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What is alimony please?

(13 Posts)
mpuddleduck Sat 24-Oct-09 09:13:21

Can anyone give me some idea of how this alimony works please?
H and I have been have been apart since may.
we have 4 children.
I have told him I don't think we could live together again, and I think we will now divorce.
He said it will be an easy 50/50 split of our savings and he might sort out some money for the children.
He has asked a friend who is a lawyer to do all the legal stuff. The friend has asked if I agree, but also mentioned alimony, which I hadn't heard of.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Sat 24-Oct-09 16:15:27

You need a lawyer of your own; you cannot share one with your ex, as said lawyer would encounter a conflict of interest, and it's rather unprofessional of your "friend" to even consider it.

It's not the case that your ex "might sort out some money for the children"; he has a legal duty to support them. Alimony is just another word for maintenance; are you in Scotland, perhaps?

See a lawyer/CAB on Monday.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern Sat 24-Oct-09 16:21:42

I always thought alimony was spousal support not child support not so common in this country but very much so elsewhere.

Agree about the lawyer though I do think there will always be a conflict of interests there and you need to have one of your own.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Sat 24-Oct-09 16:24:02

Incidentally, it probably won't be a straightforward 50/50 on the savings either; and do you own a property?

Expect him to fight dirty, he's already started trying to con you out of your rights.

mpuddleduck Sat 24-Oct-09 18:39:25

I think he meant spousal support as we had already mentioned money the children might need.
I will find it very difficult to get to cab or a lawyer as I don't live near a town. I will look online, but does anyone know if this kind of thing is possible on the phone or online? or would it definately mean a trip to see them?

OldLadyKnowsNothing Sat 24-Oct-09 19:06:33

If you're in Scotland, you call.

If you're elsewhere in the UK, have a look here.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Sat 24-Oct-09 19:07:17

Yup, buggered up that first link; try here.

babybarrister Sat 24-Oct-09 21:59:52

go on to Resolution website which has a full list of specialist family lawyers all over certainly England Wales including those offering legal aid. difficult but not imopssible not to go to their office. CAB are not going to be appropriate to sort out complex finances IMO

mpuddleduck Sun 25-Oct-09 00:10:39

Thank you. I really need to get this sorted now. I was told on another thread to see a solicitor ages ago, and I have been putting it off, guess I still can't believe Iam actually doing this.
OldLadyKnowsNothing I have emailed a form from your link.
Off to look at the Resolution website now.

The friend did say he couldn't represent both of us, but if we were agreed one party wouldn't need to be represented. Then he went on to mention alimony, which made me think I should find out a bit more before I agree to anything.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Sun 25-Oct-09 00:19:32

Please, please, do see a lawyer. If it's all nice and friendly between you and your ex now, that's great, but your ex doesn't understand his legal obligations so these need to be explained to him.

(I'm saying that to be nice, because he has got a lawyer so he should know damn well that he has no option over "sorting out some money for the children" and he is therefore, IMVHO, colluding with his lawyer, your "friend", to stitch up you and your children and act like a complete cnut - but hey, I'm a bit grumpy today, maybe he's Superman after all.)

mpuddleduck Sun 25-Oct-09 09:15:02

I think you are right, he is probably getting all sorts of advice from his parents and brother as well. His brother divorced a few years ago and it all became very bitchy , my poor sil was the woman from hell and his parents were so horrible, so I know how they will be thinking, just don't want to admit it.
I would like it to be all nice and amicable, but Iam beginning to realise I need to put my children first and make sure they don't suffer any more than I can help.
I will see what reply I get from the email I sent and look into getting some time off to visit a lawyer.

babybarrister Sun 25-Oct-09 09:32:33

CAB are very nice but you need a LAWYER!!

mpuddleduck Sun 25-Oct-09 10:04:04

Iam going to try and contact a lawyer on Monday, I don't think I will be entitled to legal aid because we have the money from the house sale, some of which is in his name, some in my name at the moment.

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