for the money and then I deal with it - he does not get a receipt wink

I could not be in his shoes as I am a control freak I need to know where we are in terms of money so that I can sleep at night because, like you describe, we are relatively newly debt free and if he were left to his own devices unless I managed things I don't think we would be. I suppose in a partnership it's just important that one person plays the accountant.

DH checks the car for oil etc smile

oldenoughtowearpurple Wed 17-Aug-11 16:21:46

He doesn't want to know, and given his past that's probably a fairly healthy way for it to be.

Write it all down somewhere, all the account names and numbers and passwords and pin codes. Make sure he knows where the list is and give another copy to someone you can trust if you fell under a bus. And celebrate the fact he respects your financial acumen and is happy for the savings to be inaccessible to him.

TheRealMBJ Wed 17-Aug-11 16:21:51

He obviously trusts you smile.

Does he have access to the accounts, I mean are they joint savings accounts? Do you have the paperwork filed somewhere wher he can have easy access to it?

As he is happy for you to deal with it, and you are happy to ddo it, perhaps you should just organise things and have it all readily accessible for him and then send him an email update say bimonthly or something?

TheRealMBJ Wed 17-Aug-11 16:22:44

Maybe have the documents recorded and save at a solicitor's?

Doyouthinktheysaurus Wed 17-Aug-11 16:36:29

Dh is a bit like that. I arrange all the savings accounts so they are in my name.

I am a control freak and couldn't deal with that but dh doesn't seem to care. Even his inheritance from his dad has gone into a savings account in my name, just because we already had the account and it was the only one I could remember the login details for.

I would never dream of touching it without his permission but if the tables were turned I wouldn't be comfortableconfused

Gonzo33 Wed 17-Aug-11 18:33:37

My DH and I are exactly the same. I have a file made up with a front sheet showing account numbers, insitiutions and telephone numbers for all of these for him. This file also includes Life Assurance details for both of us, Home Insurance, all the other boring stuff or so dh thinks

create Wed 17-Aug-11 18:36:08

Hmm. See I wondered about giving him a summary sheet, but then if we were burgled (as we were last year) they have easy access to all our details

minipie Wed 17-Aug-11 18:40:54

Summary sheet is a good idea - but store it online rather than on paper. There are online "vaults" where you can store details like this, I'm sure.

However do not put passwords or PIN codes on there.

wearenotinkansas Thu 18-Aug-11 07:54:05

We're the same. I actually gave my DP part of my savings to put in his sole name account in case I got run over by a bus and he had no cash. I periodically worry that he's actually spent them but swears he hasn't.

I keep paper copies of all the savings info etc. TBH my BIL will end up sorting all this out if I did go under the bus - and he's smart enough to work through all the paper work.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 18-Aug-11 07:57:37

Create, could you make a summary sheet and give it to your Mum, or something? Without your names on it? And then just tell DH, if I get hit by a bus my Mum's got the details?

Or a safe deposit box at the bank, do they still do those?

lilystar Thu 18-Aug-11 19:48:09

We're the same - DH has ISAs in his name, but has no interest in who they are with or how much is in them.I open/transfer them as needed each year. Everything else is in my name, as he is a HR taxpayer and I am a SAHM so don't pay any tax as I don't earn enough on the savings interest. We have a joint current account which he has theoretical internet access to, but has not used since I took over managing the money.

We have a safe at home which has a memory card on it with encrypted details of the accounts, and my parents have a copy in their safe, there's also a paper list updated yearly which is lodged with our wills at the solicitor's office.

Gonzo33 Sun 21-Aug-11 17:51:14

I only have my paperwork here at the moment because we are living overseas in a secure compound. When we go back to UK it will be lodged with the bank probably.

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