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How can i help get sons girlfriend through collage

(5 Posts)
ks1965 Mon 13-Jun-11 12:28:53

my sons girlfriend moved back with her mother last year after living with her grandparents most of her life. Her mother lives a 2 hour bus ride from her school so I agreed she could stay with us during the week to enable her to finish school (she was 15 then). During this time her mother has not supported her financially at all. We have been left to pay for everything food, clothes, transport even her prom dress etc.Her mother is on benefits and claims everything going but when she asks for money for the simplest thing her mother refuses. She has now turned 16 and wants to go to collage but her mother refuses to support her financially in this and we can no longer afford to do this. I am worried that all the hard work she has put into her schooling will be wasted. I could report her mum and see about claiming the money myself for her but dont want to cause problems for her with her mum.It is really annoying that her mum is sitting back taking the money and not spending benefits on what they are intended. It really needs sorting soon but i am at a total loss at what to do...any advice appreciated

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 13-Jun-11 13:26:01

Benefits for Young People Financial Help for Young People in education or training The rules for people between 16 and 18 are different than for those over 18, but I think she should start the ball rolling by talking to places like the Job Centre, as the first document suggests, and see how realistic it is to establish herself as an independent adult. The second document is all about the help available to young people at college etc. They may not be the people to help 100% but may be able to point her in the right direction. You can support her in this -go with her to any meetings and make sure that she tells them the full story. Good luck

vj32 Mon 13-Jun-11 19:11:31

The best thing you can do is talk to her Mum.

She will need to agree to stop claiming CB and CTC for you or another adult to claim them.

The other option is for her to formally declare she will not support her daughter any longer - by letter and/or by confirming this on the phone to the jobcentre, local council etc. She them stops claiming CB and CTC for her daughter, who will then be housed by the council (the one where her Mum lives - because this is her most recent address) and can claim income support and a govt bursary that replaces EMA. This will not be a lot of money and housing provided is often in worst part of town, although usually with other young people in 'supported' housing.

If Mum will not do either of these things, daughter can still claim govt bursary that replaces EMA - it will be up to the college how much she gets.

I would recommend you contact the student services/student support department at the college she has applied to, and if they won't or can't help, try Connexions - either Connexions Direct (google it) or local Connexions centre if they have survived in your area.

You can try the Jobcentre, but most jobcentre staff do not deal with under 18s so do not know the rules. My knowledge is out of date but I think this is all still true - ask Connexions or the college.

ks1965 Mon 13-Jun-11 21:18:16

thank you, i am going with her to connextions this week.I know for certain her mum wont give up the benefits without a fight although in my opinion she is recieving them falsely, i even had to buy her a coat and boots in winter as she didnt have them. Im happy for her to go on living here rent free etc but hope she can get the money to see herself through college

RockChick1984 Mon 13-Jun-11 23:14:32

Can she not get a part time job whilst studying to help support herself through college? When I was at college we all had to do this (shortly before EMA wsa introduced) so myself and most of my friends worked either at the local cinema or glass collecting in a bar, it's not a lot of cash but it was a big help!

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