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How much % of his salary am I entitled to?

(47 Posts)
pinkypig Tue 19-Mar-13 13:29:52

Also posted in divorce.

Just beginng the process of divorce on the grounds of his adultery (hidden for 16 months).

We have 4 children aged 6, 4, 2 and 10 months.

We have no investments, no property, nothing (he was shit with money and spent quite a bit on OW).

He is offering me 62% of his income plus 50% of any bonuses he receives. What about his pension, am I entitled to that. I am 40 this year and gave up my career to have our family.

Do any of you have any experience of this. 62% of the pot when I will have 5 people to pay for seems low. I was thinking more like 69%. Any thoughts?

We are about to start mediation but I wanted to just ask if anyone here had any experience or advice.

Married for 8.5 years. I worked until we had our first child.


RedHelenB Tue 19-Mar-13 13:44:42

40 is still quite young & in 5 years time when your youngest is school aged you could still have 25 years of work ahead of you!

Is he a high earner because that is a big percentage he is offering you _ CSA would only want 25%. Who owns the family home & what equity/mortgage is there?

RedHelenB Tue 19-Mar-13 13:47:42

Sorry, just seen no property. Can he manage with OW on the 31% you propose is left?

I think the figures seem pie in the sky & in reality a few years downe line you will be lucky to have a third.

pinkypig Tue 19-Mar-13 13:51:18

Yes a high earner. So was clearing £8k per month.

pinkypig Tue 19-Mar-13 13:53:30

Sorry I realise it all probably sounds mad to you. We are in central london tho renting and for a small 3 bed house is £3k per month.

pinkypig Tue 19-Mar-13 13:54:20

I would have to pull the kids out of their good state school in order to move to a cheaper/different area. That means new friends, new surroundings etc.

RedHelenB Tue 19-Mar-13 14:09:55

I have a feeling he will go along with what you say then in a years time will revert to the CSA. Check the website because for higher earners the rules are different. 2/3 of £8000 leaves him with around 2500 to rent his own place with enough space for the kids to stay, travel to work, clothes, bills food etc so sounds tight to me given that he hasn't managed to save any money when you only had onel lot of bills & rent to pay for.

blibbleflop Tue 19-Mar-13 14:14:48

Not a lawyer take with a grain of salt

62% is a massive percentage, if he's offering that and thinks it can work I would snap his hand off. With regards to the Divorce his pension would (probably) be treated as a marital asset and would be split accordingly. The only thing I'd say is be careful with this one, he may not be so happy to give you such a big maintenance payout if he thinks you're being greedy.

As for the maintenance, he's only required to pay £500 per week if he's pulling £2k P/W. This amount is assuming he has the children for one day a week or less and has no children with O/W. This would drop to £425/400/375 per week if he had 1/2/3 children with O/W. Again it would also drop if he had the kids more than 1 night a week.

Whatever money he gives you he still has to put a roof over his own head suitable for the children to spend the night at. Long term I don't think that 62% is a workable percentage and you should probably negotiate it lower in the hopes that he'll keep it up for longer.

pinkypig Tue 19-Mar-13 14:17:40

RedHelen yes it will be tight but he has the potential to earn more. He is also offering 50% of all bonuses. If I did get this agreement how many years can I get him to sign up for without renegotiation? Thanks

RedHelenB Tue 19-Mar-13 15:57:45

No more than one without CSA involvement. Plus, he can go back to court & argue his needs are greater at any time. I think the pension split would just be for the 8.5 years of marriage too.

What on earth was all the money spent in when you were together? I can't see him willing to bust a gut to live a massively inferior life & would be very surprised if he was paying anything like 62% in two years time.

Collaborate Tue 19-Mar-13 16:32:49

I hope no offence is taken, but it never ceases to amaze me how authoritative sounding some advice given on these boards can be when many have no legal qualifications and there is simply insufficient information by which a qualified lawyer would be willing to stick their neck out.

mumblechum1 Tue 19-Mar-13 17:45:12

grin at Collaborate who said what I was thinking!

OP, you really need to go and see a solicitor, but as a guideline, you are entitled to 25% of your husband's net income for child mtce.

You may or may not get something on top of that for yourself but that will usually be short term for around 5 to 7 years imo.

If you do agree global maintenance at 69% or whatever, he could go to the CSA after 12 months and ask that they do an assessment, which will be 25%.

nannyof3 Tue 19-Mar-13 17:50:31

Ur not entitled to any bonus' so his doing u a favour..

nannyof3 Tue 19-Mar-13 17:51:01

Csa is only 25%

RedHelenB Tue 19-Mar-13 17:55:06

If there were assets involved Collaborate I would agree with you but given that he could jack his job in, become freelance etc it could well be that a lot of non existent money ( no savings or property) could be spent on lawyers for little purpose. OP has already said they are starting mediation soon.

Gigondas Tue 19-Mar-13 18:01:50

Agree with collaborate- see a lawyer as this is massively complex. What he pays for kids is one thing (CSa rules are one thing but you can agree something outside this and it may often be more than CSa amount but it has to be agreed).

the whole issue of how you split income if you have no assets in a high income case is complex. Pension sharing is also something that needs experience.

please find someone with experiences in this area as you aren't going to find it on the net and with a few exceptions, most people on Mn are unlikely to be dealing with similar background.

pinkypig Tue 19-Mar-13 18:09:15

Thanks folks for all your messages. I do have a solicitor and am seeing her as soon as she fixes me an apt.
Many Thanks

Collaborate Tue 19-Mar-13 18:44:09

RedHelen: if you actually knew what you were advising about you would be aware of the Parlour judgment and how that would affect the advice that any decent lawyer would give. To sound as confident as you do when people might take heed of what you say us worrying. I hope you don't do something similar on any medical threads. At least we're not messing with people's health here - only their wealth.

sicutlilium Tue 19-Mar-13 18:49:10

Collaborate I do wish that MN had a like button. McFarlane as well?

mumblechum1 Tue 19-Mar-13 18:52:49

LIKE (Collaborate) grin. Yes, sicutlilium, Miller and McFarlane I would have thought, too

NorthernLurker Tue 19-Mar-13 19:06:09

No personal experience but my friends who have been through this have been told that (however much of a cheater and/or liar) their ex is, a partner paying maintainence can't be left unable to support themselves and one income which supports one family in a lifestyle will not by some magic means support two family units in the same lifestyle. You need legal advice but tbh I would snap his arm off at 62% plus an ongoing share of bonuses. Just understand that it's a level that's likely to drop big time over the next few years.

RedHelenB Tue 19-Mar-13 19:09:57

As their is a disclaimer in both medical & legal boards on mumsnet then you needn't worry!! People use these boards to get a general picture & to gain experiences otherwise they would tootle off to the drs or the lawyers. No one knows who anybody is on the internet & i don't take it as face value that you are a lawyer though i am sure you are. When I divorced the experiences of others going through it helped me enormously & meant that I could be very focused when with my solicitor.

BUT, no one would enjoy having 7/10 of their salary going elsewhere & even if a court ruled such a thing it is unlikely to be a l less stressful job, going freelance or just paying bits & pieces. Look at the number of CSA threads to see how little NRP's adhere to the notion of paying maintenance especially wehre OW are inviolved!!!

RedHelenB Tue 19-Mar-13 19:11:01

Oh & I totally agree with Northern.

RedHelenB Tue 19-Mar-13 19:13:45

there not their!!

babybarrister Tue 19-Mar-13 20:59:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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