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So if I have a DIFFERENT surname on my birth certificate... Am I in twouble?

(26 Posts)
Nemofish Mon 18-Jan-10 20:28:23

Recently got myself a new birth certificate from Canada (am foreign!) and to my surprise the surname is different to the one I was expecting!

I have always had my mothers first husbands name (he is not my dad). The name on my birth certificate is my biological fathers name.

I had no idea, my mother is an old bag not a nice individual and I cannot believe she never told me this simple fucking fact.

So... I got married with the 'wrong' surname, if you know what I mean, is my marriage still valid as it were? This is something totally out of my control and as I am currently applying for citizenship here (which is a whole other thread, as my mother did not bother to assure my immigration status hmm) I am worried I will look like some sort of Canadian international woman of mystery... will it look dodgy? Who the heck do I ask if it's 'okay?'

<confused emoticon>
<goes to find stately home thread>

mamaloco Tue 19-Jan-10 14:17:59

How did you get married without a birth certificate? I know it is not a useful comment but I am almost sure you need one.
If you really didn't have a look at it before it is a genuine mistake, may be you should talk to a lawyer? Some of them have an hour free consultation talk to one on the phone and see what happen.
Have you checked that you have other official papers (i.e. dated after your birth certificate) stating your new name? your mum wedding certificated, autorisation from her husband for you to use his name, adoption papers....
Do you have a passport? if yes what papers did they ask you to give? You might have right to use your name, even if it is not the one on your birth certificate

Nemofish Tue 19-Jan-10 18:07:02

I have been using my Canadian birth card copy (their version of the certificate). It wasn't that I hadn't looked, but that the original is in this different name.

I know my mothers husband will not have given any sort of permission, he doesn't know I exist!

Passport has always been fine and in the name in what I thought was my maiden name. I suspect my mum has changed my surname at a later date without ever mentioning it to me. But of course whenever I have been asked for the 'name I was born with' iykwim, I have been saying the 'wrong' name.

Nemofish Tue 19-Jan-10 18:08:04

Btw I am not adopted, how I wish that it were so!

SnowTulips Tue 19-Jan-10 18:13:54

i think mamaloco meant your mothers first husband, the one who's name you use.

surely to take his name he would have had to either officially adopt you or else your mother would have had to apply for a change of name on your behalf... although as you were a child i don't think many countries allow that.

btw... how on earth did you order a birth cert without having the right name? and surely if the hard copy was in a differant name that implies at some point your name was legally changed?

nickschick Tue 19-Jan-10 18:18:32

This happened to me sad Ive had 4 different surnames and only remember 1 sad some parents screw their kids right up.

Everything I have is in different names sad.

threetimemummy Tue 19-Jan-10 18:25:59

Ok. I dont think you will be in trouble.

My mother split with my bio dad. HIS name was on the certificate, but I never lived with him at all. Five years later my mum ha met and married and procreated with another man (who I now call Dad!! <3 ) . As one child was ging ot have his name, they jut "decided that all of us would. No adoption, no paperwork, just enrolled us in school under the new name.

In Australia (which is where this was) there is a rule/law (?)/understanding that after a certain number of years of being 'known as' that you officially have claim to that name. ALL of my school certs, passport etc are under my 'assumed' name. (although I originally had a letter from bio dad saying i was allowed a passport under assumed name but noone can recall where the letter was and it has never been an issue getting a passport)

When i got married, i deed-polled my name to my assumed name, as you are required to get a birth cert certified, and then changed my name by marriage a month later!!

My , sorry, very long winded point is, that IIRC forom a very dodgy geography/history/socilal science lesson that Canada ha somewhat imilar aws to Oz, and you may be able to just deed poll your name? Esp as you have assumed it for so long.

The immi office had no queres once they saw the three pieces f paper (birh cert, deed poll, marriage cert) - I dont think they date checked them!! They certainly never queried why m name wasnt changed until a month b4 marriage but all my school certs were already in that name!!

The other thing is, just double check that you dont need to pop down to the registry offi and get your marriage recertified if you havent provided the right info.

Good luck!!

threetimemummy Tue 19-Jan-10 18:26:58

Apologies for the typos - typing on a dodgy laptop!!!

Nemofish Tue 19-Jan-10 18:42:30

Thank you so much threetimemummy, I will ring the registry office tommorrow.

It does seem rather fishy how it just changed from the original birth cert to the later one... <suspects mother of some bizarre intricate fraud>

I am relieved that I am not the only one, nicksshick!

Tamarto Tue 19-Jan-10 19:01:50

You don't need someones permission to use their name. hmm

You can change your childs name in this country very easily i'm not sure why you'd pressume any other was so different.

To the OP i'd imagine that your mother has changed your name at some point as you have the other copy, so i'm sure your marriage is perfectly legal and can't see any implications for anything else tbh.

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 Tue 19-Jan-10 19:06:34

What I have always found odd and never understood is how I can have my father's surname on my birth certificate but there is a line through his name. I assume he wouldn't go with my mother to register me or else she didn't tell him she was going/wouldn't let him.

For a while I was known by her latest boyfriends name but once I was old enough I used my father's name. He is a waste of space but it mattered at the time.

Happy to be married and have my husband's name now.

