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Seperation/divorce = near 'povety'?

(7 Posts)
WherecanIhide Sun 12-Dec-10 08:27:12

Hi everyone,

I was wondering if divorce always means being much worse off financially? I've been a stay at home mum for years (just finished a degree)and am sick to the stomach worrying about our 2 children (youngest aged 12) and losing the house.

We have a big mortgage on our small house and obviously all the other bills. My earning potential is not good because I don't have much practical experience in anything.

At what point will we have to sell the house?

Any help/advice gratefully recieved.

Sherbert37 Sun 12-Dec-10 08:37:38

So sorry for you. I have been through this with 3 teenagers. I managed to keep the house by extending the term of the mortgage and taking out more to pay off ex DH. Gutted as only had a few years to pay but it has been manageable so far.
Where it will hit here is when DCs go to uni. We had saved for them so they would not have needed loans but I had to let ex have that money (25k) to keep the house. He has since spent the whole lot on new carpets, curtains, sofas.
Good luck. Hope you can work it out.

WherecanIhide Sun 12-Dec-10 09:54:00

Thankyou for your reply.

Chil1234 Sun 12-Dec-10 10:03:34

Bottom line is that if you go from two to one incomes - even with maintenance/child support payments taken into account - then you have to adjust your lifestyle to match your new financial circumstances. You have to become more resourceful, certainly. What I would say, however, is that being trapped in a marriage just because you're worried that you won't manage solo is the most soul-destroying thing, whereas being independent, if a little strapped for cash or living somewhere different, is ultimately very liberating and empowering.

Sherbert37 Sun 12-Dec-10 10:09:37

Totally agree. Ex was never good with money and has already spent beyond his means again. I don't have much but am managing. Eldest DS is 17 and works after school. He has been able to pay for driving lessons, toasted car insurance and save for uni. Will be more difficult for DD as she is young for her year and does not have as long to save up.
If I had any sort of expensive social life things would be more difficult.

ChasingSquirrels Sun 12-Dec-10 10:13:16

You need to look at a budget, what you incomings and outgoings will be and whether you can afford it.
And if you can't you have to look at how you can minimise your outgoing or increase your income. Which might involve selling the house.

If you go from two people supporting one household, to those same two people supporting two households then something, somewhere has to give. So yes, overall it is very likely that you will be worse off financially.

WherecanIhide Sun 12-Dec-10 10:53:20

Thankyou for your replies.

I do expect to be worse off, and I know I'll have to get a job and struggle with fitting it around the children - like everyone else does. I just want to be able to pay the bills. Anything else would be a bonus. x

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