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What should I say in the letter

(14 Posts)
missdisorganised1 Thu 06-Jan-11 08:49:20

I am finding it difficult to cope with running my home. Since I was 18 (October last year) I have been living in the family home on my own but there always seems to be something that needs to be done. Cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping: the list seems never ending. I am still at school so I am not around during the day except on Thurdays when I have 2 free lessons in a row.

Would it be dreadful to ask the trustees of my Mum and Dads estate to release money to pay for a cleaner for a couple of hours per week?

Chil1234 Thu 06-Jan-11 10:15:39

It's OK to employ a cleaner if you can afford one, of course it is. They usually just clean, however, so you'd still need to do laundry and cooking. But a lot of people manage to look after a house and combine it with a full time job without needing outside help....especially if there's just one person living in it rather than a big family. Sometimes it's a just a question of organisation.

legaleagle2 Thu 06-Jan-11 12:02:05

You mentioned trustees on another thread - so I am assuming that both your parents are deceased? Rather than just money are you also getting enough emotional support? You are only 18.

I know from my own children that there is lots of work to do in the sixth form and with all due respect to your trustees their responsibilities are somewhat wider than just financial matters.

marlowwills Thu 06-Jan-11 12:08:39

Legaleagle2, if you're legally qualified, I'm sure you're aware that the trustees' duties are in fact purely financial, especially if they are professionals such as solicitors. Their remit is to ensure that the estate is properly invested and used for the benefit of the OP and any other minor beneficiaries.

The OPs Guardians would be the people expected to provide emotional support, although of course their appointment will now have lapsed.

OP, are the trustees professional executors, eg solicitors or a bank, or are they family members.

legaleagle2 Thu 06-Jan-11 13:21:46

Mea culpa.

I had assumed that the trustees were family: or at least people who would also feel interested in the non-financial welfare of the OP.

Xales Thu 06-Jan-11 18:24:18

Sorry that you are trying to run a household and deal with everything on your own. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for some money to be released.

Is there just you or others in the house that you are looking after too? It may be that you just need to make a schedule or explain to everyone (if there are others that they need to pitch in and help now).

If it is just yourself then. The washing machine takes minutes to load and can run while you are at school/over night. Then it is just 10 minutes to hang it out/bring it in etc.

If you are studying then you should have breaks and you can take 10 minutes to do this.

I do minimal ironing and find folding straight from the tumble dryer deals with most things.

I also have a dishwasher (can you see my lazy streak yet?). Emptying the dishwasher takes as long as the kettle takes to boil for a cuppa. Dishes and cups etc stashed as you go takes as long as carrying them into the kitchen and dumping them on the side (and less time that filling a bowl, washing, drying etc).

Online shopping/meal planning can go hand in hand. If you know what you are eating you can wizz through an online shop and I think with some you can set up a set list of items.
Add extra items if needs be as you run out/get low and then you can just hit the send button.

If you keep things tidy then 10 minutes a day is enough to dust/hoover one room through they shouldn't need much more than that.

You are right though. It never ends!!!!!

Make sure to look after yourself and have some fun time.

PinkElephantsOnParade Thu 06-Jan-11 19:23:45

I would be cautious about recommending running the washing machine overnight or while you are out as according to the Fire service this is a major cause of house fires. Run the machine in the evening while you do homework etc instead.

As someone whose family narrowly avoided death in a house fire this kind of thing preys on my mind now.

PinkElephantsOnParade Thu 06-Jan-11 19:25:15

Also can I also appeal to everyone to make sure you have adequate smoke detectors installed (ie one on each floor)

They saved our lives.

OK, off my soapbox now! smile

PinkElephantsOnParade Thu 06-Jan-11 19:27:51

Oh, and I would say you are reasonable to want a cleaner as you have studying to do in the evening, which most people with full time jobs don't have.

It is worth it to give you time to concentrate on your studies, which is very important.

Do you have anyone you can lean on emotionally OP? 18 is very young to feel alone in the world like this.

missdisorganised1 Thu 06-Jan-11 21:50:32

I have my Nan and Granddad quite close. They looked after me from after the accident until I was 18.

PinkElephantsOnParade Fri 07-Jan-11 00:38:36

Glad you have some family still close, miss.

Though they can offer emotional support I would imagine that as they will be getting on in years they probably can't help much around the house.

I think you are entirely justified in asking for money for a cleaner as you have enough on your plate spending all day at school then you have studying in the evening.

I don't think I could have coped with studying at school, study in the evening AND running a home with no help at the age of 18 so I don't see why you should have to.

I can understand that the trustees need to make sure you do not waste all the money in the trust but asking for a couple of hours cleaning a week is not unreasonable.

missdisorganised1 Fri 07-Jan-11 07:22:22

I am going to try to get more help. I only get one shot at my A2 exams and I am finding running a house and myself plus the school work too much really. I didn't finish school stuff till gone 10 last night. Busy at school today with no free lessons.

PinkElephantsOnParade Fri 07-Jan-11 14:36:51

Absolutely right miss.

Make sure you impress on the trustees how having no help to run the house is impacting on your studies. They do have an obligation to consider such factors.

Free lessons are supposed to be for private study, not for cleaning your house. If you are having to use this time for housework it will affect your exam performance.

missdisorganised1 Fri 07-Jan-11 16:40:22

For support I have my Nan and Granddad living quite close. They looked after me after the accident until I was 18 and were the ones who told me that my Mum and Dad had been killed. They sat either side of me at the funeral and also beamed love and support as I stood at the front to read the eulogy. I also have an aunt and an uncle, who are the trustees of my Mum and Dads estate, I like them a lot but as they live an hour+ away I don’t see them very often. The Head of Year 13 has been very helpful and kind to me and I know I can always go to her if I am having a bad day. She gets her hankie box out and listens patiently to me. My form tutor is not so good. He tends to start conversations with, “Now your Mum and Dad are in heaven …”.

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