How can your mum's husband not know she has a daughter?!?!

nickschick Tue 19-Jan-10 21:06:59

Fab maybe she put it there? Im like you new boyfriend=new surname sad.

I will never ever change my surname now regardless of what may happen.

Nemofish Tue 19-Jan-10 21:39:30

Fab her and her husband were separated and he went to live in a Hare Krishna commune. She met my dad a few years later and had me. Even when she contacted her husband for a divorce she never mentioned it! Though why should she I guess, but the whole thing is just odd.

I'm so glad I married and took dh's name, it has a certain ring to it.

Tamarto hopefully you are right! It just took me aback and knowing nothing about it, I panicked.

nickschick and Fab see you on stately homes thread!

nickschick Tue 19-Jan-10 22:33:40

I dare not even come to the stately home thread waiting to have access to my social service records sadsadbiscuit

Nemofish Wed 20-Jan-10 03:13:49

That's so shit nickschick.

<resolves to stop moaning about own problems>

I have no doubt that the stately homes thread will be there whenever you are ready. It's such a long process. Still realising that things I thought were normal are just not and my mother still manages to stun me with her utter contempt / thoughtlessness / selfishness / innapropriateness.

But I'll be buggered if I'm going to let her turn me into a gibbering wreck and win.

<dusts self off>

<a bit>

Nemofish Wed 20-Jan-10 03:14:33

And I think biscuit's help. smile

Nemofish Wed 20-Jan-10 03:17:15

I have done a thread in relationships
(I'm an ex-heroin addict and I'm falling)

Tis about this but I rant elaborate a bit. Would be grateful for any words of wisdom or manly pats on the shoulder, hope it isn't bad form to 'advertise' a thread on a thread (as long as it's yer own thread).

Thanks for all your help so far guys.

JustAnotherManicMummy Wed 20-Jan-10 03:25:16

Nemo why have you ordered a copy of your birth certificate? Do you need it for something specific?

I would have thought your passport is all the identification you need for getting married to opening bank accounts etc? From what you've said I would ignore this newly found certificate with regard to anything that has happened in your life since you obtained your passport as your passport is correct and supercedes the birth certificate.

If you try to apply what's on that certificate to your life now because you'll open a massive can of worms and I can't see the point of that. But I can understand if you are curious and want to know why you have a differnt name and decide to investigate that.

Are you in touch with your mother at all? Could you ask her about it? Or is there another family member like an aunt or other who might be able to tell you more?

Nemofish Wed 20-Jan-10 03:34:16

No-one to ask about it, I don't talk to my mother. She always said she threw out the original by accident, now I suspect it's because it had my original name on it!

I needed to obtain a 'brand-new' one to apply for bristish citizenship. I only had a birth 'card' thing which had been fine for bank accounts and yes getting married etc.

Really the name itself is irrelevant to me, it doesn't rally matter what my name once (legally) was. I think that it has already opened the can of worms that is me and my mum - I think she had narcissistic personality disorder to some degree, changing my name and never telling me is just a sympton of this I feel.

Thank you JAMM for taking the time to read my slightly odd posts and taking the time to reply. I have another thread in relationships with the word 'heroin' in the title, feel free to wander over. Then again you might be sensible and go to bed instead! smile

JustAnotherManicMummy Wed 20-Jan-10 03:41:24

No need to thank - I'm nosey interested grin

Strange that they need your birth certificate if you have a passport - although I am not privy to the intracacies of Home Office bureaucracy. I thought you used a birth certificate to get a passport and then move house several times never to see said birth certificate again <this may just be me wink>

I will have a look for your other thread as I can't sleep. Did have a quick look for it but got way-laid by another thread. Off I go to try again!

Nemofish Wed 20-Jan-10 03:45:46

Thank you thank you thank you.

Birth 'card' thing does seem to have been sufficient for everything, equivalent to 'proper' birth certficate. (I only have a canadian passport). God I'm boring myself now!!!

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 Wed 20-Jan-10 07:31:28

I should have said there is a line through the space for my father's name on my birth certificate. He isn't named on it at all.

izzybiz Wed 20-Jan-10 07:36:01

This happened to a friend of mine, she was married it had never caused a problem.

When it came to applying for her first passport it was different. She had to get a solicitor to help her in the end, was very expensive.

SnowTulips Wed 20-Jan-10 10:17:48

Tamarto... here in Ireland when i register my kids under dp's surname i'm informed every time that i can't change the surname at a later date so i have to be sure i want them to have dp's surname.

I presumed as Ireland and England have alot of similar laws, and i know name laws in other european countries are quite strict that English and therefore Canadian law would be similar.

HeidiMAY2014 Thu 11-May-17 23:17:29

Hi not sure but was wondering if anybody had any ideas on this.....
So my husband was born whilst his dad was over seas with the army so he was registered in his mother's maiden name when his dad came home he obviously wanted his name on the birth certificate which I have read online that the case would be to 're register him with both parents present but it turns out tho isn't the case and that my husband was adopted by who he has always thought to be his dad so does this mean there is a change he isn't his real dad my husband mum is sticking to the story of he had to adopt him as he wasn't present when he was registered??? Sorry about the essay and lack of punctuation I had to type fast before losing track lol. XxX

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